AIBU to think that my ds is no longer "in the best place" when he is at school

[Itsjustmeagain]

I know that people are going to judge me harshly on this post and that I may end up offending someone but i really need honest opinions so I will try my best to fair!

My ds is 8 and has an iep for learning difficulties which are mainly to do with reading and writing. He has had various tests etc but they have all come back normal, no dyslexia etc IQ normal. For some reason though he is a number of years behind with reading and writing, last we were told at the end of last year he was reading at about the level of a 5 year old.

He has just started junior school and they have set the classes according to ability, obviously ds is in the bottom class and in the bottom group of the bottom class!. This is where the problem starts the group he is in is basically him and 3 other boys who have all got a massive reputation for bad behaviour and issues both at school and home. Ds has already come home in tears once and one of the boys has been in trouble for throwing a chair across the room. This group is together all day and because it is set by ability ds has very little chance of getting out of this group. Ds is well behaved and tries hard but tbh I feel like after a few years of this he wont be.

AIBU (or are dh and IBU!) to be considering taking him out of school altogether and home educating him. It seems like the school have given up on him and just bunched him together with these other boys regardless of the fact that his needs are very different to theirs.

Most children thrive on home education but why not try him in a different school first?

I would and did take my ds out to HE. He has autism though so that influenced our decision hugely.

yes we spoke to the all last year when we were told of the plan for this year and again yesterday but they just keep repeating the line that he is in the appropriate group for his ability and that he wouldn't cope with the work set to the other groups (the group he is in get totally different work). They are right he wouldn't cope with it so I am not really sure what I can expect them to do at school in reality.

Can I ask who did the tests? Was it school, or someone else?

My son has dysgraphia which is a writing form of dyslexia, but I had to push school for a referral to occupational health.

I know how difficult it is

little - they had someone from outside school do them we had a long report of what they DIDNT find wrong with him but not much else!

'He has had various tests etc but they have all come back normal, no dyslexia etc '

What tests has he had and who administered them?
The ability setting sounds extremely negative.

The infant school was fab but the junior school seem to just be trying to keep him busy rather than actually help him. He came home with spellings like "everything" today he cant even spell words like "they or "fish" so it clearly isnt the right work for him no matter what group he is in.

I think you need a different school with a bit more imagination. Provided he gets suitable work then he could be sat anywhere.

How depressing it must be for children to streamed like this at seven years old.

Why on Earth would somebody state in a report what they didn't find wrong with a child?
Was this person actually qualified to assess for dyslexia/other SEN?

Really - thats exactly what we are thinking he KNOWS he is behind as do we but at 7 does that have to determine the rest of his life?!

Beelte is was a big document with all the things they tested for and his score all of which fell within normal. So it was a bit of an anticlimax after all the waiting!

sorry 8 he just turned 8!

I would either move him or home ed - this school sounds awful.

'was a big document with all the things they tested for and his score all of which fell within normal' ...except they've told you that he's reading at the level of a 5 year old so something isn't right.

Beetle we actually have 3 other children at the school and it has been so great for them but they are all doing really well pretty much the opposite of ds. When ds first started there they were really helpful but as time has gone on and they have tried more things which have come to nothing its almost like they have just run out of helpful things to do/say.

They won't have given up on him and bunched him together with other children who completely different academically, even if it feels like it. Schools have limited resources and there's only so much they can do, it sounds like they will be doing as much as they can if they put your ds in a group of only four children and have done tests etc.

If you think you can do a better job of teaching him at home, then that's nothing stopping you from doing extra work during the holidays and at weekends, or even taking him out to HE altogether. But it doesn't sound like it would be easy, so make sure you know what you're doing first.

I would contact someone like dyslexia Action or Helen Arkell centre or similar, and ask for a talk to go through what testing has been done and to ask for advice. They may well be able to do this for a reasonable fee (under £100) and be able to give you an expert opinion on the testing and what it shows.

Taking your son out of this school sounds perfectly reasonable, he is unhappy and not having his needs met (and not learning).

If you have any questions about home ed, the MN home ed pages are very helpful and welcoming x

Kid - he was crying because he gets really anxious when anyone gets in trouble, he just hates any sort of confrontation at all. The boy I mentioned had been misbehaving all day and had basically been in trouble all day and ds just couldn't cope at all and ended up in tears. So no one is targeting him its just the general environment if that makes sense.

YANBU. That sounds awful and I would certainly do the same in your situation. HE works really well for lots of children. Sometimes they just need that one-one personal approach to get them on their way. I hope it works out for you.

Does he have a statement of SEN? If so I'd be looking at a change of placement, possibly a special school where he would probably receive teaching better suited to meet his needs and a more appropriate peer group.

If you are in a position to do it then HE sounds like the best option for him at this point, but if he is not making progress at all then there clearly is a problem of some sort, so I think I would be looking to combine HE with some further investigation (if you can afford it).

I am generally a strong proponent of school but I would absolutely agree that it doesn't seem like it is the best place for your poor DS right now.

Beetlemilk it's quite common to have a report that says something like according to a named test, this child was found to have a slow processing speed, however taken in conjunction with other standard named tests, this child does not show signs of dyslexia.

Whoever is writing the assessment, and they are qualified recognised professionals, (Ed Psych, SALT, OT etc.) will then outline any appropriate interventions for that particular child, even though they are not diagnosed with a 'label'.