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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really not be arsed with housework anymore = lazy according to DH.

42 replies

WideAwakeNow · 14/09/2014 17:53

I have always been completely anal about keeping the house and DCs clean in my 18 years as a parent in that a bottle of bleach used to be my best friend (not used on DCs of course). Now 4 DC later I have reached burnout as I know it a complete waste of time and it is not appreciated by anyone.

House is reasonable in that floors are hoovered every few days, swept in between where visible mess is, and are mopped once a week (downstairs is wooden flooring), loos are unstained and kitchen cleaned and washing up finished before I go to bed. DC also wear completely clean clothes every day with clean sheets are on the beds weekly. I admit to having dumped baskets of clean washing in the wardrobes in the bedrooms and they are ironed as they are worn. I do sometimes not put on a wash on a few days but there are enough clean clothes to go round usually.

Youngest DC started school this week and I want to chill for a bit before I hit the rat race working again, last worked 4 years ago.

Today DH was unhappy as he was down to last pair of clean boxers and his white socks were grey underneath which he blamed on me not mopping enough. He very rarely does anything except load the dishwasher.

WIBU to tell him to fuck off and wash his own pants and remind him where the mop is?

OP posts:
iklboo · 14/09/2014 17:55

Tell him he's welcome to do it himself if he can get his head out of his @rse for long enough.

gordyslovesheep · 14/09/2014 17:56

no you are not being unreasonable at all!

usualsuspect333 · 14/09/2014 17:57

YANBU.

Tell him to clean the floor with his socks if he's that bothered.

picnicbasketcase · 14/09/2014 17:57

Tell him to start mopping the floors himself or to fuck off and buy some black socks.

usualsuspect333 · 14/09/2014 17:57

Or buy himself some black socks

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 14/09/2014 17:57

Everyone needs some down time sometimes.

Unless your DH is doing a 70 hour week and you have been an 18yo S@H then he should be pitching in a little. (No idea how anyone would get down to a last pair of boxers though, my lot must have at least 14 pair each)

Weathergames · 14/09/2014 17:59

Ah hmmm a frequent "discussion" here. OH is in the military and lives away in the week - he has a cabin with an en suite and he has a cleaner.

I work full time, have 3 teenagers and 3 DSC every other weekend.

He constantly nitpicks about what I haven't done/not to his standards blah blah.

I have told him to pay for a cleaner :)

YANBU

Fairylea · 14/09/2014 17:59

He had pants and socks, what's the problem? Buy black socks. Tell him to shut the fuck up and do it himself.

seasavage · 14/09/2014 18:03

Leave the phone numbers for the cleaners in his pants/ socks drawer

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 14/09/2014 18:05

If you normally do the washing for someone who is working outside the home, it's only fair to mention that you are not putting a wash on for a few days so they get a chance to do it.

On the rest, YANBU.

hoobypickypicky · 14/09/2014 18:05

Why the eff are you washing his clothing? Seriously? Is he incapable in some way?

Why the eff are you letting him speak to you like this? Why are you allowing him to perpetrate the myth that his dirty socks and the floor in your jointly shared accommodation are your responsibility?

Being a SAHP means exactly that. You stay at home to parent, including washing, cleaning and cooking for your children. You don't stay at home to clean for an adult. You're not his mother ffs! Stop letting him treat you like a slave one.

Get off that treadmill now! Right now!

He's a big man. If he wants clean pants there's only two ways of getting them. He can pay someone to do it or he can do it himself. If the cleanliness of floors isn't up to his standards (and how would you know, he doesn't do it himself so you've no benchmark), he can pay for a cleaner or clean them himself too.

Primrose123 · 14/09/2014 18:09

YWNBU to tell him that at all.

I think you sound very efficient. I am not as good at keeping up with the housework as you are. I think you need to give me some tips. :)

iklboo · 14/09/2014 18:32

Fair to mention you're not putting a wash on for a few days? Surely a grown man can work out a dwindling supply of clean kecks = washing needs to be done - and put a wash on himself? It's not like he's got to take it down to the river & bash it on a rock.

balia · 14/09/2014 18:32

Is it just a moan about the house or was he expecting you to go back to work and is unhappy that you aren't?

Plomino · 14/09/2014 18:59

So he was down to his last clean pair - so ? Does he wear them two at a time , one over his trousers like fucking Superman? A ) I'd be there would be clean ones tomorrow , and B) if he's expecting snowy white immaculate laundry , he'd better fork out for professionals , or do it his damn self . I certainly wouldn't be agonising over the pearly whiteness of his tighty off whiteys . My DH doesn't do a huge amount of domestic chores , mainly because I do the majority of the in house work , and he does the vast majority of the outside work , fencing , repairing the electric fencing , paddock work , cutting wood and stocking the wood sheds , plus a 50 hour plus week working outside . He still bungs his work clothes through the wash himself as soon as he gets home nightly , and is very appreciative if I do it .

ilovechristmas1 · 14/09/2014 19:04

i think what you do daily etc is good

hoovering very day Shock

dont see dh's problem

sighbynight · 14/09/2014 19:07

My usual comment in this situation is "don't let me stop you".

FoodieToo · 14/09/2014 20:21

Suck the mop up his arse. Bloody cheek. Sounds like you have the place really clean anyway.
I never iron.
And you are right,cleaning is thankless . I make husband and kids share most of it.
I would be beyond livid if I were you. I would do even less. Put up a rota with chores for everyone.

BigChocFrenzy · 14/09/2014 22:09

Cripes, your place is cleaner than mine Blush
Does your DH have a disability other than lazyarseiness ?
4DCs plus a manchild - that's very hard work.

Stealthpolarbear · 14/09/2014 22:15

I feel as though I am turning into xenia

EverythingCounts · 14/09/2014 22:46

Your standards are way higher than mine, even now. You're quite right to cut down. What was that joke about how the bloke comes home to a house like a bomb site and the wife sitting in the armchair who says 'I thought the best way to let you see what I do all day was not to do it'?

Definitely a rota as Foodie says is the way to go. And what you said yourself in your OP.

Madratlady · 14/09/2014 22:49

You're doing better than me. If your dh isn't happy he knows where the mop and the washing machine are.

BlackeyedSusan · 14/09/2014 23:14

actually, this might be a money spinning idea. I will charge poeple money to come round and look how bad it could get.... then they will appreciate how good their house is.

(single parent to two children, one witha a disability and one with mobility issues that make extra work and a flat half way through rennovation... )

Dieu · 15/09/2014 06:15

I cannot imagine being a SAHP and not putting my other half's washing in the machine, when they're the one at work all week. It just seems unnecessarily arsey to me, and it doesn't take long just to shove it in. Fair enough to draw the line at doing their ironing, but I couldn't justify not doing the laundry part.

Inertia · 15/09/2014 06:35

One word - slippers.