Would you be happy with this babysitter?

[AtlantisMonkey]

I have a 2 yo and live a long distance away from family other than my sister. We have a big event coming up in the next couple of weeks, sister and all our friends attending so had no babysitter. Friends recommended a babysitter they use frequently, 22 years old, mature, friendly, lovely girl. Thought I was all sorted.

Mentioned to another friend as they know her boyfriend and they told me about a recent encounter with her bf. He was in a bar 'off his head' and was telling them how much cocaine he's been snorting recently. "Can't get enough of it" he says.

He won't be with her while she's babysitting, he'll actually be at the same function I'm going to. AIBU to cancel her? I don't know if she even knows about his drug taking but on the other hand I don't know if she also "can't get enough of it" when she's out. She has a full time job working with children and obviously won't be doing anything illegal while babysitting but it's making me uncomfortable. I'm leaning towards cancelling going to the event and also telling the friends who recommended her (I'm going to tell them either way so they can make their own minds up). Or am I being pfb seeing as her boyfriend won't be near my house?

To put in perspective, I'd much rather leave my boys with a great babysitter who I knew had the occasional line of coke but who will be totally sober while babyitting, than leave them with DMIL who is likely to have 3 or 4 glasses of wine while babysitting.

If you - and DC - were comfortable when you met her, it would be absurd to cancel on the basis of gossip about someone who won't be there

It's her boyfriend not her. She works with children through the day and babysits for a bit of extra money at night. Cancel her if you want BUT don't spread malicious gossip regarding her and her bfs possible drug use to your 'friends'. You could jeopardise her career.

Cancel her. You clearly feel unable to leave your baby with a kind, mature, respected and recommended babysitter who you and your child have met and liked. You're not ready for a night out.

What I find awful is that instead of admitting that to yourself and your friends - and it is perfectly ok to not want to leave your DCs with babysitters - you have come up with a non-reason based on hearsay and are further planning to spread that gossip third hand to ruin her reputation. That wouldn't be kind, mature, respected or recommended unlike this babysitter. It would be vicious, immature and unforgivable.

Cancel if you want. But don't spread gossip among your friends. That's disgusting behaviour.

You're going to an event he'll also be attending. So you socialise with drug users. I hope your boss doesn't find out.

Let's hope your kids don't take drugs when they grow up eh?.

mrsboldon or, god forbid, her kids even associate with somebody who takes drugs. That apparently gives others the right to just go ahead and shit all over them, even if they're lovely, friendly and mature!

OP - I really hope you have reconsidered this morning, and can see how ridiculous this is.