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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DS off school one day during his first week at primary?

53 replies

hollie84 · 07/09/2014 21:41

DS1 is starting school tomorrow - two weeks of half days before he goes full time!

However, I also work and accommodating all this faffing about is a total nightmare.

One day next week I just don't have anyone who can look after him for a half day and drop him at school etc. My only option is to drop the DC at my parents' house the night before, so they can stay there all day while I work.

AIBU to keep DS off school during his first week because childcare is too tricky otherwise?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 07/09/2014 22:14

I appreciate it's hard for working parents to deal with this, but schools don't do it to be bloody minded!

It's actually for the children's benefit. Especially with them starting at 4.

TattyDevine · 07/09/2014 22:15

I'm so glad my school don't do this. It's slightly patronising to the children who have been in nursery 8am - 6pm since they were 3 months old let's face it!

I don't even work but having had mine in preschool "full time" (i.e a school day) for the past couple of years it would be a right faff.

Nanny0gg · 07/09/2014 22:17

It's slightly patronising to the children who have been in nursery 8am - 6pm since they were 3 months old let's face it!

That doesn't apply to all children though, does it? Definitely not the case at my (rural) school.

Coolas · 07/09/2014 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
hollie84 · 07/09/2014 22:18

I think it's both for the children and the school/teachers benefit to be honest Nanny. The majority of children don't need 3 or 4 weeks before they actually go to school full time, especially as pretty much every child in his class has been at one of the two local pre-schools for 15+ hours a week for the last year.

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 07/09/2014 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliejjtiny · 07/09/2014 22:26

DS2 was part time until Easter when he was in reception. Thankfully I was a SAHM but it was a right faff and cost me a fortune in bus fares as I had to go back later in the day to collect DS1. YANBU but like a pp said, tell the truth to the school as your ds will definitely tell them and make you look silly if you say he's ill Smile

TattyDevine · 07/09/2014 22:29

No NannyOgg that is not what I was implying - my (also rural - not sure people work less hard here than in London but anyway) have a mix as well, and I am a SAHM but it just seems a little ridiculous, as I know very few children who haven't done full sessions at some point in their pre-school life so to do a few measly hours at school for weeks seems a backward step and implies parents have nothing else to do than go back and forth back and forth...having had 7 weeks holiday to cover, whether they work or not.

tethersend · 07/09/2014 22:31

If you can afford it, you are entitled to unpaid parental leave of up to five weeks.

This sort of situation is what it was designed for.

I understand if you don't think full time at school is in your son's best interests at the moment, but all children are entitled to full time schooling from the September after they turn four.

HumphreyCobbler · 07/09/2014 22:32

In no school I have ever worked has it been thought necessary to do such a protracted induction period. All the children have been fine. I do wonder why schools do it?

DS's school start them full time from day one, but stagger the intake over three days. The children manage fine, even the little ones.

Original poster
hollie84 · 07/09/2014 22:33

I can't take any leave in term times unfortunately.

OP posts:
tethersend · 07/09/2014 23:04

You can if you meet these criteria, hollie:

Employees qualify if all of these apply:

they’ve been in the company for more than a year
they’re named on the child’s birth or adoption certificate
they have or expect to have parental responsibility
they’re not self-employed or a ‘worker’ - eg an agency worker or contractor
they’re not a foster parent (unless they’ve secured parental responsibility through the courts)
the child is under 5 (or 18 in special circumstances)

Although you must give 21 days' notice to your employer.

mummymeister · 07/09/2014 23:17

hollie go and speak to the class teacher one to one. explain the dilemma. ask if your dc can stay for the full day that day. our dc should have had staggered starts being the youngest in their class. however, we live in a rural area some distance from the school and therefore they agreed to take all 3 DC full time from the start. the teacher will surely want to be flexible. tethersend accept what you say but not 21 days until the issue arises so doesn't apply.

tethersend · 07/09/2014 23:28

Yes, the notice period is a problem for the OP, but the information might be useful for someone else.

chocolatemademefat · 08/09/2014 00:56

Just do what you have to. At that age they're not doing anything complicated anyway. It's half a day.

LetTheRiverAnswer · 08/09/2014 01:10

If staggered starts are important for the child to settle in gently, then an extra days rest being spoilt by his grandparents will be thoroughly good for him Smile

BitOutOfPractice · 08/09/2014 03:13

If you have other options with CM / friends then you should do that

MrsMook · 08/09/2014 07:11

I'm hoping that DS doesn't have a phased start next year as the only option for his childcare is in school or keeping him at nursery a bit longer. There is no one local avaliable to run around and look after him as everyone else I know works. I can not miss all my first lessons of the year. They are essential to establishing a good relationship for the year with my pupils. In this case, their educational detriment would be far higher than DS's.

Original poster
hollie84 · 08/09/2014 07:14

tethersend - your employer isn't obliged to give you parental leave whenever you want it, they can delay it for business reasons.

OP posts:
combust22 · 08/09/2014 07:20

"all this faffing about is a total nightmare"

Prepare for it to get worse.

AngelsOnHigh · 08/09/2014 07:22

I think it's a silly idea to send DC half days.

The thing is though, the schools are not babysitters and they don't revolve around a persons working life.

financialwizard · 08/09/2014 07:25

Personally I'd speak to the school and explain the circumstances. They may well say keeping him out of school is the best option.

Original poster
hollie84 · 08/09/2014 07:26

Unfortunately working lives are a reality Angels - what alternative do you suggest?

OP posts:
combust22 · 08/09/2014 07:39

I think it is a great idea sending kids to school for half days to start with.

Madamecastafiore · 08/09/2014 07:41

Can't your dad stay at your house and take them to school?

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