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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 3 & 5 yr old shouldn't be out alone?

45 replies

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 15:58

Walking to the park today we passed a child that DS1 goes to school with and his younger sister who were walking back from the park alone. Their houSe is approx 5 mins walk from the park...there were no parents in sight! It is not the first time that I have seen the boy at the park alone but can't believe they would let him also take the little one with him. We live in a small (ish) town which is generally quite safe but am I being unreasonable and unnecessarily paranoid to think that children this young should not be left to go to the park alone???

OP posts:

ilovepowerhoop · 07/09/2014 16:28

no they shouldnt be out alone and the 5 year old shouldnt have the responsibility of looking after a 3 year old

gingerbreadroll · 07/09/2014 16:30

I think you need to quietly tell the school about it.

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 16:30

My DD aged 5 ( very mature for her age) goes out to play with her friends in the cul de sac, I go and check on her every 10 minutes.

I think 3 is a bit too young

DefiniteMaybe · 07/09/2014 16:33

I wouldn't let my 5 year old to the park by himself never mind let him take his 3year old sister.
I'm not particularly pfb either, he's allowed to the shop by himself. I think I would mention it to school.

Lally112 · 07/09/2014 16:37

ehm, yes. its perfectly normal here. all the kids play out, go to the park, over the fields, up the shops without adults, as long as they tell where they are going first. This would be unusual is some inner city place but in some areas like where we live its just the done thing, they don't need tied to your hip all the time.

ElizaCBennett · 07/09/2014 16:37

Why speak to the school? If you are not happy about it you should speak to the parents. There is no need to involve the school at all IMHO. It is not their job to police parents after all.

rainbowinmyroom · 07/09/2014 16:39

Lally lives in cloud cuckoo land. YANBU. Tell the school.

zoemaguire · 07/09/2014 16:43

Lally where is 'here'? I want to move to wherever it is Sounds great. Where we are, not a chance, sadly.

ilovechristmas1 · 07/09/2014 16:43

no they should not be out on their own whether 5 or 3

seriously do you need to ask

bomchikawowwow · 07/09/2014 16:47

"they don't need tied to your hip all the time"

No. But there's a middle ground with a THREE year old, surely?

WineWineWine · 07/09/2014 16:49

I would speak to the school. There is no point in approaching the parents because they are already doing what they consider to be acceptable. The school will be aware if there are any other concerns and can escalate it if they feel it is necessary.

No it is not acceptable for a 5yr old to be out supervising a 3yr old.
Neither are capable of crossing roads safely and do not have the life skills to be able to cope with difficult situations. Kids get hurt in parks, they fall over or fall off things. How on earth is a small child supposed to manage that on their own?

bouncingbelle · 07/09/2014 16:49

Where I live is quite as Lally describes - all the kids walk to school themselves, play out from an early age, go to the park alone etc. however, even the most lax of parents around here would not let a 3 year old go to the park in the care of a 5 year old.

I would speak to the school actually - no point speaking to the parents as obv they don't see anything wrong with it!

Floggingmolly · 07/09/2014 16:51

You've obviously found Utopia, lally, but for the rest of us; no, letting a three and five year old go to the park, or "over the fields" (!) unaccompanied is neglect, actually.

Lally112 · 07/09/2014 16:52

ex mining village in rural Scotland, everyone knows everyones business, if a stranger walks into a pub or shop here the whole place falls silent and stares and the biggest crime we had was some garden ornaments going missing from local teens.

Seriously I would send DD to the shop with a note from me at 4 or 5, all the kids play out in the street together and they go to the park my themselves as long as they come in and tell me where they are going, I have two three year olds and sometimes I let them go to the park with DD (who is now nine) but when dd was about 4 she would go with her brother who would have been 6 and other kids from the scheme.

DS who is now 11 and in his last year at primary gets the bus by himself and goes into the nearest town and back or goes away cycling on his bike with his friends along an old railwayline that's now a cycletrack for miles with his friends. you cant keep them cooped up forever.

DiaDuit · 07/09/2014 16:52

I live 100 child's footsteps (we counted) from the park across one busy small residential and one quiet residential road and i wouldn't let my 5yo go alone. Never mind a 3 YO.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 07/09/2014 16:53

I wouldn't let the 3 year old.

The 5 yo, it depends on a lot of things. We live pretty much opposite the park but I wouldn't let them go alone because there's a reasonably busy road the other side of the park, there's a pond and a woods - which would be toooo tempting.... however, my friend lives in a very nice, very modern, new build type place and there is a little play park in the middle of that about a 5 minute walk from their house. Barely any traffic, lots of kids playing out, lots of small children there on their own... I'd consider it, but only for the 5yo, not the 3yo.

FraidyCat · 07/09/2014 16:53

How is children going from home to a park (and back) anything to do with a school?

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 07/09/2014 16:55

Sounds lovely Lally :)

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 07/09/2014 16:56

Lally- an ideal place for a predator to lurk around then? I can't believe you seem to think the choice is coop them up or let them roam free and compromise their safety!

MassaAttack · 07/09/2014 17:00

Like a wolf or something, sharon?

Most places no, it's not ok. Others it's alright.

rainbowinmyroom · 07/09/2014 17:01

I live in a similar place to lally. Unfortunately, it is not closed to road traffic and, as everyone knows everyone, if your 3-year-old were out wondering with a 5-year-old you'd soon have a knock on your door very concerned for you as it's pretty stupid for 3-year-olds to be out on their own with a 5-year-old in charge.

bigTillyMint · 07/09/2014 17:03

I would be worried about both children out on their own. Presumably they had to walk along a street with cars passing by to get there?

I was playing out on my own when I was five, but it was just side-streets where you would rarely get one car an hour (this was a long time ago and not many people had cars round our way then) plus there were always much older children playing with us/keeping an eye on us.

If you don't know the parents or don't feel confident about it, go in and raise your concerns with the HT.

MexicanSpringtime · 07/09/2014 17:04

Historically speaking, when my mum was five and her brother three they used to go to stay with relatives in the country and every week had to move on to the next place they were going on foot and by themselves for a couple of miles.

My sister, when she was two, would go walking to her godmother's house half a mile away only accompanied by a small dog.

And I used to send my dd to school on the city bus by herself at the age of five.

From what I understand stranger danger is no worse than it was when my mother was a child.

moxon · 07/09/2014 17:08

Lally and bouncingbelle - how wonderful! I'd love to move where you are. I do so miss the days of kiddies being able to do these things. Responsibility within their means!

littleducks · 07/09/2014 17:08

I lived in an estate where it was the norm.

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