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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 3 & 5 yr old shouldn't be out alone?

45 replies

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 15:58

Walking to the park today we passed a child that DS1 goes to school with and his younger sister who were walking back from the park alone. Their houSe is approx 5 mins walk from the park...there were no parents in sight! It is not the first time that I have seen the boy at the park alone but can't believe they would let him also take the little one with him. We live in a small (ish) town which is generally quite safe but am I being unreasonable and unnecessarily paranoid to think that children this young should not be left to go to the park alone???

OP posts:

Lucyccfc · 07/09/2014 17:11

Had a similar issue a couple of years ago when a 5 year old from DS's class used to cross the main road and come and play on our estate, generally followed by his 3 year old brother. I used to cross them both back over the road and send them home.

I did mention it to the school and was asked to write down the dates and times. Found out some time later that all the kids had been taken into care. Whilst the 5 year and 3 year old were wandering off to our estate, the mother was at home, pissed in charge of 5 or 6 other siblings.

Original poster

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 17:15

I'm glad it's not just me then. As I said it is a smallish town and generally quite safe...I would happily nip to the shops and leave the doors/windows open/unlocked. Was similar to Dallys town when I was a kid. This doesn't however mean that I would let the kids out past our road alone and there is no way I would expect DS1 to look after DS2. The reason I was concerned was because the youngest was stood in the middle of the road as we were crossing...her brother had walk on slightly. There were no cars around and I hurried her on but it still rings alarm bells to me. I'm not sure who at the school would be best to speak with tbh...or whether id feel like I was sticking my nose in. DS1 now wants to know why a child in the year below him is allowed to the park alone and he isn't. sighs

OP posts:

ThatBloodyWoman · 07/09/2014 17:16

5 and 3.
No way.
No way.

Original poster

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 17:18

From what I can gather and the little I know of the family they sound very similar Lucy As we walked home from the park the fatter drive past us with two of the younger children in the car...both stood up (not strapped in) on the back seat.

OP posts:

Original poster

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 17:19

farther not fatter!

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ilovechristmas1 · 07/09/2014 17:19

we were pretty much left to our own devices aged 6-7 in the holidays etc

we lived next to a common loads of kids about but in the few years we were flashed at,beckoned over by adult males and chased,dirty mags in the bushes

sexual assault and abuse has only recently become ok to talk about,all those accounts by adults now are coming through how they were assaulted,groomed,raped etc and these people as children were often out and about at the ages we are talking about

of course i have never told my parents what we saw or experienced but i do remember very well

and im sure it hasnt stopped in the last 30yrs

im sure are parents thought it was ok to let us out

Lally112 · 07/09/2014 17:23

the closest thing we have to a predator is one of the farm collies, either that or a bloody fox . it does depend on the place, I was born in this village (on the farm I still work on - just over the field) and I will more than likely die in the village and in my entire lifetime there has never been one single abduction or murder or accusations of paedophilia etc, there was one wee boy in the 70s who fell in the village loch and drowned but that was even before my time and most of the kids aren't allowed down the loch unless their dads take them fishing or something.

Icimoi · 07/09/2014 17:28

How sure are you that they were on their own? Might they have been supervised by relatives or friends who you wouldn't recognise?

LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 07/09/2014 17:28

Please mention it to school as this might be a piece in a bigger picture.

Ask to speak to the safeguarding officer at school, and then they can advise you.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 07/09/2014 17:37

Oh well if NOBODY has ever come to harm then of course it must be safe I mean everyone knows in real life it's only places where someone comes to harm every week that there is any need to safeguard your children

StickEmUpYourShnozz · 07/09/2014 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 17:52

I am 100% they were alone...there was no one else in the park and only another elderly man walking past who didn't speak to them and went in the opposite direction at the t junction. Their older brother (probably about 8yrs) rode past the park on his bike with a friend about 15 mins later so he may have been asked to keep an eye on them and just didn't do a very good job?!?! I still don't think if that's the case that he should be given the responsibility of looking after them...I'm an adult and can still struggle to keep my two under control at times...how can a 5 or 8 year old be expected to do the same?? They live in a little cul-de-sac where there are plenty of other children around so struggle to understand why their parents would feel it was necessary to go to the park alone.

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m0therofdragons · 07/09/2014 17:57

Oh dear I worry about my 6yo and 2 3yos playing alone in the garden while I cook dinner (kitchen at front of the house). I'd trust the 6yo but completely unfair to put her in charge of 3yos. I wouldn't let 6yo go to the park alone despite it being a 3 minute walk with no roads... Tbh I don't think she'd want to. They are young for such a short time.

gingerbreadroll · 07/09/2014 19:21

Safeguarding absolutely is part of the schools job! And approaching the parents isn't the way to go.

Lucyccfc · 07/09/2014 19:42

PeggySue

We could be talking about the same family!

Father regularly drives round with a car full of kids, standing up and hanging out of the windows, whilst he smokes.

Original poster

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 19:53

Lucy I've not ever seen him smoking tbh but it could easily be the same people I suppose. We are in the SW...

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Original poster

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 19:55

I wouldn't feel comfortable speaking to the family about it...but may raise with the school. I don't like to seem like a busy body...but couldn't love with myself if something happened and I hadn't said anything!

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tshirtsuntan · 07/09/2014 20:26

Maybe contact the nspcc, they are there for this kind of thing and can advise you who to speak to about this or intervene on the children's behalf.

Original poster

peggysue82 · 07/09/2014 20:32

That's a good idea Tshirt.

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Aeroflotgirl · 07/09/2014 21:00

I feel 5 is very young even 6 to go to the park on your own, let alone in charge of another child, its neglect imo. I would call 101, and tell the school.

I was in the park with my 2 dc, and 2 little girls came up to us and started to ask questions, they said they were 6, volunteered information about their school, and where they lived. I was a stranger to them. I asked them if they were with an adult, and they pointed to a lad quite away playing football, and said yes my 11 year old brother. What if I had been someone with a sinister motive! At that age, they still however mature you think they are, do not have the skills to keep themselves safe, and the cognitive skills to react to danger.

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