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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To change my 20 month old Ds' name?

53 replies

HonoraryOctonaut · 15/09/2014 11:22

He's recently had all his teeth on the too row removed except for his two canines.

His name starts with a 'sh' sound and he's likey to have quite a bad lisp and need speech therapy. It seems like a good idea right now to just officially change his name and avoid him not being able to say it. It's hard enough have a speech problem I think without struggling to say your own name.

He knows his name and responds to it, it's a lovely name and it suits him. And I haven't thought of an alternative name yet either. His middle name is no good for the same reasons as his first name.

OP posts:

Artandco · 15/09/2014 11:30

It's fine to change it IMO, although you will have certain amount of paperwork as he's over 1 year.

Is there a similar name? Ie if Theo and the th a problem, change to say Leo/ Leon/ Neo. Or that vibe

scarletforya · 15/09/2014 11:32

Aw, the poor babe.

Will his adult teeth come in at seven?

If so, I wouldn't change it.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 15/09/2014 11:34

Ummmm no, that's insane. You don't know what speech therapy will achieve. If he has trouble in the future then maybe try an easier nickname but actually changing his name because he has a lisp at under 2 is way out of proportion.

smokeandglitter · 15/09/2014 11:38

I wouldn't.

Original poster

HonoraryOctonaut · 15/09/2014 11:40

Hopefully his second teeth should come in fine, although he has had a lot of the gum cut away and the doctors aren't sure whether they will be enough to support adult teeth. Fingers crossed they will be.

There's no similar or rhyming name (that I can think of) and no shortening or nickname that doesn't start with a 'sh' sound either.

We don't know that he will have a lisp yet but he's still non verbal at the moment (under a referal for autism and gdd) so I do think he will have some speech problems regardless of his teeth.

OP posts:

jellybelly701 · 15/09/2014 11:41

What about his adult teeth? If the lack of teeth is causing a lisp then wouldn't this be corrected when his big teeth come through?

If he is only likely to have a lisp and need speech therapy then I personally would wait and see how this plays out first. He knows his name and responds to it, for this reason alone I would hold off on changing it until his big teeth have come through or you have at least tried ST.

Catsize · 15/09/2014 11:45

Please don't. What message does it send out? 'You know that lisp you have Ben? Well, we were so ashamed and embarrassed by it that we thought you would be too, so that's why your birth certificate etc. say Steven, but we changed your name to hide the shame. IF he ends up with a lisp, give him to confidence to deal with it.

aNoteToFollowSo · 15/09/2014 11:47

Can you find a suitable nickname till he can say his name? Of course you want to help him deal with his lisp but it does seem bad luck to have a name that he can't pronounce.

jellybelly701 · 15/09/2014 11:48

Well if you don't know whether he will even have a lisp then I think YABU. In my opinion changing your Childs name should be your resort once you have tried all available speech therapy. It certainly shouldn't be your first option before you actually know whether he even has a lisp or not.

Original poster

HonoraryOctonaut · 15/09/2014 12:07

It wouldn't be because I was ashamed or embarrassed of him, more because I know he's going to have an up hill struggle anyway and want to make his life a little bit easier (possibly because I can't help or change anything else and it's difficult to get my head around that)

I think I chose the worst possible name for a child with speech problems, it starts and ends with the letter S - the ST tells me it's the most difficult letter of the alphabet for children who struggle with speech. Typical

But you are right, he may not even have a lisp, so it's all hypothetical really. Just hoping really that he can talk at all, lisp or no lisp.

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 15/09/2014 12:08

If you think he may have autism or GDD then wouldn't changing his name just confuse him?

I'd hold out and try and come up with a nickname perhaps.

Original poster

HonoraryOctonaut · 15/09/2014 12:12

We call him Mouse

OP posts:

moxon · 15/09/2014 12:14

Seamus? Just guessing, but it's a great name! Maybe it'll actually help focus his speech development if he can practise on his name..? I know very little about speech problems, but do have a friend who struggles with all his R's... except that he can say the R in his name perfectly well! :)

DeWee · 15/09/2014 12:15

I wouldn't at that age. It'll just confuse him.
Also he's very little to worry about his speech never improving. Dd1 had a slightly complicated name that she couldn't say at that age(despite being a good talker). Sounded like "Ishoo" when she said it, and it's nothing like. At 22 months she suddenly got it and said it perfectly.

Original poster

HonoraryOctonaut · 15/09/2014 12:23

It is Séamus. And it does suit him although he looks like Draco Malfoy as a vampire at the moment

OP posts:

Thomyorke · 15/09/2014 12:24

I have no idea why but my family tend to have a habit of just using different names, my mum was Mary but was always called Mo, my aunt Theresa is really Ellen and my brother is Tom but known as Billy and a cousin who I cannot remember his real name but everyone calls him James for his love of Thomas the tank engine as a child. There are other options. You do not need to decide now.

moxon · 15/09/2014 12:36

Stick with it. Draco or possible lisp or not.

Original poster

HonoraryOctonaut · 15/09/2014 12:39

Thinking about it I do like the name Draco.... And Severus but we come back to the S' again. Such a shame

OP posts:

MamaPain · 15/09/2014 12:40

I would give him an additional middle name, by deed poll. That way if he doesn't have issues he can use his original name and still answer to it but he can then have an alternative name should he have problems.

Using middle names is very common practice and would involve much less faff.

If he does come to use the additional name as his first name you can get it officially changed in future.

Seems a shame to get rid of his original name that he knows.

TryingNotToLaugh · 15/09/2014 12:42

Surely even if he doesn't have enough gum for his adult teeth, you won't leave him with no teeth at all? Won't he have implants or a bridge or something? And so then might well learn to say 'S'?

Also, I have a lovely niece who's name begins with S. She has a lisp and it's just not an issue.

MrsWinnibago · 15/09/2014 12:46

What Trying says. He will either have his own teeth or replacements...

GreenPetal94 · 15/09/2014 12:49

I wouldn't change his name, he has had enough change recently already. When he is older he might feel sad that his medical procedure had dictated his name.

A temporary nickname might be better if you really feel it matters. But it is ok to speak with a speech impediment. The most successful career man I know has a stutter, it clearly never held him back.

HeeHiles · 15/09/2014 12:51

Isn't Seamus Irish for James? If he has problems later you could just change to English pronunciation?

naty1 · 15/09/2014 12:51

What happened to the teeth?
I would wait and see.

Mrsjayy · 15/09/2014 12:52

Can you shorten it to shay soits similar to his name and he wont have the s at the end

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