To be pissed off that I can't go bed until DD gets home?

[WideAwakeNow]

She is 17 and in her 2nd year at college. Apparently she is too old for a curfew and none of her friends have one but we have comprised on 11pm on college nights and 12 30 on weekends although she doesn't start back at college until Tuesday so doesn't want to come back until 12 30 tonight.

I have 3 DC to get up with in the morning and am knackered so want to go to bed but there is no way I can go up until I know she is safely in. She has a key. I suffer from anxiety anyway so have lots of 'what ifs?' flying around my mind.

How the hell do parents of older teens cope with this? It will be much worse in 3 months when she's able to go clubbing and stay out until 3am! Aaarrrggghhhh! Wish they were all still primary school age!

yabu, she's 17, you don't need to wait up for her, you are choosing to.

I never had a curfew as a teenager, I was expected to tell Mum when i'd be home and not wake anyone or turn the hallway light on when I came in (toddler sister used to wake up when the hallway light went on) in return my mum didn't let the toddlers jump on me until after 8am, If I woke them stumbling in drunk then the noisy toy box was put in the upstairs hallway in the morning, you have never known pain until you've had 3 toddlers play the recorder to you mid-hangover.

it worked fine until I went away for 6 weeks (spent the summer holidays with my boyfriend visiting his family) and my mum forgot to tell me they had got a new rescue dog whilst i was away. I let myself in in silence went to walk into the kitchen and was bounced on by a very large, playful rottie cross, screamed and woke the entire house up.

exexpat, that is a genius idea.

And as the parent of three 17 yo over the last few years, I disagree that they are too old for a curfew. Some rules have to be set to help them achieve a balance between their work and their play. Only this summer I texted 19 yo DD1 at 11pm while she was at a party to remind her that she had an exam the next day. She came home pretty sharpish but still didn't do as well as she ought to have done.

17 is young still.

Most 19 yr olds with exams are living away from home and you haven't a clue what they are doing. ( not sure how I got an apostrophe earlier)

Mine wasn't though. And she needed to do well for her university course. And she was in my view being a bit flip about the one A level she was taking this year. She still got an A* overall despite not doing so well on that particular module.

It's comes with the job description op.

It gets worse when they leave home.

That's my experience anyway.

I would not say 17 is far too old for a curfew. It is not to spoil fun just to be careful. I do agree however it is more dangerous to leave before friends and go home alone. I used to take a very dodgy short cut so I could stay out longer. When I was 16/17 the Yorkshire Ripper was attacking people in our area so nobody stayed out alone! I do worry about 15 year olds roaming the streets at all hours as this is when they can get into trouble .

I don't have a curfew at all at weekends for DC1. They are 17 and the only rule is that I get a text by 11pm to say either, "Back soon", "Will be late" or "Staying at my mate's house". I have always said the same thing to my kids as my own mum said to me, "I will worry about you when you're out regardless, but that's my problem not yours."

That said, school nights they have to be in before 1130. That's because I have 3 younger kids that also need to get to school the next day, and all 4 of them have to leave between 630 and 7.20am.