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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To loathe the breastfeeding posters in my Maternity Ward?

139 replies

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 12/09/2014 13:49

Breast milk is best for baby. Most if not all women know this, and I really dont take umbridge with the posters that point this out - just to clarify.

I bfd dd for three days before beginning to dread every feed and switched to ff. I know people who have bfd all the way through, ffd all the way through and who have successfully mix fed. Baby gets milk - that is the aim. Regardless.

However there are some posters in amongst the more sensible ones which really are imo awful and will just make anyone who cant or doesnt want to bf probably feel a bit like shit at a time when they need it least:

"This mum knows best"
"This mum has made the right choice"

So anyone who doesnt bf doesnt know best or has made the wrong choice?

Even if they said "this mum has made the right choice for her and her baby" or "this mum knows breast is best" would be more palatable.

AIBU to find these posters simply too judgemental?

OP posts:
MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 12/09/2014 18:53

You're spot on ithoughtofit

I managed a day of breastfeeding. The guilt I was given by health professionals and other mums has made it so that I doubt I'll try again when I have more children. It isn't worth the guilt when you don't make it to that 'magic' point.

violetlights · 12/09/2014 19:28

Jesus, tethersend - is that poster really for real?? It's a fucking disgrace. Care to start a petition??

chucklingbunny · 12/09/2014 19:29

fcukip
There are no FF posters or adverts because the NHS is prevented by European law from promoting FF in any way at all. As a result those of us who can't or choose not to BF are left struggling to find information about FF. IME babies who are FF do just as well as BF babies, nothing wrong with formula, it is completely fit for purpose and IMHO the NHS should be promoting feeding choices for new mothers and their babies with none judgemental facts and statistics, not selecting information and making judgemental statements to put pressure on women who are already vulnerable and struggling.
Disclaimer - lots of friends and family who breastfeed, no issues with that it's their choice, let's have everyone feel free to make and informed choice without this ridiculous propaganda.
OP YANBU!

mewkins · 12/09/2014 19:52

The posters you talk about are annoying and assume that breastfeeding successfully is as simple as making a choice. So many people find an agonising experience.

Why can't the message be 'give it a try'?

AmberLav · 12/09/2014 21:35

It was the one that showed a clearly 5 month old opening its mouth perfectly to latch on, as my one had to have her month levered open each time!

Bulbasaur · 12/09/2014 22:34

What? Sorry. I couldn't hear you over my FF baby that's perfectly happy, healthy, and bonded to me.

We have a carpet that hasn't been steam cleaned in god knows how long (We think at least 15 years). We just stick DD on that to build up her immune system. Grin

Writerwannabe83 · 12/09/2014 22:40

I hate seeing posters that say one of the benefits of BF is that you form a stronger bond. What a really shitty and idiotic thing to think and say!!!

HaveYouTriedARewardChart · 13/09/2014 00:00

Yeah I don't get that. When I bf I can't see the eyes of my dc. When they have a bottle they can stare right into your eyes. Been giving dd, 1 week old, ebm from a bottle today and love the eye contact!

smokeandglitter · 13/09/2014 00:05

YES, tethersend, I loathe that poster!

LizLimone · 13/09/2014 01:19

I always think breast feeding education material focuses too much on the whys of breast feeding and not the hows.

We've all had the benefits of bf drummed into us 100 times over. What's lacking is basic honesty about whet bf is like, common problems and solutions and encouraging messages like 'it's always hard at the start' or 'keep going, it gets easier' etc.

My NCT breastfeeding class was just crap. All the usual messages on how bf is a miracle cure for everything and how breast milk is a magical elixir and so on - yes, we get it! It's the nectar of the gods! Whatever - can someone just tell me how the heck to get it out of my breasts and into my baby????

When I asked about common problems and advice to tackle them I was just told the usual chestnut of if it hurts, you're doing it wrong' and 'bf is natural, your baby instinctually knows what to do'. Totally wrong in my experience...

PhaedraIsMyName · 13/09/2014 01:31

The bond with your man poster is just awful. What is the message anyway?

ToysRLuv · 13/09/2014 02:25

Yanbu. I had severe pnd, partly due to struggling to bf despite trying very hard and receiving help.

That poster tethers has posted- The feminist in me is horrified. Uuurgh..

