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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To loathe the breastfeeding posters in my Maternity Ward?

139 replies

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 12/09/2014 13:49

Breast milk is best for baby. Most if not all women know this, and I really dont take umbridge with the posters that point this out - just to clarify.

I bfd dd for three days before beginning to dread every feed and switched to ff. I know people who have bfd all the way through, ffd all the way through and who have successfully mix fed. Baby gets milk - that is the aim. Regardless.

However there are some posters in amongst the more sensible ones which really are imo awful and will just make anyone who cant or doesnt want to bf probably feel a bit like shit at a time when they need it least:

"This mum knows best"
"This mum has made the right choice"

So anyone who doesnt bf doesnt know best or has made the wrong choice?

Even if they said "this mum has made the right choice for her and her baby" or "this mum knows breast is best" would be more palatable.

AIBU to find these posters simply too judgemental?

OP posts:
Laphem · 13/09/2014 07:48

Of course it is not the sole reason, little pod and no one here has suggested it is. And no it was not relevant or appropriate for the breastfeeding guru to bring it up.

Zippidydoodah · 13/09/2014 07:48

Nct classes aren't designed to give new parents to be ANY info about ff. my teacher had made her own handout and we had to discreetly pick it up on the way out if we were interested. She apologised after we had all had our babies and asked why she hadn't told us how bloody hard it was!!

I don't agree with the pressure and inducement of guilt in mums- but I do think there needs to be a lot more help and support and then maybe mums who "try for one day/three days and find it too hard" might actually persevere a bit. It IS hard to start with, no matter what they say. So tough it out a bit longer and you might find it really worthwhile.

Caramelkate · 13/09/2014 07:52

It's not just the breast feeding posters. I remember one saying how important skin to skin contact was after birth. I was having a c- section, asked about skin to skin and was laughed at. That poster was right next to my bed on the postnatal ward, I still remember it 14 years on.

minifingers · 13/09/2014 07:52

here

Anyone care to watch this breastfeeding promotional video (click on the top one).

Do you think it's quite extreme?

minifingers · 13/09/2014 07:56

Formula is a product most of us can choose to use or not choose to use. I think that parents considering how they are going to feed their baby should have this information - it certainly made a difference to my feeding choices so why wouldn't it make a difference to other peoples? Who else would give mothers this information?

Primrose123 · 13/09/2014 08:03

YANBU Hacked.

I tried to fb both my babies, but just couldn't do it. They wouldn't or couldn't latch on. They are now healthy teenagers, but when I read these words today,

"This mum knows best"
"This mum has made the right choice"

I immediately felt like it was directed at me and that I was a failure.

Primrose123 · 13/09/2014 08:04

Sorry, that should be bf not fb. I did not try to Facebook my babies. [ smile]

tobysmum77 · 13/09/2014 08:05

yanbu I remember being in the waiting room when dd2 was admitted for weight loss (due to being breastfeed), surrounded by breast is best posters Sad . Erm no its best when it works well.

Patronising posters are not the right way. Every new mother needs their own allocated infant feeding consultant to provide support. But putting a couple of crappy posters up is cheaper so we'll stick with that I guess Hmm

LittlePeaPod · 13/09/2014 08:32

The really remarkable thing is that people care so little about it that it's considered immoral to even raise the issue in relation to feeding choices in the IK.

I don't think raising the issue as a discussion point is immoral. I do however think if you have a limited period of time to supposedly support new mums with breastfeeding then don't waste more than half that time discussing this because in that moment it is not helping those new mothers.

Mini. I was wondering when you would come onto the thread Wink

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 13/09/2014 08:34

In contrast to most people here, I had a really honest breastfeeding counsellor on my NCT course. She explained that there will be some pain at first, but it should pass (if not then she talked about what might be causing the pain and what you can try to fix it) , she talked about cluster feeding and how exhausting that can be. She had loads of useful tips about latch etc I thought she was great. But looks like I was bloody lucky! OP I hope you're not stuck staring at those posters for much longer.

LittlePeaPod · 13/09/2014 09:16

Secretblack. Shame our consultant wasn't like yours. Maybe more than one in the eight mothers would have persisted with BF for longer..

