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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think I wasnt being rude?

43 replies

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 19:41

I am in Starbucks working on my postgrad course. I am in proper work later, so I get the babysitter to come early so I can squeeze some work in without children.
I appreciate that its not a library, but it has wifi and coffee, and is the only place open this time of the evening.
Its busy and I was sat at a single table in the corner, obviously working.
A man and little boy come and squeeze in to the single table next to me, still fine, he is then joined by 2 women, and then another man, so 4 adults and a child at a small table. They are crowding my table, in fact the 2nd man has come and sat at the chair opposite me, and put his coffee next to my precious computer full of work stuff, MY table. Without asking.
They are talking very loudly (not in english) and the little boy is vigourously kicking the table, making the whole side rock and the other mans coffee rock precariously close to my work. They still havent acknowledged that they have completely impinged on my space.
I pack up ALL my stuff, notes bag computer coffee, and move to the high stools to work, uncomfortable.
As I walk off, they start talking loudly about me (yes I understand a bit of their language) and how rude I was.
How rude I was, FFS, they were beyond rude, I just moved without saying a word. I am not unreasonable, am I??

OP posts:
SugarSkully · 17/09/2014 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 17/09/2014 19:44

They were rude.

LiverpoolLou · 17/09/2014 19:48

Where were they from?

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 19:48

They also said (I think) some less than flattering comments about my size and dress Angry They were arses weren't they. I know IANBU, am just posting for a rant and sympathy!

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macdoodle · 17/09/2014 19:49

They were speaking Polish.

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MrsWinnibago · 17/09/2014 19:51

Why does it matter where they're from Liverpool?

OP you weren't rude they were. I work at home in another room when DH is looking after dc could you do that? I wear earplugs lol.

Scrounger · 17/09/2014 19:52

Ooh can you say 'Goodbye' or 'enjoy your coffees' in Polish just as you are leaving?

Yes, they were being rude.

aprilanne · 17/09/2014 19:53

they were being a pain but technically you only get one seat and half the table .they do this if our local mcdonalds is busy .they just plonk random stranger next to you .no need to be rude about your size or clothing right enough .

SarcyMare · 17/09/2014 19:53

Sorry it's a full coffee shop not an office/library, they were rude but you were expecting too much

HaroldLloyd · 17/09/2014 19:54

If a cafe is busy and you are only sitting in one seat at a table, I think you have to expect to allow someone to sit on the spare seat.

SaucyJack · 17/09/2014 19:55

How very strange (not that I disbelieve you btw)

Were you supposed to just put up and shut up?

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 19:55

My Polish isnt great, not conversational, I can understand bits. I could certainly say goodbye! But really cant be bothered to get into an argument, they dont seem very nice.
I work in Starbucks every single week this time for a few hours and have never had an issue before. There's usually a few of us working away.
Cant stay at home, no DH, babysitter would never be able to keep DD2 away from me!
And I enjoy my coffee and cake.

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HaroldLloyd · 17/09/2014 19:56

They shouldn't have made all those personal comments.

But I would expect to share a table, does sound like they were rude in the way they went about it though.

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 19:58

It was strange I agree! And all true!
I have no problem with him having the chair, but he didnt have to put his coffee next to my laptop, they had a table. Its hard to describe but they really were almost crowding around me. Not sharing the table.
And not even a "do you mind" or a questioning look or smile. They were unpleasant and very loud, even for a coffee shop.
Am almost finishing a 2 year course, and have worked almost every wed night, in this coffee shop. First such issue.

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HaroldLloyd · 17/09/2014 20:00

Were they taking over in he he hopes you would move?

Because sharing a table is one thing but that's not.

I always say do you mind if I sit here and then sit nicely and behave myself. Starbucks and Maccy D are the type of place I would expect to get someone sit with me if it's busy, it's a quick turnaround type place.

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 20:02

Yes I think they were hoping I would move. It kills my back to sit at the stools which is why I was sat at a table. I am here 2 hours and buy 2 coffees, I think I've paid for my half of the table!

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Bin50 · 17/09/2014 20:03

um...you bought a coffee, not a table and 2 chairs. Just because you're there every week doesn't mean you have any greater a claim on the other chair (and half the table). And why should they all be crowded round one small table when there was space at yours?

If, as you're suggesting, they were foreigners have you considered cultural differences? As in the man who sat at your table without asking your permission may not have realised you would have considered it to be rude.

Incidentally, what would you have said if he had asked first?

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 20:04

I would have said fine, obviously. Its hard to describe without seeing the layout, they were taking over far more than "half the table", and way impinging on my personal space.

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Viviennemary · 17/09/2014 20:04

Yes they were rude. But Starbucks isn't an office.

TSSDNCOP · 17/09/2014 20:04

It's not like she was hogging a table for 4 though is it? I'd have paid good money to hear you say something to them in whichever language they were using. And to have "bumped" one of the coffees with your arse on they way past.

HaroldLloyd · 17/09/2014 20:05

In that case I am going YANBU.

And anyway unless you did something awful like a trump at the table to make those personal comments is totally uncalled for.

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 20:06

And I moved anyway, not in a huff just quickly. No need for "fat cow", "stupid white trousers", or something along those line Blush
They were a lot younger, but are there cultures where its ok to be rude to people Confused

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SaucyJack · 17/09/2014 20:06

She didn't tell them to move bin

She moved herself. She was doing them a favour tbh. Only a complete (and insane) prick would be calling her the rude one.

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 20:07

They've gone now, so too late to say something, I dont think they would have cared though.

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macdoodle · 17/09/2014 20:08

Right and now I am going to actually work Grin
Love the diversity of MN, where someone will always try and justify the opposite view.

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