Kakaka · 13/09/2014 02:59

This was the poster up at my local birthing unit when I went for antenatal classes 5 years ago.

nz poster

When ever we talk to people who went to the same place they say 'Did they still have that awful poster'.

HaveYouTriedARewardChart · 13/09/2014 04:48

Oh lord. What a terrible position Grin

Zara8 · 13/09/2014 04:54

YANBU

During a meeting as part of a formal complaint to my hospital about the lack of bf support (left by midwives for 9 hours after birth, nobody would come and help latch refusing DS and I), the hospital manager said "you could have gone into the corridor.... We have some posters and pamphlets and breastfeeding there...." In a supposedly baby-friendly hospital. I shit you not. Angry

That NZ poster does make me fall about laughing.... I don't think I have ever seen any child latch on like that! And errr what's with the banana photobombing.....?

LittlePeaPod · 13/09/2014 05:00

Liz. Agree with your comments on the NCT breastfeeding class. Our class was utterly shit too.

When the breastfeeding guru Breastgapo woman was asked about mixed feeding etc. in case breast feeding didn't workout, she actually got shitty about it? She started banging on about how you will have a closer bond with your baby, your baby wont get ear infections and grow up to be obese etc. She even tried blaming the FF companies for the higher infant mortality rates in third world countries. Hmm Shock. That was point I lost interest in what she was saying and started thinking about fluffy cloud.

The woman was completely militant and had no interest in having an adult discussion with new mum to bes about what to expect when you first start breastfeeding (good, bad and ugly). It was just the usual, baby knows what to do, if it hurts your doing it wrong etc.

Interestingly enough all 8 of us started breastfeeding but only one woman carried on breastfeeding until 6 months. The rest of us moved onto FF and all our babies seem happy and healthy.

I am still Shock at the man breast poster above!

LittlePeaPod · 13/09/2014 05:01

Grin @ banana photobombing

Zara8 · 13/09/2014 05:14

One upside of NHS cuts - less shit bf posters? Grin

Laphem · 13/09/2014 07:05

I am going to stand up for fcukukip. I have a friend who was bf when her son was 18 months and was anxious about it and felt she needed to stop because of all the 'when are you going to stop comments'. So there is pressure on both sides, extended breast feeders, ie those who don't stop at six months, come under pressure to stop too and it can be hard to resist that without a supportive network. I had another friend who was actually told by her Hv to stop at one year!
Having said that I really, really resented the biased info on breastfeeding after ds1 was born. They should have been honest about the strain never ever being able to get a break can place on you, about how some women don't succeed in expressing enough to feed from a bottle, how some babies cluster feed so that you can't get away even for 30 mins. All of these were my experiences. And ds1 had reflux and woke 5-7 times a night for a feed and I had to hold him upright for 30 mins after each feed. I almost died of sleep deprivation. It was hideous. Definitely mixed feeding the next.

TheNewStatesman · 13/09/2014 07:09

"She even tried blaming the FF companies for the higher infant mortality rates in third world countries."

Well, in fairness, they are responsible for IM rates being higher than they would otherwise be. I'm no defending anything else she said, mind you!

Laphem · 13/09/2014 07:21

Yes new statement, promoting formula amongst poor women without access to clean water supplies and who are liable to water down the formula due to poverty is deeply immoral.

LittlePeaPod · 13/09/2014 07:24

It may be immoral but they are not solely responsible for the mortality rate. Seriously! Hmm

Zippidydoodah · 13/09/2014 07:32

Oh my god tethers end- that poster is utterly appalling!! I'm Shock

LittlePeaPod · 13/09/2014 07:35

And using that as one of the reasons why women shouldn't bottle feed the evil FF company killing babies all round the world is slack. She should have used that time to discuss with us how we felt and answer some questions about feeding rather than spout the same old stuff. Her session was was poor and the real shame was it didn't do other breastfeeding support workers any favours with our group because none of us wanted to see another one after that. Anyway that's my rant over about her! Grin

minifingers · 13/09/2014 07:46

"She even tried blaming the FF companies for the higher infant mortality rates in third world countries"

Bottlefeeding does cause huge numbers of deaths in these countries and always has done. And formula companies still promote their products to mothers in these places in a pretty unethical way.

The really remarkable thing is that people care so little about it that it's considered immoral to even raise the issue in relation to feeding choices in the IK.

Knowing about the shitty unethical behaviour of formula companies was a serious motivator for me to try to exclusively breastfeed.