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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU and naive to think NOT all teenage boys use their smartphone look at porn

38 replies

bellarations · 19/09/2014 14:42

As above.
It would probably be bad form to mention names, but in another thread someone commented that smartphones are used by most teenage boys to look at porn.
Do I need to check ds (14) iphone tonight or is this comment an exaggeration?
What are your experiences ? Should I be worried?

OP posts:
ElephantsNeverForgive · 19/09/2014 14:45

Why would you look, what can you possibly gain except loosing his trust?

PenisesAreNotPink · 19/09/2014 14:46

I'm sure you've put parental controls on there already, right?

It's easy to do it on most of them.

Whether he looks at it or not if he's using your wi-fi you're liable if he downloads something dodgy (which is incredibly easy to do and adults know not to google various versions of 'teenage and sex')

Original poster
bellarations · 19/09/2014 14:50

Elephants . That crossed my mind, and the question "do I actually need to know?"
Penis. Yes I set the parental controls, I've never checked, I assume he hasn't changed them I can't be sure.

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 19/09/2014 14:54

I know loads of teenage boys.

I have them too.

From what my son has said and told me about the majority of them are looking at porn. My son first viewed porn on someone's iPod in the playground.

So yes, I think the majority of teen boys are going to look at it, even if it's just once.

My 15 and 13 year old knows that I will check their iPods whenever I feel I have a reason to. It was a part of the agreement. I don't look for porn , just instant messages and only then it was when I expected inappropriate behaviour going on which there was.

I know they have viewed porn and no doubt will do so again. We have discussed it, the realities of it etc and I am very against porn full stop. I hate how they can easy access it but know if it isn't on their phone they can do it on their friends and there is very little I can do to protect them from it, which frightens me.

Bambambini · 19/09/2014 14:55

I was worried about the porn aspect until the recent beheadings when I realised that many kids are watching executions and such on their phones as well. So know it's porn, Internet bullying, execution videos - we had nothing like this when I was young. Now my son has a phone and is at high school, it really worries me.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 19/09/2014 14:56

Yes, you're being naïve, sorry.

Explored · 19/09/2014 14:56

I think about this a lot.

He's not allowed his phone in his bedroom, so if he is doing it will (mostly) be downstairs where I could walk I at any minute or on the school bus etc. Would that restrict him? I have often thought about checking but like PP, unsure what's to be achieved from that.

I hadn't thought about the possibility of him looking at illegal porn though Blush

PenisesAreNotPink · 19/09/2014 14:58

As long as when you set them you used the pin he doesn't know he can't change them.

For me it's not about assuming he'd search for it. (Though of course the statistics say he would as so many have viewed it) but is trying to prevent it.

There's always going to be some kid with no controls who passes it round

Original poster
bellarations · 19/09/2014 15:01

Agreed U2.
I'm very anti and ignoring the issue if it's occurred (ing) seems wrong, but, what can I do? It's so easily available.
Perhaps I sit down and discuss it, highlighting what PENIS said, about it being a family internet and us being responsible for the content. I'm squirming just thinking about it, I have no idea how to deal with this at all.

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 19/09/2014 15:04

But dont all teen boys look at porn? Before smartphones it was videos and magazines...... teens look at porn.

Maybe just talk tk him about overall online safety - not clicking on pop ups, no entering personal details, no clicking on anything that has "young/teen/schoolgirl" on it, and that once youve seen something it is impossible to un-see it, so to exert caution over what phrases he searches for or videos he clicks on?

Original poster
bellarations · 19/09/2014 15:04

Actually EXPLORED he was very cagey a few nights ago when I took his phone away. I think that's a valid point, no phone in bedroom at night.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 19/09/2014 15:09

From the bits and pieces I see and hear from nephews, neices and their friends pretty much all teenagers (both sexes) use their phones to either download or share pornographic images. Quite a few make and share their own too. It worries me and my children aren't teens yet Sad

Bulbasaur · 19/09/2014 15:19

You have more need to worry about him sexting and sending dickpics than porn.

I was a girl and we were looking at porn when the internet first came out too out of curiosity. I think we should assume that the time for not being exposed to porn has passed.

