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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think I wasnt being rude?

43 replies

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 19:41

I am in Starbucks working on my postgrad course. I am in proper work later, so I get the babysitter to come early so I can squeeze some work in without children.
I appreciate that its not a library, but it has wifi and coffee, and is the only place open this time of the evening.
Its busy and I was sat at a single table in the corner, obviously working.
A man and little boy come and squeeze in to the single table next to me, still fine, he is then joined by 2 women, and then another man, so 4 adults and a child at a small table. They are crowding my table, in fact the 2nd man has come and sat at the chair opposite me, and put his coffee next to my precious computer full of work stuff, MY table. Without asking.
They are talking very loudly (not in english) and the little boy is vigourously kicking the table, making the whole side rock and the other mans coffee rock precariously close to my work. They still havent acknowledged that they have completely impinged on my space.
I pack up ALL my stuff, notes bag computer coffee, and move to the high stools to work, uncomfortable.
As I walk off, they start talking loudly about me (yes I understand a bit of their language) and how rude I was.
How rude I was, FFS, they were beyond rude, I just moved without saying a word. I am not unreasonable, am I??

OP posts:
Bin50 · 17/09/2014 20:18

I know she didn't tell them to move, and I wasn't suggesting that she was the rude one. Nor was I suggesting that calling someone names (even in a different language) is acceptable. But being annoyed at someone sitting on an available chair is unreasonable in my opinion.

And I would say that by moving away all the OP has done is rewarded them for their behaviour.

handcream · 17/09/2014 20:19

I was in Jamie Oliver's in Westfield on my own one Sat lunchtime with a newspaper. They are often over run with kids even though it's not particularly cheap.

The couple who sat beside me on their table of four didn't know where to put their manky buggy so they decided to move the chair opposite me and put the buggy in its place. It was covered in dried on food and was putting me right off my own lunch.

I said I was waiting for someone as he didn't even ask before he did it - he just assumed.

I wasn't waiting for someone....

Sparklypants · 17/09/2014 20:40

I think it sounds rude and a bit aggressive.

Penguinator · 17/09/2014 21:25

YANBU at all to think they were very rude. Not sure it's a fair assumption that their lack of manners was down to their culture though... plenty of extremely rude Brits around to disprove this!

macdoodle · 17/09/2014 23:01

I didnt think it was their culture at all, someone else mentioned that as a way to "explain/excuse" their behaviour. I think they were just rude fucks, no matter where they were from. I only mentioned the language, as I actually think its even more rude to insult someone in a language that you assume they dont understand, so you think you can say it loudly and laugh and they wont know. Rude and immature. Brits or otherwise.
Not really aggressive but definitely passive aggressive. I didnt feel threatened especially but I certainly didnt feel comfortable.

OP posts:
LiverpoolLou · 18/09/2014 17:02

Why does it matter where they're from Liverpool?

Because in some countries eg where I live, taking free seats the way they did would be perfectly normal. As the OP said they were foreign I wondered if it was a cultural difference rather than rudeness.

firesidechat · 18/09/2014 17:15

they were being a pain but technically you only get one seat and half the table .

What? Sorry? When did this rule come in?

They were very rude op.

maninawomansworld · 19/09/2014 16:41

I wouldn't have got up and moved, I'd have told the man to move his drink away from the computer and to stop his DC kicking the table.

pluCaChange · 19/09/2014 18:21

Allowing a table to be kicked, let alone with coffee on it, is rude and dangerous, whether it's a laptop at risk or white trousers!

CromerSutra · 19/09/2014 18:26

You were not rude. Of course it is courteous to ask someone who is sat at a small table if you can share, I always do too. They clearly don't think about anyone other than themselves. Forget them.

Orangeanddemons · 19/09/2014 18:28

Why can't you go to a library to work?

People who hog the seats at Starbuks with their laptops and files drive me mad. It's a coffee shop not an office as someone up thread.

MrsCumbersnatch · 19/09/2014 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

macdoodle · 19/09/2014 18:43

Local library not open at 7pm at night??

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 19/09/2014 19:06

I wonder if those having a go at the OP are the same people that let their children annoy other people in coffee shops.

claig · 19/09/2014 21:16

'They were a lot younger, but are there cultures where its ok to be rude to people'

Agree with the posters who said it is about cultural differences. They weren't being rude intentionally, it didn't occur to them.

It is about space and territory and different cultures have different rules and etiquette about things like that. Some cultures think we are rude and standoffish and we think that of others because each culture has a different set of social etiquette conventions.

I think it would have been solved if you had asked them politely to stop the boy kicking the table due to the computer etc. But when you moved off without explaining why, they probably thought you were rude.

PersonOfInterest · 19/09/2014 21:46

There are some cultures where its ok to plonk your coffee right next to someone (and their laptop) and then allow a child to kick the table they're all on. In these cultures its also ok to call people names in a language they may not understand. only on mumsnet

They were rude.

Monka · 19/09/2014 22:34

Yanbu. I would have sneezed and coughed all over the man. Bet he would have moved his coffee then ;)

kali110 · 20/09/2014 12:13

Rude tossers op. Id have slowly spread my things and fat arse over the seat and table...

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