To be so frustrated and depressed by my neighbourhood

[Slowdownsally]

I posted the other day about my bully of a neighbour who was accosting other people demanding to know if they were the ones who had reported her to social services for neglecting her children.

I look out my window just now to see: a seven year old riding a scooter up and down the street with no parents in sight, I can hear a toddler crying in tiredness while his parents and friends drink in the streets and there's a whole other group of them also in their front gardens drinking whilst their small children play in the road.

Granted there's no real traffic to speak of, but it just seems so wrong.

There's at least four separate households where the parents couldn't give a stuff about their kids: they are only interested in themselves. The children are left out all the time and in the evenings they just sit outside everyone else's front doors drinking and chatting with their children playing in the street til 11pm.

Is this really what people do? I feel like I'm losing my compass as to what is normal parenting when I see this all the time. It won't stop when they are back at school either as none of them work.

Aibu to think this is wrong and to be frustrated that they all think this is normal parenting?

I just did a silent air punch and cheer! One of my nice neighbours has just stuck her head out the window and told them to shut up and stop kicking a ball at her front door.

(They've duly disappeared for a bit)

I'm not sat here head out the window btw; my back window opens straight out to them and their houses.

I never really understand how the 'underclass' as it is being called has been 'let down' by the government and by education in particular.

I think children are and must be parents responsibility first and foremost. However, after a certain age children spend most of their time in school.
So this is a good opportunity to work with children from deprived backgrounds.

To help them break the cycle.

It would benefit us all as a society wouldnt it.

Recently had some students staying with me, working at local school, They went to problem class and the students were rude, said there was no point in working as they were all drug dealers anyway and would continue to do so, as there wa snothing else.

the school had been failing ( previously for decades excellent rep) many teachers were in process of being laid off.

I just think for a large group of boys to have that attitude at 14 is really really sad.

well kids have school tomorrow and im sure some in the street will be in bed trying to get to sleep,well done your neighbour some people are selfish and just dont think of others

The MC just do their all day drinking indoors.

There's a huuuuge difference between a glass of wine and a chat while keeping an eye on the kids and getting knee-walking drunk, screaming and swearing, while the kids run around with no one watching them.

There you all are looking down on those nasty WC council estate people.

Still makes you feel better about your own perfect lives, eh?

I think its already been established its not wc and I look down on anyone who repeatedly causes others misery by partying all the time, out doors, and a child kicking a ball agaisnt someones door repeatedly.

You dress it up as concern for the 'underclass'

Really it's just an excuse to have a good old sneer at people who are not like you.

Don't tell me what I am doing or thinking thanks.

I don't think OP or other posters are looking down on working class people. These are not working class, they are lazy selfish layabouts who lack the basic family/social values.
Where I live we have a lot of similar families. They do not and will not work. They are in the minority but cause more ructions than the majority of resident; mostly working class like myself.

We have just given up a HA house for the exact same behaviour from a few families. It would start from the minute they woke up. The music (always tuneless rave stuff) would be on full blast, they'd have bottles of cider and endless cigarettes until gone midnight.
The kids just ran and shouted all over the estate being ignored by their parents.
We stuck that house for a year and moved a couple of months ago into a private let.
Although the house isn't amazing the lovely area and normal neighbours make up for it.

Well I can only speak for myself and my close friends. We all work full-time. We all worked hard at school- local comps- come from decent working class families who had dignity and self-respect. None of us sit at home drinking through the day, none of us smoke or take drugs or are on benefits. We all pay our own way- some with much higher salaries than others but we all pay our own way.

I have no problems with a welfare state- I applaud it. But anyone on it should not be better off on it than working. They should not have money for alcohol and cigarettes when they are telling schools they can't afford an £8.00 school jumper.

We have children at our school who have one polo shirt they wear all week and they are filthy. You can buy 2 for £5 or less in Asda. Their parents afford cigarettes and booze. That is the problem- parents who put their needs first because they feel 'entitled' to certain things. These are the kind of people who end up on things like the disgusting Jeremy Kyle Show which takes advantage of them.

