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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be offended that my husband has hidden me on facebook?..

90 replies

Nanc123 · 16/09/2014 23:14

apparently im too political (I dont post every day) he casually mentioned it as if i have no right to be offended .... and as i only hide people i never see or irritate me i am offended .....would you be?

OP posts:
TheRealAmandaClarke · 17/09/2014 03:59

Yanbu.
Its rude of him. Like "shushing" you.

hellodownhilldepressionfuckoff · 17/09/2014 04:16

EXP worked long hours, so any posts that I made of DS I would tag him in.

I also have blocked his news feed because he plays games on facebook and that is all I get. If he does a status I get a notification

daisychain01 · 17/09/2014 05:36

Ive unfriended myself on Fb that's how much I hate the bloody pointless thing.

Your
Mrs Victor Meldrew

TeaAndALemonTart · 17/09/2014 05:50

Maybe all your friends have hidden you and he's the only one who's actually told you?

musicalendorphins2 · 17/09/2014 06:32

Just don't send those post to him, you can use the customize feature and send to people who are interested in politics.

Noodledoodledoo · 17/09/2014 06:40

I hide people due to what they post - I don't defriend them as I like keeping in touch but I switch them off for a while!

  • political rantings
  • moral rantings
  • over kill on the children - I have one friend who is using her FB page as a diary of her babies first year - lovely and cute etc but 25+ photos a day was getting a little annoying!
  • sharing pages for competition entries - I have one friend who is seriously into competitions and shares about 10 pages a day
  • I did defriend an aquantaince once who posted a picture of her baby bump everyday as well - along with a daily update of what baby was supposed to have done in the last 24 hours - really didn't appreciate seeing a naked belly daily!

I am quite tough on keeping my friends to proper friends so the more prolific posters seem to filter through more often!

Thumbwitch · 17/09/2014 06:46

I had to hide my own sister. I didn't want to but she was playing some stupid Bingo game and I could NOT switch off the notifications for it, there was no facility to do so (like there is for most other games/apps on FB). Her notifications were clogging up my notification box (I was getting 2-3 x as many as usual) and it was seriously ticking me off so I hid her.

I did tell her though.

Methe · 17/09/2014 07:17

I hid Dh for years as his fb used as a promotional tool for his work and I don't give a shit about any of it.

OwlCapone · 17/09/2014 07:20

I would hide you too if you kept posting political stuff. I think I would take it as a hint that not everyone likes to see political stuff cluttering up their news feed and prefers it to be fluffy social guff.

Delphiniumsblue · 17/09/2014 07:24

I can see why- I have friends who I like very much but they post too much about things that don't interest me and it clutters my timeline.

FloozeyLoozey · 17/09/2014 07:24

I would be hurt too op and I think it's weird if a couple weren't friends on Facebook. I also enjoy reading political and news posts. More relevant and important than what someone's had for tea.

differentnameforthis · 17/09/2014 07:25

Facebook + couples = rows.

Nope. Why would we row about facebook? We have nothing to hide.

The reason my dh is on my fb is that we have a lot of mutual friends in the UK & with us all on there, we can talk together & I am not saying 'dh, do you want to see what x posted/x said this that & the other'

I don't understand why people think it is odd or wrong to have your spouse/partner on fb. I think it is more odd not to, to be honest.

differentnameforthis · 17/09/2014 07:30

I have a really good friend on fb, I hid him because I was fed up of seeing pics of his dinner.

Every now & then, I pop onto his page & see if he has posted anything relevant, or whatever & comment.

differentnameforthis · 17/09/2014 07:35

If Dp finds something interesting or reads something good or goes somewhere that he has enjoyed we do this crazy thing called talking to each other in person!

So facebook means couples don't talk does it? Bollocks. Dh & I talk, but we also join in convos with friends/family in the UK.

It was also a God send when he was in Vegas a while ago as he was able to chat via fb, as for all intents & purposes, it was free (free wifi in his room) where as phoning was extortionate.