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 13/09/2014 09:17

It's alright everyone, minifingers is here to show us the error of our ways, with a healthy dose of shaming.

So already we're guilty of helping formula companies continue to practice unethically. Anything else?

beccajoh · 13/09/2014 09:35

My NCT breastfeeding class consisted of the woman thrusting her boobs at a dolly, being told to listen out for swallowing sounds and viewing a selection of pumps available for hire.

I think minifingers must be the NHS's breastfeeding adviser. They seem to have the same guilt-women-into-breastfeeding approach.

CruCru · 13/09/2014 10:47

It's a pity that there isn't much any discussion of mixed feeding. I fed DS for a year and am still feeding DD (11 months) and have mixed fed with both.

FuckOffWeasel · 13/09/2014 11:14

is the NHS boob poster real? It can't be right. We aren't paying for the NHS to take creepy soft porn pics now are we?

allisgood1 · 13/09/2014 11:25

YANBU. The choice of wording is bad. And I am very pro breastfeeding and anti formula. But I'm also pro choice. It's every mothers choice what she does and she shouldn't be judged by anyone for that. At the end if the day when these babies are adults it won't matter if they were bf or ff. no one will talk about it.

Mrsstarlord · 13/09/2014 11:25

Just watched the video link minifingers, not sure how it promotes breast feeding though. Just looks like a nice video of women feeding and playing with their babies, no message (except I suppose a subliminal message that if you want to be beautiful and slim and fun mummies like these ladies then you should BF) - bit odd really.

LittlePeaPod · 14/09/2014 05:41

Just watched the video. Lovely black and white artful video but what exactly is the message Mini other than the point MrsStar makes above?

Daftsocks · 14/09/2014 06:17

I bf and I always hoped to be able to, luckily it have managed but it's bloody hard and I do not judge if anyone doesn't bf. When pregnant I felt the focus was scarily pro bf to the point that I agree, I would have felt bad or guilty for ff if it came to it. It shouldn't be this way.

I remember thinking if you DIDNT want to breastfeed you'd get 'the talk' and basically be told you should, bottom line. I chose not to vaccinate and as soon as I said No I could see the doctors face change as he prepared to convince me otherwise, expect it would have been the same.

We have a choice! WE are the mothers, thank you.

Lagoonablue · 14/09/2014 06:28

BF rates are still low, NHS trusts have to promote it. Sometimes they get it wrong. Sorry but I do think some women get very precious about this. If you don't want to BF don't. If you can't then don't but a few posters......well just ignore them.

The problem is that BFing is still not the norm and NHS are up against it in terms of changing that. I agree some of the posters aren't the best but that applies to various promotions, around smoking, obesity etc.

LittlePeaPod · 14/09/2014 06:58

Lagoon are you comparing FF to smoking?

PineneedleSoup · 14/09/2014 07:28

Why don't we get guilt inducing posters for everything eg feeding your kids crap,not giving them enough exercise,hearing them read,reducing screen time,ensuring they play outside,not providing enough fruit& veg..... all of these have bigger impacts.

It's really strange that bfing continues to be the one parenting choice our society chooses to beat up mothers over.And such strong arm tactics clearly don't work.Confused

HamishBamish · 14/09/2014 08:58

I don't like to see any material pressurising women about anything in maternity wards. It's such a vulnerable time, hormones all over the place, it could be extremely upsetting.

I've very pro-bf and had some amazing support after having DS1, but if things hadn't worked out the last thing I would have needed would have been posters everywhere (as well as in the GP surgery waiting room!).

Writerwannabe83 · 14/09/2014 09:46

But there are posters about healthy eating, smoking, drinking, exercise etc though? Do people look at them and feel offended by those as well?

If done correctly the posters to encourage breast feeding are no different to any posters that are trying to promote a healthy lifestyle choice.

And before anyone asks of course in not comparing FF to smoking and alcohol - I was just giving examples of posters designed to encourage/discourage certain lifestyle choices.

PineneedleSoup · 14/09/2014 09:51

Other posters aren't done in the same way,are often re far more serious health issues and aimed at choices you make for yourself ie not parenting choices.

Smoking and obesity are just not in the same category as a few months of ffing which are often followed by a perfectly healthy lifestyle.The lifestyle after is the issue more worthy of worrying about imvho.