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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not know what to do

40 replies

Notacs · 13/09/2014 09:40

I was a teacher (English.)

I left 2 years ago. My dad died 3 years ago (mum was already dead, she died when I was 15) and then 2 years ago brother died too, so everything my dad had was mine/ours ... I won't drone on but basically we've no mortgage. Which is nice although it doesn't compensate for the loss of everything else of course.

Anyway I wanted to get back into work (had a baby in April) and started out small by doing just a couple of hours for a homecare agency, I hated it at first but I really do like it now.

I've also dipped my toe back in with supply, I hate it though

I guess I'm wondering if I would be unreasonable to just work as a carer? I'm thinking I could earn so much more as a teacher which would benefit the children in the future. And there's things to consider like pensions, like protected salary, death in service, I just don't know if it's worth it to leave completely.

I guess it's a wwyd - I could only earn peanuts as a carer. But then we don't NEED it, but it's always nice to have it if you see what I mean!

I don't know.

OP posts:

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/09/2014 17:43

If work was always fun and enjoyable then they wouldn't have to pay you to go. YANBU for choosing a job you enjoy. I think you owe your children being the best, happiest parent you can be. I don't think you owe them a stack of cash.

partialderivative · 13/09/2014 18:07

Why do people say this? It's a really, really stupid thing to say.

Right back at you Blether.

I think that anyone who assumes you do not need some commitment to be a teacher is a fool.

I do not know about being a nurse or doctor, I have never been one. But I have been a teacher for 30 years.

partialderivative · 13/09/2014 18:09

Maybe I should have stated 'to be a good teacher'

fun1nthesun · 13/09/2014 18:09

There will be a teacher along in a moment to tell you they earn £75 a day and the planning/paperwork is endless.

How about updating your teaching qualifications whilst working as a carer?

Keep all those options open?

partialderivative · 13/09/2014 18:11

Without carers, our society would grind to a halt.

The respect and recompense they receive is appalling.

LavaDragonflies · 13/09/2014 18:20

OP, the only duty that you have to your children is to be the best parent that you can be. Only you can decide what that entails - good luck making the decision.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 13/09/2014 18:21

Have you thought about being a Health care assistant / Clinical support worker in the NHS?
It would mean your love of caring is backed up by the security of a pension. You still get to care for patients, making sure they are well cared for, fed, helped with their needs within a hospital setting. Good Clinical support workers are worth their weight in gold!
I worked as a Health care assistant for a few months before nursing school and I loved every minute. It was my job to help elderly patients eat, drink, bathe and get them back on their feet. Very rewarding work.

My SIL worked as a carer for months, but hated how the company was run. She has been a clinical support worker for 2 years now, and has never been happier.

Original poster

Notacs · 13/09/2014 18:33

I don't think being in two minds about teaching means I lack commitment. My commitment comes or would come with my acceptance of a post - but obviously my reasons for taking that hypothetical post would be financial.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 13/09/2014 18:40

I, too, have been a teacher for thirty years, partial, and of course the money was important to all of us at work. Yes, we liked our students and wanted what was best for them and we all worked extremely hard to help them succeed, but we still needed to live. Not having a pay rise for years hit us all hard. We weren't doing the job for charitable reasons but because we were good at it and gained some satisfaction from seeing the students succeed and move on.

maddening · 13/09/2014 18:46

I like the therapeutic education route - like art therapy or speech therapy

Original poster

Notacs · 13/09/2014 18:49

I don't think I want to work in an educational setting at all but thanks

OP posts:

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK · 13/09/2014 18:57

My advice would be call and see how much you need to top up for your pension then decide.
Although don't do a job you hate!

My mum wanted/needed (could prob work now but doesn't) to give up work in her 40's she called the pension people who told her she needed to pay in between 3-4k to have it fully topped up for her full pension so she paid it in all and now doesn't worry about it.

If you want to just do caring and don't need the money to live on then you could just save all of it in a separate account so it's there for if you do need at future date.

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK · 13/09/2014 19:05

I terms of earning for your children's needs, well as long as they have the things they need growing up clothes food ect which by the sounds of it your husbands salary could more than cater for the. You've both don't your job.

Why would you want to slog your guts in doing a job you hate to give them all the money at the end of it?

I don't mean that as a dig but in my family it has always been...

Once kids are adults it's up to us to provide for our own lives.

No massive inheritances and none of us would want that. Iv told my parents grandparents etc to enjoy their money while they are alive don't you dare save it just to pass to us one day, I'd rather see them happy in life!

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo · 13/09/2014 19:11

Would you consider working as a home tutor for children who don't have school places? Very rewarding work, excellent hourly rate and teacher pension. Sounds like an ad! I work for county and a PRU as one and have never been happier at work!

Original poster

Notacs · 13/09/2014 19:34

No, I'd be a rubbish tutor to be honest :)

OP posts:

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