Governments have spent tens of millions on the estates near our school in the last 10-12 years- money into schools, Surestarts, social services programmes, tackling, youth crime initiatives. There is no incentive for these families to change - life would be tougher for them without the council, the social workers, the money for a new washing machine because they can't afford one and the children's clothes are dirty. But they can afford cars and cigarettes and booze and tattoos. It is a horrible mess.

What the government needs to do is break up these areas. Knock some of the crap housing down and build private housing there instead. So you get rid of these sink estates or bits of estates with wider social cross- sections of society. Spread out the problem families and dilute their effects. OK so you would not get the highest cost private housing there but you could definitely improve the mix. I think this would help raise aspirations generally.

I'm not sneering, I'm at the end of my tether with a handful of deeply unpleasant, irresponsible arseholes whose kids have little to no hope of becoming anything other than like their parents or badly damaged by their actions.

We're all council tenants, including me and a complete mix of backgrounds.

Why so aggro about the thread? I'd love nothing better than to find a service that could help them and to be able to get on with them if they could be civilised.

As it is they couldn't care less about anyone apart from themselves... Not even their kids.

yeah you probably have something there lulu its like a ghetto isnt it, lost to time and everything else but i dont like any sort of estate really, poor or rich, i like more interesting housing.

people i know are excited to move to estates where new builds are 450 and your all crunched up cheek by jowl with neighbours I don't like estates.

you can be in normal area then turn down one road and your in a totally different place.

Lukey thinks all council house tenants are disgusting dirty benefit claiming layabouts.

So, I will leave you to compare notes with her.

Have fun.

Lulu they can't "knock down these houses" and build private ones! There's already a housing crisis. Not enough homes.

But...there does need to be something done to address the problems which are being handed down the generations.

Quite what I don't know. :(

I grew that mixed estates are a good idea - the labour government of the 90s did that a lot. Unfortunately Cameron and the Tories have stopped that and instead give developers every opportunity to avoid having social housing in the mix.

Also, just about every service you list has been it in the last four years: you the youth service is completely dismantled and cut; sure start also cut to pieces, benefits much reduced, most grants are gone.

It is going to get far worse given the current levels of poverty and the lack of earning opportunities.

It only "pays more" to be on benefits when wages are so low (as they are now) and there's no pressure on employers to improve pay or working conditions - quite the opposite with zero hours contracts every where.

I live on an estate with a little of these issues and what I have noticed is that among the high percentage of lone Mothers is a camaraderie which exists. They support one another and spend hours of each day together in small groups or pairs...with their children or with them nearby.

These seem to be like substitute family units in which the women keep one another company, lend money where necessary and help one another do jobs such as shopping and cleaning gardens.

They do drink a fair bit in their groups too and yes, their kids play out late in the street.

What they all seem to have in common is being young, poor and in need of practical assistance as well as company.

Mrs I was on estate the other day and could see some regeneration of the older style homes and new three story ones going up.

That's not the same as knocking all the council houses down.

Mrswinnebago- that's interesting and I can see exactly why that would happen.

Weirdly, it's the complete opposite here- it's the large families with couples causing the big problems and the single parents hiding out and keeping a low profile because we're intimidated by them. It's much harder To give someone a telling off or even just ask someone to keep it down when you're own with a child/ren as you are much more vulnerable and have no back up.

When there are private developments there are often section 106 properties which become social housing - these are properties that the developer has to provide as a condition of planning. There are usually a number of rental properties and also shared ownership on new developments. These are often 'pepperpot' and sprinkled around the development. This usually works pretty well socially with the people who live n the development. With the bigger estates there are often dominant families who cause trouble for the others, which is why it's so important for the housing staff to keep on top of any problems, make sure tenants keep to the conditions do their tenancy agreements and be prepared to evict where necessary.

even with the mix as op says though its only a handful of families doing it, we have had problems here too but its young men drinking fighting and so on, all crammed into tiny house. all it takes is one bad lot and many other lives near them are badly affected,

maybe firmer sanctions are needed,