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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know what to do

40 replies

Notacs · 13/09/2014 09:40

I was a teacher (English.)

I left 2 years ago. My dad died 3 years ago (mum was already dead, she died when I was 15) and then 2 years ago brother died too, so everything my dad had was mine/ours ... I won't drone on but basically we've no mortgage. Which is nice although it doesn't compensate for the loss of everything else of course.

Anyway I wanted to get back into work (had a baby in April) and started out small by doing just a couple of hours for a homecare agency, I hated it at first but I really do like it now.

I've also dipped my toe back in with supply, I hate it though Confused

I guess I'm wondering if I would be unreasonable to just work as a carer? I'm thinking I could earn so much more as a teacher which would benefit the children in the future. And there's things to consider like pensions, like protected salary, death in service, I just don't know if it's worth it to leave completely.

I guess it's a wwyd - I could only earn peanuts as a carer. But then we don't NEED it, but it's always nice to have it if you see what I mean!

I don't know.

OP posts:
Finola1step · 13/09/2014 09:43

Tutoring?

Hoppinggreen · 13/09/2014 09:48

I think that if you don't need to work for money you should find a job you really enjoy.
Some people manage to do both but it's unusual.
If you don't need the money do what you want

Original poster
Notacs · 13/09/2014 09:56

I don't want to tutor.

I know what you mean hopping but while we don't need the money, the money could be useful in the future if not now, if you see what I mean (I'm thinking in particular with the expense of house prices.)

I'm also concerned about a pension.

OP posts:
myroomisatip · 13/09/2014 09:56

I agree, do what makes you happy.

Also, being a carer is a very important job, not suited to everyone. And from what I read, good carers are really needed.

Original poster
Notacs · 13/09/2014 10:03

Yes, but it's £7 an hour (less than that really as you aren't paid for travel time!)

I can't put anything to one side for the children with that, it may buy them a nice birthday present and ice creams and things. But what about when they become teenagers and young adults? I'm wondering ... Don't I have a duty to them to put money aside given that I CAN earn it?

OP posts:
partialderivative · 13/09/2014 10:20

You surely know that teaching is not the sort of job you do for the money. Whilst the pay is far more than you would be getting as a carer, it does take a large amount of commitment that you do not seem to have atm.

Original poster
Notacs · 13/09/2014 10:26

Why wouldn't teaching be something you do for the money? :)

Going to work and being aware you wouldn't do it voluntarily doesn't equate to not caring, surely? Practically I'll do my best with whatever job I do but I do have to think of my future and that of my children, too.

OP posts:
Superworm · 13/09/2014 10:31

If you hate teaching, are you thinking of having a career change?

I think being a carer is a lovely job. It's very rewarding to help people in such a personal way. You could always retrain into nursing, physio, OT, SALT later if you wanted to.

Cornettoninja · 13/09/2014 10:34

Teaching and caring aren't a world away from each other. Have you looked at working in more of an educationally therapeutic role? Years ago now, but when I worked as a support worker the organisation I worked for had 'educational' roles that concentrated on teaching life skills or subjects such as it or art.

With your background I don't think it would be hard to transfer into a role like that. They usually pay more than a caring role.

Original poster
Notacs · 13/09/2014 10:35

Maybe cornetto that would be nice :)

I wanted to have a career change but don't know what to! I am aware I lost a lot of confidence and don't have it back yet.

OP posts:
myroomisatip · 13/09/2014 10:35

That is a shocking amount of money when you take into consideration the responsibilities that come with that job :(

Have you written out a list of pros and cons?

No one can really tell you what you should do, but IMO I think you only get one life and you should do what makes you happy.

RhiWrites · 13/09/2014 10:37

I think supply teaching is probably v different from having a class of your own.

Then again, perhaps you should ask yourself, if you had a completely free choice (no money or other concerns) what are the top 10 things you'd most like to do.

myroomisatip · 13/09/2014 10:37

I am actually feeling very cross about that salary! Cleaners earn more.

bunchoffives · 13/09/2014 10:39

Be a carer. Your DC will benefit more from growing up with you happy and available for them than if your are miserable, stressed and busy all the time.

they might not even need/want any more money in the future.

Original poster
Notacs · 13/09/2014 10:39

Oh I know it is awful - criminal really.

I hate supply teaching but it's brought back a lot of what I disliked about 'real' teaching anyway.

OP posts:
bauhausfan · 13/09/2014 12:40

I'm an ex English teacher too. I don't miss it. I do tutoring and used to do exam marking (boring as fuck). I don't have much of a pension and we are quite poor but my life is better now simply because of the lack of stress. Happiness is more important than money - especially if you don't have a mortgage ;)

partialderivative · 13/09/2014 16:20

Why wouldn't teaching be something you do for the money?

If you need to ask that question...

Original poster
Notacs · 13/09/2014 16:55

Yes. If you're a teacher, do you give all of your monthly salary to charity? Do you think other teachers do?

I think it's silly to pretend otherwise; if we didn't do it for some sort of financial compensation, precious few people would teach. Obviously, it's a job which has a lot of heart in it as well but that doesn't mean that someone can't teach because they want/need the money and still do it perfectly well!

OP posts:
partialderivative · 13/09/2014 16:59

If money is the main motivation (which is what you imply), I'm not sure you can have the students' benefits at heart.

As parents, isn't that what we desire?

partialderivative · 13/09/2014 17:01

"benefits", silly word to use. Maybe 'Interests' would be better.

Original poster
Notacs · 13/09/2014 17:04

I think that's a strange tactic to take; of course you can! Money is the reason most of us do our jobs. My husband is a doctor and he is paid well for this, as it recognises the responsibility and level of training he needed to practice.

If teachers' salaries were halved, would teachers carry on anyway because they had the best interests of the students at heart or would they say it was unfair and leave? I suspect the latter!

OP posts:
bauhausfan · 13/09/2014 17:25

Most of my teaching friends are only in it for the money lol, likewise any friends I have in nursing etc.

ineedsomeinspiration · 13/09/2014 17:33

What is it you enjoy about being a carer perhaps if you tell us about that, then people may be able to suggest other areas you may enjoy.
Don't go back to a job that will make you miserable. We spend a large proportion of our time working, do you really want to spend thst portion being unhappy.

ImperialBlether · 13/09/2014 17:34

Why the hell are teachers picked out as people who should work for the love of it? I've heard the same said of nurses (interestingly, not doctors.)

Why do people say this? It's a really, really stupid thing to say.

seasavage · 13/09/2014 17:36

Do what you love. In the long term you'll be more likely to stick at it. A steady drip income isn't so bad if your home life is your own. If you change your mind one day. So what?