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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

upset seeing mum and toddler group at library

36 replies

jammyjamjam · 18/09/2014 19:22

Went to the library today to collect a book and there was a mums and toddler session going on, all were singing 'the wheels on the bus...'. Haven't sang that in ages, I have 3 dcs, youngest is 10 and I got so sentimental I nearly started crying. I was really choked up and had to leave pretty quickly. I'm a SAHM(looking for work!) and tbh the best years of my life were when my kids were little, I had the best social life then and although I was knackered, I had so many friends and such an active life. I was really sad and a teeny bit jealous of all those mums....aibu?

OP posts:
0898 · 18/09/2014 19:24

YANBU. But you might have your rose-tinted specs on Wink

Trollsworth · 18/09/2014 19:24

Consider being a child minder!

Fairylea · 18/09/2014 19:26

I had another one for those sorts of reasons - 10 year age gap. And now I am permanently knackered Grin ... its lovely when they are little but my god it is absolutely exhausting and very stressful. Having reminded myself of that, this one is definitely the last one for me!

LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 18/09/2014 19:28

YANBU to be jealous, but I bet you got to go home and sit in peace with a cuppa!

anothervisittothepark · 18/09/2014 19:34

Yanbu. This will be me in 5 years i am sure

Original poster
jammyjamjam · 18/09/2014 19:34

Better than going home, I popped into Costa and had a lovely latte in peace!!! Rose tinted specs and all that, yes probably but they were the best years for me and I'll never have them back. Still can't believe I was actually choked..

OP posts:
Original poster
jammyjamjam · 18/09/2014 19:37

Faitylea..you're brave! I couldn't cope with another one, but I'd love to rewind and go back to those days

OP posts:
IHeartLockhart · 18/09/2014 19:39

Yanbu, think I'll be feeling the same in 10 years! Sometimes I feel so sad that DS is my last baby, I just want to stop time and have it last forever.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 18/09/2014 19:42

My ds is a toddler and I can't visit those classes as he hates them and just tries to leave :( I have no social life apart from a couple of friends as I spend every day in the park as that's what he likes.
Wish I was enjoying it as much as you did. I reckon I'll do better as a m of older kids, I hope.

SunshineOutdoors · 18/09/2014 19:42

Ah, lovely post thanks Thanks

I have a three year old and one year old and sometimes need reminding that it will all be gone in a blink of an eye and then I'll miss it.

I bet there's all sorts of fabulous times as they keep growing older though. Give it a few years and you'll be reminiscing about now, too.

Agree with poster who said childminding if you really loved it though, I bet you'd make a great one

minipie · 18/09/2014 19:43

Not YABU exactly but agree about the rose tinted specs.

I bet at least a couple of those mothers would love to be in your shoes - kids all sleeping through, time to yourself while they're at school, not having to wipe noses/bums/high chairs all day, not having to sing the wheels on the sodding bus...

Grass is always greener eh Wink

ithoughtofitfirst · 18/09/2014 19:46

Awww OP !! that made me cry. Brew

Icelollycraving · 18/09/2014 19:46

Yanbu. I struggle a bit with toddler groups tbh,just find the mum cliques hard. When we moved to a nice area,I thought I'd love the sahm role but it's hard. I started a job full time this week & ds is at preschool. I missed him so much today,I went to the loo & watched a video of him
Killer. :(

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 18/09/2014 19:52

I am right in it atm, with a 4 and 1 year old, and I feel desperate at the thought of this wonderful time ending. I read so much about how crap parenting is, how hard, how relentless, and it just feels so alien to me. It is bloody lovely, and feel so sad at the thought of this baby stage coming to an end.

HaroldLloyd · 18/09/2014 19:54

I just know I am going to feel like this at some point, I feel weepy already looking back and mine are one and three.

But it's soooooo hard right now. I want time to freeze some days and other days i want to fast forward!

FindoGask · 18/09/2014 19:58

Not unreasonable no - but I think it's sad you believe the best years of your life are behind you. That's the kind of thinking behind self-fufilling prophecies.

LadyWithLapdog · 18/09/2014 19:59

Icelollycraving Flowers

Icelollycraving · 18/09/2014 20:04

Thank you lady. I am finding this harder than going back after mat leave. He's now 3 & the combination of learning a new job & missing him is a bit hard.

LittlePeasMummy1 · 18/09/2014 20:07

My LO is not even 2 and I already go all misty eyed at the thought of the baby stuff. For me it's the 'no more babies' thing (we can't have any more) and I doubt it will ever go away, but I often have to remind myself to enjoy the moment instead of thinking about the past because this time next year she'll be even more grown up

FrancesNiadova · 18/09/2014 20:08

Sniffffff! YADNBU, my youngest is 12 now! Thanks

MiaowTheCat · 18/09/2014 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairylea · 18/09/2014 20:18
lem73 · 18/09/2014 20:23

I'm in your boots and I react just like you in those situations. I loved being with my kids and although I'm struggling to get a job because of a patchy cv I have great memories and I hope they do too. However I do like being able to finish a cup of tea uninterrupted now!

HavanaSlife · 18/09/2014 20:33

I did it more than once, 8 years between ds1&2 then 8 years between 2&3 im knackered Grin

Artus · 18/09/2014 20:45

I am getting to go a second time around, with my grandchild - there are quite a lot of grandparents at the library we go to. Being a grandparent is giving me the chance to do the best bits of the baby years again!