to be worried about my fertility

[ticktickboomtick]

36 today.

Yikes.

People conceive in their 40s right please

What would be the point?

Quite bluntly that you are already in the last chance saloon and you are advised to conceive pronto.

Then you probably would be into fast decisions about sperm banks.

If you wouldn't consider donor insemination, then at least the pressure to find a relationship would be off.

Imagine running around for the next two years thinking the clock is ticking, unaware that the chances are slight to non-existent.

Or it could be very good news; That you have the egg reserve of a 30 year old, for example. Surely that would relieve some pressure?

It depends how you feel about knowing, I suppose.

Disclaimer: I did have my ovarian reserve checked two years ago, but was given an explanation of the result appropriate to my very humanities graduate understanding so the nuances of them are probably a bit lost on me

No one is perfect but I do sometimes get 'hey I know this great bloke - er, cocaine isn't a problem, is it?'

Eek.

I was thinking more of differing educational levels or an enthusiasm for motorsports

Egg reserve is only one part of the equation though. Mine was fine, as were all other tests on both of us. It took us three years and four rounds of ivf to conceive. A fertility mot could give a false sense of security. A third of infertility cases are unexplained, i.e. All tests are normal. The only way to test your fertility for sure is to ttc.

If you are serious about wanting kids, you need to think about whether you would be prepared to go it alone with a sperm donor baby.

I definitely don't think going it alone is for me

Well that's one definite narrowing down decision made.

You'd better make preparations for the most sociable year of your life

Indeed. I have to admit though I tried that last year when I turned 35!

Perhaps I need to buy a cat. And some wool!

To knit a mantrap?!

What's the cat for? To eat him?

You are way to young to retire to your rocking chair!

*too young...

Some of the comments here make me feel like I need to conceive in the next six months or not bother!

I did the 'despair, have idiotic affair which goes nowhere, take up with nice bloke immediately afterwards, find self unexpectedly up duff' route.

That child is now 13. Her sister, who took about six months to conceive, is 11. Their father and I live together really quite happily.

I don't mean to sound glib but to say honestly I felt exactly like you. It wasn't nice at all. But things did change! And fertility was the least of my problems.

Thanks. You don't sound glib, you've made me happy :)

Don't leave it too long - I was 36 when started TTC - finally gave birth at 43 after shedloads of IVF and heartache.

I had an underlying fertility problem that would have affected me at any age and that was totally unknown until we started TTC in earnest.
At 35 I paid for a private fertility/gynae health evaluation including laparoscopy. They said everything was working perfectly - they were wrong.

Good luck!

Well, my circumstances are being single and while that might change, it might not as well.

I suppose all I was looking for was a bit of hope I might still be able to be a Mum.

Of course I may not but it would be nice to think I've still got a year or so in which it's an option :)

YANBU

Don't worry. Just, don't worry.

OP, I spent my entire late twenties and early thirties worrying about infertility mainly in part to the media's obsession with older mums.

I conceived both my DCs with no trouble whatsoever-my DS at 36 and my DD at 39.

It was completely usual 'back in the day' for women to have children right into their forties and in fact when my mum traced our family tree I was surprised just how many of my relatives had babies in their twenties, thirties and forties-lack on contraception obv being to blame!

All of my friends have had their first baby in their early to mid thirties.

On my 36th birthday I had concerns too and started ttc. It took a year but did naturally conceive. I am 39 now ttc a second. So far no joy and as I approach 40 I wonder if it might.not happen.

My advice to you would be to focus some energy on health. Join a sports club/gym, get out there and socialise. Go have a consultation at a fertility clinic and make sure that you understand what you are being told.

I conceived DC1 a couple of weeks shy of my 35th birthday after two months of trying. Currently pregnant with DC2, conceived 2 months shy of my 37th birthday, again second month of trying. Am hoping for a third, will probably be nearing 40 by the time I'm ready to go through it again. It's not impossible but the main reason for our small age gap is worries over declining fertility and the fear that it would take years of TTC second time around.

I know plenty of people who have had children in their late thirties/early forties, either with or without a partner. Contrary to Kirsty Allsopp's ill informed wittering and the Daily Fail's scaremongering, your fertility did not drop off a cliff at 35.

My mum had me at 39 and my sil had my nephew at 42. I met a lovely man when I was 37, was honest with him about wanting children, moved in together when I was 39 thinking chances of us conceiving were slim, and getting my head around the prospect of a child free future. Conceived that month. Miscarried, but got through it together. Nine months later conceived again on my 40th birthday. Currently 28 weeks and seriously considering the possibility of having another.

Good luck.

I agree you need a man

But, I decided I should ttc as I was approaching 36. Had a BFP a month later, and am now 39 and 16 weeks pg with DC2 (after 4 months ttc) so I think there's hope :)

An optimistic article here with interesting dissection of the source data on which a lot of fertility stats based: www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/.

Anecdotally, I can easily count 9 women I know who had 1st dc over 36, several in their 40s, one with donor sperm, others in relationship, some after relatively long ttc, others happy surprises - same as the women I know who conceived in early 30s. My mum worked with a guy who was born when his mum was 48 - conceived naturally!

There is hope! I had DS at 37 and DD at 39 - both conceived the first month of trying. I had been told getting pregnant would be difficult/high likelihood of premature delivery as I had large fibroids. DS was a week overdue and DD was delivered slightly early as planned c-section.

Start doing hobbies where you meet lots of people - even things where you meet lots of females because they do, after all, have male friends and brothers!