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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not buy DS2 (who will be less than a month old) any Xmas presents

68 replies

mrsHawk1ns · 12/09/2014 13:42

Before I get flamed for bringing up Christmas, I KNOW its only September but I'm trying to get a bit organised...

Ds2 is due on 2nd December... AIBU to consider not bothering with presents for him even though it is his First Christmas? Last year was DS1 first xmas, he was 6 months old and had no clue what all the fuss was about, this year he will be 18 months and way more into l everything. And I had the thought that if perhaps we still made it all about him and less about there being a brand new baby then it might make him less jealous. I'm sure DS2 will still get lots of bits from other family, and he doesn't really need anything at that young age anyway (plus we have so much of DS1s stuff we've kept already) I just wanted other opinions I guess!

OP posts:

Scholes34 · 12/09/2014 14:13

DC3 got two pairs of socks. Still got them. We show them to him now and again when he's feeling particularly hard done by being DC3, just to prove he's right.

SaucyJack · 12/09/2014 14:15

YANBU as he'll only be a few weeks old. But once they're of the age to be playing with toys I do think it's a bit mean not to get them anything.

Sootgremlin · 12/09/2014 14:16

Seriously though, fine not to, but I'm afraid I would not be able to resist doing something, probably as pp said, clothes or things he'd need anyway.

I hear what you're saying about the jealousy, but think it would actually be good for your ds to see the baby included in Christmas too. I think those kinds of things help cement the new family set-up when they are little. My ds was somewhat older when his sister came along, but he liked her being involved in everything.

At those ages though it won't really matter, so do whatever makes your life easier.

crje · 12/09/2014 14:18

YANBU We got ds curtains for his first birthday.
He got loads of clothes and toys from others.

Ilovexmastime · 12/09/2014 14:25

YANBU. Stick some money in a bank account for him if you feel too bad about it.

TheVeryThing · 12/09/2014 14:25

I don't think it would be unreasonable not too, but I think I wouldn't be able to resist getting something very small for the newest member of the family.
I agree with sootgremlin that it might be good for your ds to see the baby included in the celebrations.
When I reminded my ds1 (then 3) that santa would be bringing something for the new baby too, his response was 'you must be joking, Mummy, are you only joking?'

LetticeKnollys · 12/09/2014 14:31

DS will be 3 months, I will be buying something nice and Christmassy to dress him in and then not bothering with much else. I do have ideas for people who ask though, such as baby toys he might start to get interested in before his 1st birthday/next Christmas comes around, and a naice high chair for when weaning comes around.
Anything I do get him will be things it's useful to have in stock, like books or paints or something.

EveDallasRetd · 12/09/2014 14:37

DD was 9 mths for her first Xmas. We didn't get her anything. We knew she'd have presents from family and we knew she wouldn't understand. We still had a great Xmas.

We also only spent about a tenner on her for her first birthday. Same reasoning.

It's not horrible or mean or anything like that. They don't have a clue what Xmas or birthdays mean at that age.

MrsMonkeyBear · 12/09/2014 14:50

YANBU. My dd is due at the end of October so will just be turning 2 months. We will be getting her a few clothes this year for her and maybe a teddy. Will get her more next year when she is a bit more aware of what's going on.

LilMissVixen · 12/09/2014 15:47

For my first Christmas I got my stocking (not with presents but my actual stocking - which in subsequent years Father Christmas would fill for me) and a book that my mum has read to me every Christmas (including last Christmas, I'm 28 and know it buy heart now). Not big or flashy but probably the best presents I ever got.

Curlyweasel · 12/09/2014 15:52

Was stupid with DC1 - wasted money and time and all that. DC2 will be 7 months at Christmas. I'm going to do what 5madthings has suggested this time round.

