About who gets a lie in

[Mmmicecream]

I thought I'd test this here before picking a fight with DH about it

Both DH and I are tired. The DCs are poor sleepers (each is up at least once a night), and we both work the same amount. We get up at different times with them, but probably end up, on average, being up the same amount with them. We have a deal whereby we get a lie-in each a weekend: he tends to doze during his, whereas I sleep like a log.

BUT whereas I try to go to bed early most nights, he stays up late playing computer games so is often in bed at least an hour later than me, maybe more. And, our lie in arrangement is premised on the idea that we are both the same amount of tired.

AIBU to think that if he chooses to stay up late and that's contributing to his tiredness he doesn't deserve a lie in and should give his to me? I'm getting a bit grumpy about it, but am not sure if it's just the tiredness talking.

Or is the sleep deprivation addling my brain and not only am IBU but need more ?

So you go to bed earlier and therfore deserve to stay in bed longer?

Sorry but YABU. You both get a lie in. What he chooses to do the night before his is up to him.

YABU. What he does in his free time is his problem. As long as you share the lie ins, that's fine. Now, if he was staying up late playing computer games and then he was too tired to wake up in the morning to be with the kids, then you'd have a point.

Ps the who is more tired competition never ends well. Try and avoid it - I speak from bitter experience!

You should get one morning each if you both want a lie in. When my dc's were little I always got up with them in the morning but when they napped after lunch I went back to bed for a bit. If, for any reason, they didn't nap (except if they were ill) dh watched them to let me have an hour.

Yabu. I usually go to bed first but I just think I need more sleep, so that's how it arranges itself. We both still get a lie-in each at the weekend, though.

YABU.

YAB a bit U but I understand. We have a similar arrangement but the thing that miffs me a bit is that I go to bed early so only need a short long lie but DH stays up later so wants a longer long lie.

I think he contributes to his tiredness, so shouldn't take a long long lie. (I take an hour - often less- , he can take up to 3 hours before I start making noise!!)

Agree with CremeEggs! People want to go to bed at different times and that shouldn't affect their lie in - you should each have one!

YABU. As has already been said, as an adult he can choose what he does with his own time. Also, it's not as simple as being "the same amount of tired". People need different amounts of sleep and react differently to fatigue.

Your being silly

YABU but I sympathise!

Heh I think i knew IWBU, hence testing it on here first

Thanks

Yabu. It's fair the way it is, leave it as it is. He obviously has his reasons for wanting to stay up later- his 'me time' to play games and catch up on TV or whatever. And you'd be willing to take away his one lie-in a week because of that?

The tired competition never ends well btw.

One lie in each. Case closed.

This thread has me thinking - in this situ (2 paremnts, young dc) How long is a reasonable long lie?

We usually do til 9-10am Blankie.

I'm like your dh. I am a night owl and to me a piece of late night, now I have DCs is a big treat, I look forward to my late nights.

I 'pay' for them, sleep wise by my once a weekend lie in. I would NOT be happy at being asked to relinquish my precious late night just because DH is not a night owl and doesn't think I deserve them.

Sorry.

I feel I have lost the ability to lie in like I used too. Can't really sleep past 830, 9 at a push, dh on the other hand has not. Our arrangement is that he does 3 weekday get ups (im on mat leave) and I take over at 830 ish when he goes to work. I do both weekend mornings and he has a 'proper lie in' till about 10. He also stays up late watching telly and whatever and probably why he requires more than a poke or two to get him moving. I sometimes feel a bit mean kicking him out of bed to see to lo when I heard her and woke up, I might doze off again but often use the extra hour in bed on my phone, reading or listening to the radio. just down time which he has in the evening.

Blankiefan good question! Maybe 10? Any later than that you may start really affecting what the family can do that day.

But then again I am not the voice of reason in matters related to lie-ins!

dalekanium that's a good point, I'd not thought of it like that.

We take turns on a sat and sun.

DH lies in on Saturday and I do on Sunday until 9-10.
The only exceptions are hangovers or illness.
I have offered to get up for DH on a Sunday once it twice if he had been up late working or had slept really badly

Lie in in our house would be until about 9am, max. Special circumstances like illness or having been out late (v v rare) notwithstanding.

That's 2 hours or so after the other person has been up with the kids, which is plenty 'extra' IMO.

I never get a lie in. Ever .