AIBU to think that my ds is no longer "in the best place" when he is at school

[Itsjustmeagain]

I know that people are going to judge me harshly on this post and that I may end up offending someone but i really need honest opinions so I will try my best to fair!

My ds is 8 and has an iep for learning difficulties which are mainly to do with reading and writing. He has had various tests etc but they have all come back normal, no dyslexia etc IQ normal. For some reason though he is a number of years behind with reading and writing, last we were told at the end of last year he was reading at about the level of a 5 year old.

He has just started junior school and they have set the classes according to ability, obviously ds is in the bottom class and in the bottom group of the bottom class!. This is where the problem starts the group he is in is basically him and 3 other boys who have all got a massive reputation for bad behaviour and issues both at school and home. Ds has already come home in tears once and one of the boys has been in trouble for throwing a chair across the room. This group is together all day and because it is set by ability ds has very little chance of getting out of this group. Ds is well behaved and tries hard but tbh I feel like after a few years of this he wont be.

AIBU (or are dh and IBU!) to be considering taking him out of school altogether and home educating him. It seems like the school have given up on him and just bunched him together with these other boys regardless of the fact that his needs are very different to theirs.

insanity - no he doesnt have a statement its just an iep.

I don't think it's usual to state in a report that a child does not show signs of dyslexia.
It is usual to state the child's strengths and difficulties and describe their profile while not giving a 'label'
but to actually state, 'this child does not show signs of dyslexia' isn't usual IME, as diagnosing dyslexia is a process rather than an event.

beetle the report gave him a score on a sort of sliding scale and then underneath it was classed at "group A - shows no or minimal signs of dyslexia"

Are you in England, op? I think it is quite unusual for a state junior/primary school to stream whole classes. Most have ability groups/work differentiation within mixed ability classes I would maybe consider looking at other schools, as well as HE.

Did they use a screener?

Mrs - yes i am in England.

Beetle - to be totally honest I have no idea what that even is, the school said they were getting him assessed outside the school. Someone came in to the school to see him then about a month (?) later we were given this report. One teacher did mention that she thought he should be tested for an "auditory processing disorder" but when this initial report came back it seemed to just put an end to anymore testing.

Yanbu to move him, either to another school or HE. If he were to stay at this school, could he be moved down a year to be in a group with more suitable work and not be with the three people he is with now?

Perhaps home edding him will make the difference for him then. I hope it works out for you.

I don't see how the report can have come back with everything normal if he is 3 years behind his chronological age in reading. Could they find no reason for that at all?

It might well be worth you asking for an Education, Health and Care Needs Assessment. I suggest you also try phoning an organisation like SOS SEN or IPSEA (details available via the Special Needs boards).

We home educated two of ours, both with ASDs. It was the making of them. Ds2 is at uni now studying Lit, and dd2 is at sixth form.

Y would NBU to home educate him.

The great thing about home ed is that you can help him with literacy at exactly the right level for him, because you know him, and you can take time to work out with him which bits of reading have clicked and which haven't yet. And there's no hurry - it's not a race - you can read to him and scribe for him until he no longer needs you to.

At school, a huge amount of the curriculum, by age 8, is being accessed through literacy. Children are expected to read instructions and respond to them in writing.

But at home, you can TALK one to one about the things that he is interested in, you can answer his questions and his responses will show whether you are pitching it right or not.

Come on in to the Mumsnet HE topic - the water's lovely :)

Home ed. and watch him flourish!

Ask what is being done to cope with the child who throws chairs across the room; this is impeding your child's education, and others, and needs to be dealt with severely.
Ask what the school considers to be the cause of your child's learning difficulties; did the author of the report not meet you to give feedback?
This should have happened; if not, ask for a meeting to discuss it and proposals for the future.

If he was mine, I'd HE. Both because the 1:1 support he would get would be beneficial for his learning, and for the setting/behaviour issues. It may be that if you HE for a while, he can start to catch up, then re-join a different school.

I'd be happy to take a look at the report and give you a summary of what else should be looked at. PM me if you're interested and I can give you my professional background details. These are checkable online.

If I had assessed and not found dyslexia I would say that (it is not unusual to state what a child does not have if it has been specifically queried) but I would always suggest what else could be going on as well as recommendations for intervention.

Perhaps a change of school would be worth a try? My DH is dyslexic and was put in bottom set at school where the majority of children had behavioural problems (he didn't) and it really effected his enjoyment of school. He always wishes he could have gone to the local private school but failing that he wishes his parents had tried sending him elsewhere.

Have you considered home education? It works really well for children with SEN or emotional problems.

Whoops - should've read the whole thread :)