Itsfab · 17/09/2014 07:43

Sounds like your friend is up herself if it was "fun" when she found out your husband had defriended her Hmm.

youmakemydreams · 17/09/2014 07:47

Why was your friend annoyed he defriended her? Hmm
She's your best friend not his. I have a few of dp's friends on Facebook. They added me. I wouldn't have added them because I try not to have ransoms on Facebook and regularly delete people I don't talk to regularly. I deleted exsil and that caused a shit storm with ex mil but it's my Facebook. I have people I can trust and she was using my page and friends as gossip fodder. I just don't see Facebook as that big a deal. It helps me stay in touch with people I don't see much.

I hid dp the other week and told him I was doing it. He hasn't posted masses but enough to piss me off about the referendum. I've hidden a few people for the same reason.
He wasn't remotely annoyed.

TheHorseHasBolted · 17/09/2014 07:59

YANBU but neither is he. He has a right to hide stuff that bores him or fills up his page so much he can't see more important news, but I can understand why it upsets you. If you are sharing stuff from other sites, maybe he could hide all material from those sites, rather than hide everything from you. Or could you tweak who you are sharing with, so that he is excluded from seeing the political posts, but not your "personal" statuses?

The only person I have ever put on "important statuses only" was an online friend who posts a constant stream of political re-shares, most of them quite irrelevant to me (she's in another country and I have never even heard of some of the politicians mentioned) and quite right-wing, which is not my style. Unfortunately FB seems to think "important statuses only" basically means only if someone gets married or similar. I wish there was a way of tweaking it so I could see all of her own original posts but not re-shares.

Oh, and I think it's quite normal for married couples to be FB friends. Apart from anything else, I don't think you can show yourselves as married to each other or in a relationship with each other unless you are friends. But it makes sense anyway, there might be times when one of you is away from home and it's a convenient way of communicating, or you just want to tag each other in photos.

WooWooOwl · 17/09/2014 08:04

This thread is weird.

Why would you be offended just because your husband doesn't want to see the stuff you post on his Facebook? If you're posting political stuff, it's not like he's ignoring personal things about you that you choose to post, and presumably he already knows your political views?

I can't stand political posts on FB, that's just not what I enjoy using it for, but it doesn't mean I don't like some people who choose to use FB to push their politics on others. There's nothing to be offended about, so if you're going to be upset about your posts being hidden, you can't expect everyone else to see that as reasonable.

MyFairyKing · 17/09/2014 08:19

You are placing far too much importance on facebook.

Notsoyummymummy1 · 17/09/2014 20:28

Hide from him in real life - I feel this would make the point. I find behind the sofa is often a good start.

5madthings · 17/09/2014 20:36

I'm not even friends with dp on fb, it's my space I use for keeping in touch with friends and family. Sharing stuff I want to share, the odd rant or link or whatever. Dp wouldn't be interested in some of the stuff I post.

We don't need to be friends online. I know others who aren't friends with their partners/husband's online and have friends who are. Whatever works but it's not something to be offended by.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla · 19/09/2014 13:49

How does fb cause rows? I have dp on facebook and everything's dandy. the only ex he has on fb is the one he was with when he was 13... hardly classed as an ex, right? He's on my favourites too, never caused a row, i really do not care.

WowserBowser · 19/09/2014 13:57

MN has bizarre notions on FB.

I am friends with dh on FB because i find him interesting.

Yes, in real life too.

He doesn't tell me every thought he has or every article he has read etc. Some of you must do a LOT of talking Grin

manicinsomniac · 19/09/2014 14:13

I'm single but I don't know any married couple who don't have each other on fb (apart from those who don't have it at all that is). I don't find it odd that some don't but I do think it's unusual.

I don't think I'd be bothered by the hiding but don't think YABU either - if you're upset you're upset and he should be nice to you about it.

I do have a couple of couples on my fb who share an account - now I do think that's weird - I'm never quite sure who I'm talking to!

WowserBowser · 19/09/2014 14:19

Oh yes, that's bleugh! 'JanNSteve Ness' or whatever.

It makes me think the man must be a raging cheater.