So, as far as I'm concerned, YADNBU.

elsbethy · 12/09/2014 15:57

My DD was about six weeks old on her first Christmas. We didn't get her anything. Obviously as the first grandchild she was inundated with gifts from the rest of the family anyway. (Including one of those enormous Mamas & Papas rocking ladybird things. Needless to say she didn't get a great deal of use out of that on Christmas day.)

batgirl1984 · 12/09/2014 16:02

I wrapped up a few things my baby would need anyway (needed some extra bedding which made the pile look nice and big). But my big one was 2 which makes a difference.

Sootgremlin · 12/09/2014 16:04

Can I ask what the book was lilmiss? Don't answer if you don't want to, only I love children's Christmas books and always curious at any I might not know of

EmeraldLion · 12/09/2014 16:05

Personally I wouldn't feel right getting nothing, even if they're only a few days old. Not when every other family member will be getting gifts.

I'd probably still go and buy a good few presents, but stuff they will use in the next year, like a playmat, toys for 6-12 months, bath toys for use in a few months and so on.

IrianofWay · 12/09/2014 16:09

No.

He will probably get lots of stuff when he's born anyway. And let me tell you a secret he won't even notice!

There are years and years ahead of him to acquire heaps of junk! We could fill a landfill site on our own with the crap my three have aquired over the years. No need to start earlier than neccessary.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 12/09/2014 16:13

Yanbu,

Nobody who matters will think you love your baby more if you do and nobody who matters will think you love your baby less if you do not

curiousgeorgie · 12/09/2014 16:19

It might be nice to get him something like a keepsake? (More for you than him)

My DD was a few weeks at Christmas a few years ago and it was so exciting I just couldn't resist putting a couple of things under the tree for her, and actually, the photos of them and us opening them and 'showing' them to her are some of my favourites.

But you don't have to, and wouldn't be unreasonable not to!

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 12/09/2014 16:20

DS was born on 3rd Dec. We decided to get him a play mat, a rattle, some clothes and a baby's first Christmas baby grow. We would have bought all those things anyway, but I did spend a little more than if they had been every day purchases ( so got a slightly posher play mat, got slightly more expensive clothing). So he got lots of gifts for photo ops, and DD didn't ask questions as they both got gifts. DS loved it, even though he was only 3 weeks old, his little face lit up when he was on his new playmat.
Its totally your choice, but my DD was 3 and would have noticed the lack of gifts.
I would get a few token bits, or items you would buy anyway and wrap them up.

KnitterInTheNW · 12/09/2014 16:20

My DS2 was about 6 weeks old at his first Christmas. He had a stocking and and present from Santa, otherwise DS1 would have asked why Santa hadn't brought anything for his baby brother. His stocking had things like a nappy, a packet of wipes, some new dummies, a pair of socks, things like that. We did get a small new thing 'from Santa', but then some of DS1's old baby toys up so that it looked more like he hadn't been left out to DS1!

BackforGood · 12/09/2014 16:22

Of course YANBU.

I was going to say I'd wrap a little something so older one didn't think Father Christmas had forgotten him/her, but as older one is so little, then I wouldn't even bother doing that, particularly if you think there will be things from other people.
I would put some money in a savings account for him/her though - even if its just £20 to start them off. (Or some Premium Bonds if you have £100?) Younger ones never end up with the same amount in savings as pfbs do.

DaisyBabyShop · 12/09/2014 16:27

You could always try taking him out on a fun day out as opposed to giving him a physical present. Depending what you do or where you go it might ending up costing less or more, but it solves the problem of having to look for something you already have, and provides just as many photo opportunities. :)

gamerchick · 12/09/2014 16:29

Because a young baby cares about a fun day out?

wineoclocktimeye · 12/09/2014 16:30

DS2 was born at the beginning of December and he got a couple of small toys (old ones of DS1wrspped up) but only so DS1 didn't wonder why Father Christmas hadnt got his brother anything.

We asked Grandparents (who insisted on buying for both) for things we needed - the most useful was a big packet of nappies, all wrapped in Christmas paper!

TryingNotToLaugh · 12/09/2014 16:31

Ds was 6 weeks old at his first Christmas. I got him a little stocking and a present for his 2 yr old sister to open and play with.

She was very sweet; she even let him keep a few things

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