To think helping yourself out of someone else fridge is just RUDE..........even if you are 13!

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Minding friends child who opened my fridge and took out a chocolate bar without asking.

I'm to say the least. Do children actually do this? I would be devastated if mine did this someone else home .

I have had children in my house who did this. Or demanded specific items throughout the day (e.g. "Can I have some Coke?"). Or moaned about what they did get.

They only come to my house once.

I had similar with one of ds2's friends- although he was only 6 at the time.

He opened up my larder door and said 'I want a cake, like

Mrs devere, I can understand how you shouldn't have to put yourself out to stop it happening, but it affected you negatively, so surely it was in your interest to act?

Would you consider it not your issue if they started riffling through your wallet?

My D.D's friend helps herself in mine. I have no problems at all with it. Just glad she feels that comfortable around me to do that.

My cousin's kids used to do this in my parents house, long before I had any dc of my own and it bothered me then and would bother me now.

They would literally walk in the kitchen door, straight over to the cupboard where my mum kept treats and start rifling though it all to find what they fancied. They usually took a bite or two out of it, left it there and then moved onto the next item. Their mum would smile indulgently like what they were doing was the cutest thing in the world 'oh look she knows where the biscuits are, how cute' sort of thing. She was a crap mother when it came to discipline, if she ever said no (rare) the kids would whinge and whine so much that she pretty much always caved in and gave them whatever they wanted in the first place.

I wasn't even living there at that stage but was home visiting and on one occasion I trailed round after the kids picking up all the half eaten crap (biscuit, cake, bite-out-of-an-apple etc) and put everything onto a plate and when they asked for more stuff I produced the plate and said 'oh look you didn't finish any of this'. Kids just said 'yuk, don't want that, want crisps (or whatever) and the mum said nothing.

My mother defended her as I think they felt sorry for her...but it proper pissed me off and I always viewed those kids as very ill-mannered

That is incredibly rude and I'm sure the child knew it but obviously didn't care. I would be furious if my own children helped themselves to chocolate (or any other "treat") without asking let alone someone else's child.

Visiting 7 year old child did this at our house recently. Gave him a v stern talking to and it hasn't happened again!!! Hugely rude. YANBU.

Not rude. Just familiar. And not worth being outraged over. Be pleased its not something your own child would do, or its not something you think they'd do, and put it down to experience.

A colleague, about mid 40s, did this in the office over summer. We had bought chocolate for our meeting and she - not a member of our team, not coming to the meeting - walked in, picked up a bar and ate it, whilst nattering to someone outside in the corridor.

So those children don't necessarily change as they grow up!

(One of my team followed her back to her office and made a show of looking through it for replacement chocolate... she was not amused and got angry with him, he was embarrassing her, apparently!)

Yes, it's rude. My children wouldn't have even taken it out of our own fridge, without asking first. I would be absolutely astonished if a visiting child (or indeed adult) did it.

MrsDeVere - Sorry - but where exactly in the OP has it said that the house rules were 'help yourself'? Or indeed, that the parent of rifling child was able to step in? OP said she was minding that child, therefore, that child's parent was absent. That child was therefore incredibly rude. If that child had been in my house (with or without parent) I would have had something to say about them helping themselves. My house, my rules. No discussion. Do not open my fridge or cupboards without asking me first, and no, I do not need to put my fridge in the loft, or put a lock on it.

Manners!

Nephews did this years ago when staying with their parents at ours just helped selves and I said erm we ask in this house they were about 8+9 they also broke a window n were generally pains in the arse. They stayed again as teenagers n managed to dread mud over cream carpets parents are just as bad, they haven't stayed in 5-6yrs n are now young adults and won't be staying anytime soon. ( in-laws no direct relation of mine!)

Yes very rude I also hate when people allow their children yo charge upstairs when they arrive weather they know you or not

Also children who don't say hello I made my cousins child stand by the door I won't be ignored in my own home

Cariads - so would you be comfortable with allowing other people's children behaving this way in your house, when your own children would not do it in someone else's? How would you explain that to them in a way that they think it fair and reasonable?

It's fine for visitors to do it here, but you're not allowed to do it anywhere else

MrsDevere that child (the grape'n'raisin snaffler) probably had a major attack of the squirts.
Is that enough mwah ha ha revenge on the lazy indulgant mother, having to deal the the aftermath

MrsDeVere - I have not "ranted" at you. Merely responded to your quotes. You may have re-read mine, but have you re-read your own?
Do I really have to scroll through and repost all your comments (I will, but it will have to be later, as I am actually quite busy right now and it will take some time, but I will do it if you really think it necessary)!!
Try doing it yourself, and see what you come up with

MrsDeVere - here are a couple of your own quotes:

Helping yourself to food without asking is only 'feeling comfortable' if you know the house rules are 'help yourself'

op have you not considered putting the fridge in the loft when you have visitors?

I would expect a parent to get off their own arse and prevent their child rifling though someone's cupboards

My friend used to bring her kid round to mine.
The child was much much younger so I put no blame on them.

But my friend used to smile indulgently as her child helped themselves to box after box of my DC's lunch box raisins (I am talking five or six boxes) and other stuff. They would eat a whole bowl of grapes as well. Just climb up on the table at eat the lot.

She never once told her child to ask or to stop. It would leave me short for the week.

I expect that child is helping themselves to chocolate bars out of people's fridges as we speak.

MrsDeVere - sorry another of yours ^
Why wouldn't you say something at the time??? There are ways, suitable to you. I'd say it sternly, you might take a milder approach, but say it, however you choose!