to have my DC at the home birth of their sibling?

[BabylonPoo]

There's a few weeks left until my due date and I'm having a home birth because my last DD was born very quickly in the end (only minutes after my waters broke when they'd been about to send me home.) My 2 yo has just been referred for assessment for ASD and would be absolutely hysterical at being cared for by anyone but DH and I as she is non-verbal and very wary of people. My 7 yo is very excited and interested in the birth, though obviously has the freedom to go off and play in her room/ability to say she's seen enough.

My friend had known I was having a home birth but assumed the DC would be elsewhere. She thinks they'll be traumatised and shouldn't be there. AIBU to have them there, for as long as they want to be there?

Also, no one needs to see their mum reduced to such a primal state like that.

Exactly. Why would you want your child to see you like that?

I honestly don't get why it would be traumatic. We had a cat who had kittens; my son and I watched mama cat give birth and it was beautiful.

Giving birth doesn't have to be a horrific and traumatic experience. My sons birth was but my daughters was magical.

I remember being absolutely petrified, confused and disgusted by the entire experience. I dont know that it left me traumatised but I have certainly wondered what on earth my mother was thinking to want me to be there.

Why would you want your child to witness you like that?

I wouldn't have felt comfortable or relaxed having my older DC there, and I didn't want them to see me going through labour. I arranged for a close friend to look after them. When it became clear that the DC were likely to wake up before I gave birth, DH called my friend & she collected them from our house at 7am. DS3 duly arrived an hour later - 17 years ago tomorrow

That reminds me of when my dad died and I went to see him, my tactless aunt said 'why do you want to go and look at your dead dad?' I didn't, funnily enough.

I wouldn't want my child to 'witness" me like anything but I WOULDN'T want them sent away, I WOULDN'T want them to be scared of giving birth, I WOULD want them to welcome their new sibling.

My DS was in the house when his sister was born and came in minutes afterwards (he is 7.) To be honest he's seen me in worse states and he's fine.

^Giving birth doesn't have to be a horrific and traumatic experience. My sons birth was but my daughters was magical.

I'd hardly call a screaming/mooing, sweat-soaked mother, water gushing out, straining piles, (possibly even a bit of poo), followed by a slimey, white coated baby and then bloody, gag-inducing placenta slithering out of a gaping, horrendously stretched fanjo a magical experience for any onlooker.
Especially a child!

Yes, child-birth is wonderful in a lot of ways, but lets face it - it is NOT a pretty picture!

In fact, I'm often amazed that husbands, after witnessing all that blood and guts coming out from down below during childbirth aren't put off sex with their wives for life!

maybe there's something to be said for when they paced the corridors instead
And came in when the gory part was over

YANBU. My two DS actually slept through the birth of DS3. He was born at 7am and I was quite loud so I was quite surprised they slept through. DS1 was nearly 5 and we talked about what it might involve if he was there. DS was 2.5. To be honest we reckoned they'd rather sit and watch Netflix instead and if not, they were more than welcome to watch from either end if they didn't get in the way. Mw who did the pre home birth assessment wasn't at all fussed, neither were the MWs who came here.

Perhaps it's because my husband is a doctor, but in our family no one really cares about gore, it's just what we all look like on the inside.

My daughters birth was magical, maybe you wouldn't describe it as such but luckily we all would. Fortunately we are all mature enough here to realise that the necessities of life don't always have to be aesthetically pleasing.