However, now is a good time to talk to him about enthusiastic consent, how porn isn't real sex, and using protection.

Bambambini · 19/09/2014 15:22

There's a big difference between the old style magazine porn and the stuff that pops up on the net as soon as you type " porn".

GiveTwoSheets · 19/09/2014 15:27

You can contact mobile provider and have parental lock put on so unable to view sites restricted to over 18.

Also check with your home Internet provider as I know with virgin you can put restrictions on devices I recently learnt that I could even put time lock on my DD devices when she can access Internet, at 17 she didn't find my new found knowledge funny

AgaPanthers · 19/09/2014 15:28

yes, 20 years ago you would have got a picture of a lady with big breasts out of a magazine, now it's video of women being raped, double penetrations, bestiality, child pornography and all the rest

KnackeredMuchly · 19/09/2014 15:30

The pornographic selfies is a great point. Teenagers today need to know about the legalities of making and sharing pictures of under 18s. They could get into serious trouble as it is child pornography.

Bulbasaur · 19/09/2014 15:35

yes, 20 years ago you would have got a picture of a lady with big breasts out of a magazine, now it's video of women being raped, double penetrations, bestiality, child pornography and all the rest

Actually, the mainstream stuff is usually two (or more) consenting adults going at it. You have to go out of your way to search for fetish subsets of porn.

WorraLiberty · 19/09/2014 15:37

It's not just boys though

A quick google shows a rising number of teenage girls viewing porn too

AgaPanthers · 19/09/2014 15:42

Actually the most popular site in the world is xvideos, I had a quick look at some the video titles on there:

"Bound blonde is walked like a dog then fucked"
"Gang bang orgy with a blonde Pregnant Russian"
"Sis wants her brother's man-meat"
"Sleep assault"
"Petite Asian lolita gets fucked"

Not exactly what I would call mainstream. And I'm not sure 'usually consenting adults' is very reassuring. There are non-consenting adults, and there are children on there. Doesn't seem to be any bestiality, but I'm sure some slips through the net.

HeySoulSister · 19/09/2014 15:48

It's not just phones!

Beware of xbox too.... Ds managed to access something dodgy from the wifi on xbox

So that's banned for now

ILoveTurnips · 19/09/2014 16:24

I'm a bit shocked when parents don't bother having any parental restrictions on younger teens phones Confused. There are some truely disgusting and disturbing images out there. Most parents wouldn't leave a pile of 'extreme' violent pornagraphic magazines in my teens bedroom in the 'hope' they wouldn't look at them but are happy for them to have free access to similar stuff online.

I would never risk the remotest possibility that my child might be exposed to this type of thing. What if they accidentally saw some child pornography?? It doesn't bear thinking about. Even if you have the most angelic child in the world you still have to prevent them unintentionally seeing awful things. I once made the innocent mistake of looking up 'tongue thrust' in a dental health sort of way..... Shock Shock Well, I won't be doing that again.

As a PP mentioned the easiest thing to do is to get 18+ stuff blocked by you mobile provider.

I also like the parental restrictions available on IPhones and other ios devices. It's really simple to set up and can be tailored to your child. You need to set up restrictions - which is extremely easy. My favourite feature is the following. (For ios7)

PREVENTING CHILDREN FROM BEING ABLE TO DELETE THEIR BROWSING HISTORY .

SETTINGS >>>> GENERAL. >>> RESTRICTIONS >>> your private PIN NUMBER that your child DOESNT know >>>> WEBSITES >>> then tick LIMIT ADULT CONTENT

This removes the option to delete the history of which websites your child has visited. You can also add in rating restrictions for other types of media eg youtube etc.

I imagine other phones have similar ways of setting up parental restrictions.

Or you can just not bother.....

AgaPanthers · 19/09/2014 16:26

the mobile providers' filters are dangerous given that they don't block everything and you can get round them.

ILoveTurnips · 19/09/2014 16:29

I wouldn't rely just on the mobile phone providers blocks but i think you might as well have them as another layer of defence.

Making it impossible for your child to delete their browsing history is really effective.

HeySoulSister · 19/09/2014 16:33

ilove you can only prevent it in your own home. Once they start with sleepovers etc you lose all control...