to think its weird to read your partners texts/emails?

[SailorEverRose]

I'm not trying to be all "cool wife" but I just can't see a reason for ever checking a partners phone. The only reason I would is because I thought they were cheating.

I have nothing to hide and no secrets from my partner but I wouldn't want anyone reading through my personal messages, so why would I do it to someone else?

I've read DHs texts when his phone has been near me and a text has just arrived and flashed up on the screen. I think it's natural to look at the little piece of technology that has just made a noise and lit up right next to you, not wierd.

But I can't think of any reason to actually check a phone unless you are already suspicious, or you are a jealous control freak.

I think there is a massive difference between checking through your partners texts/emails and shouting to your partner who is in another room "love, Rich has text you" which is something my dh and I do regularly. We both use each others phones all the time, I use his as he has unlimited data and I don't and he likes to play the games I have on my phone that aren't available on his (one iphone, one windows) so for us as a couple its natural that we see each others texts a lot. There isn't an issue but if either of us were to sit down and purposely trawl through our whole text folders then I'd be worried, only reason I see to do that is lack of trust

We both leave our phones lying around & tell each other if they've got a message. We wouldn't read each other's though, unless invited.

Many years ago we were both unfaithful during a marital low point, & the behaviour relating to phones & computers then was completely different.

I do. I'm nosy though.

I think there is a massive difference between checking through your partners texts/emails and shouting to your partner who is in another room "love, Rich has text you" which is something my dh and I do regularly

It's just not something I'd do I guess, if his phone beeped I would just leave it and then when he came back into the room I'd say - you've just got a text.

If it's urgent then the person probably wouldn't be texting him but they'd be calling him. If his phone did ring I'd never answer it and would go take it to him.

I wouldn't read DH's messages unless he shows me. It feels wrong. A bit like reading someone's diary, uninvited.

I do. I'm incredibly insecure though, and we've talked about it at length in the past. DH is happy with this though, and he is free to look at mine any time.

I check dhs email when I know he's waiting for something.
He checks mine as its the one we use to order from amazon

I can't read dh's texts - I have no idea how to use his blackberry.

He reads mine for me when I can't find my specs.

I check dhs email when I know he's waiting for something

Why? I can check my email at pretty much any moment by looking at my phone.

I don't know my husband's code for his phone so couldn't check if i wanted too. Not on Facebook so can't check that either. I do know his e mail password as i set it up but can't be bothered. Like me he is a crap liar so no need to check

I have never ever read a DPs messages until last year, I was in the throws of a chemical menopause/ivf cycle (if you have been there you will know but no excuses I accept that) I woke at 4am and decided I needed to check his phone, I somehow accidentally called his brother!! I was furiously trying to press cancel it was an iPhone but it rang, I had to go and lie in bed next to him wide awake and confess when he woke, not my finest moment and lesson learnt! Cringe!!

I don't read my DPs messages/emails/FB anything and he doesn't read mine. Just wouldn't occur to either of us to do so and I'm quite happy with that.

A friend of mine does with her DP and seems to think it gives her liberty to have a look through your phone if you show her something - ie a funny photo or whatever. She doesn't get to hold my phone now.

seems to think it gives her liberty to have a look through your phone if you show her something - ie a funny photo or whatever. She doesn't get to hold my phone now.

It's an unwritten rule when someone hands you their phone to look at something you do not swipe right

JuniDD, I hate it when people do that!! Bloody rude.

No, I don't think it's necessary to check your partner's emails or texts. I have nothing to hide, but it's too creepily 'we are one person' for me. And I'm not interested in reading my OH's emails/texts from other people.

We leave our phones lying around and if a message flashes up I glance if it's near me, and might call him over if it looks urgent. He does the same for me, especially if I'm out as sometimes playdates text me to postpone/change time etc. In the car if a message arrives and he's driving, I read it. We both know each other's personal codes (not our work mobile ones obviously as we both work in sensitive areas).

I imagine if someone is cheating they probably have another phone and keep it hidden / always keep their phone on them even in the loo.

I don't, but I might say oh you have a message off your nan/mum whoever if it flashes up. I reckon I'd be bored stiff if I read his texts and vice versa

I'd be very annoyed if my DH read my texts or emails and would expect the same in reverse.

It is like reading someone's diary or opening their letters in my view. It's fine if you're asked to but not unless.

Back in the day when the only contact was by landline,when the phone rang it was normal to say 'who' was that'? Not nosey just chatty.Txts and 'silent' phone calls can seem to be a bit sus if the reciever wont discuss them.

Big no, why would you need to?
If you're worried about cheating then tackle it, don't snoop. If you feel the need to check your Dh txts because of your insecurity or his behaviour there are discussions that need to be had or problems to be addressed.

I would be really furious id Dh read mine - not because of content but because of trust.

I only check texts and messages if they're for a business proposal we're both involved with or am reading off to him what someone wrote.

Really though, I don't care enough to check.

My husband doesn't have a phone.

He doesn't read mine unless I ask him to read something out if I am busy.

However, he often uses my phone for apps like banking etc so he has access to my phone whenever he wants. I doubt he has any interest in reading my messages though.

It's usually if hes say, applied for a new job and I'm more keen than him to know if they've replied yet

I wouldn't read DP's texts/emails, etc. I don't think there's anything untoward going on, plus he can't lie or keep secrets (well if he does try, it's really obvious).

He told me one of his passwords, but I haven't and wouldn't use it. As other posters have said, the most I'll do is check his phone without unlocking if I think I've heard a text, and tell him he's got a message. Can't see who it's from or what it says on the home screen though.

I would be annoyed/upset if he checked any of my messages on the sly, not because there's anything scandalous there (unless texts from Dominos are signs of an adventurous life) but because it's underhand. Plus I'd happily let him bore himself reading them if he asked outright.

We are probably 'creepy one person' but also very uninteresting. We have each other's email accounts on our phones as well as our own so we can check easily if using the other's phone for some reason. And we read each other's texts sometimes in bored moments to see what's going on. We absolutely trust each other - we have such dull lives that we don't really have much to hide. I used to be in a relationship with a cheater and would never ever have looked at his emails or texts as he was intensely private about them - for obvious reasons. We each use work emails for receipts for gifts etc. I know lots of people would hate the idea but it works for us.