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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off at my flatmate?

51 replies

elvenbread · 06/09/2014 08:05

She knows it's a big weekend for me. I have an event today and tomorrow that I need to be at my best for. She came home drunk about midnight with a guy. They were so bloody clouding talking and shouting downstairs that I could hear them for well over an hour and it took me over two hours to get back to sleep. Then st 7 this morning he left so I got woken up again with doors bashing. She'll sleep all day and I'll not be able to. She bloody knew this weekend was important.
I am actually so angry that I'm considering handing her notice. She's late 20s so should know how to be considerate. Any other weekend I would be a bit cross but I'd survive but grrrr ffs.

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 06/09/2014 08:10

YABU. Her life can't stop because of your event. Of course it's rude to be loud but flat sharing isn't a walk in the park.

PossumPoo · 06/09/2014 08:10

Yabu. Sorry that's the joys of sharing. It does suck and it would have been nice for you to have the quiet you wanted.

ditavonteesed · 06/09/2014 08:12

ear plugs are your friends.

Original poster
elvenbread · 06/09/2014 08:15

It's my house. Surely quiet for one weekend isn't too much to ask for.

OP posts:
PumpkinsMummy · 06/09/2014 08:18

It's not just your house though if she is legitimately renting from you. It is her home as well and although some consideration is nice, as PP said she is entitled to a life. You don't get to be the boss just because you own the house/sub-let it, that is the down side to sharing I'm afraid.

Sorry to sound harsh, I do feel bad for you, but I have been that sub letter and it's horrible feeling that your home isn't your own as someone else is dictating all the rules etc.

MrsWinnibago · 06/09/2014 08:20

Eleven you share your house though...she pays rent. You can't expect her to dance to your tune all the time as her right is to enjoy the home as much as you do.

glenthebattleostrich · 06/09/2014 08:23

I agree with you op, when you house share you have to have some consideration for those you share with.

Fanfeckintastic · 06/09/2014 08:25

YABU, sorry

Original poster
elvenbread · 06/09/2014 08:25

I don't expect her to dance to my tune all the time. It's 1 weekend. 1 fucking weekend.

OP posts:
NynaevesSister · 06/09/2014 08:26

If you specifically asked for consideration that one weekend and are normally ok to compromise all other weekends then YADNBU. I would also want to give her notice.

Janethegirl · 06/09/2014 08:26

YANBU

LiberalLibertines · 06/09/2014 08:30

So she only made noise for one hour? You couldn't get back to sleep for another two?

That's not her fault.

Did you specifically ask her to not being anyone back?

Sorry,I do think your being a bit unreasonable, are you pissed off with her in general?

Original poster
elvenbread · 06/09/2014 08:33

Liberal it is her fault I coukdnt get back to sleep. She woke me in the first place. Yes I'm cross with her in general too. The place is a pig sty. Infact while she was out getting pissed I was scrubbing the bathroom.

OP posts:
NoodleOodle · 06/09/2014 08:34

Yanbu. Yes, you're sharing the house with her, but only for as long as you are happy to... If she's pissed you off too much then kick her out.

HannerHet · 06/09/2014 08:38

YABU. She was inconsiderate to wake you up, but she shouldn't have to put her life in hold for your event. Can we ask what this event is?

LiberalLibertines · 06/09/2014 08:38

Yeah, sounds like you need a new flatmate.

Hope your event goes ok today, start with lots of coffee, and alcohol when you can Wink

londonrach · 06/09/2014 08:38

Yabu and yanbu. It's her home too so she can make noise (Yabu) but she shares it so has to make allowances for anyone else who might need to get up early. (Yanbu)

HannerHet · 06/09/2014 08:38

On hold

wigglylines · 06/09/2014 08:39

You say "it's my house". Is she a lodger rather than a flatmate?

PoppadomPreach · 06/09/2014 08:44

YANBU. Yes of course the OP cannot force her to "put her life on hold" but, as with many things in life,sometimes you really would think common decency would prevail and she might have considered your day (assuming such days are few and far between and you are not requesting peace and quiet every weekend?)

Life's to short for crappy flat mates - give her her notice.

Original poster
elvenbread · 06/09/2014 08:56

Wigglylines. Yes she's a lodger. Poppadom. It's the only event so no it's not a regular thing. First and last time.

OP posts:
Bailey101 · 06/09/2014 08:59

YANBU - I've had lodgers in the past, and if I got woken up in the middle of the night I would not have been amused. It was also made completely clear to my lodgers before they moved in that it was not acceptable to bring randoms home after drunken nights out.

If she's an actual flat mate with as much say as you, then there's not really a lot you can do but if she's your lodger then you can tell her that she's not to behave like that or else she'll be evicted.

Bailey101 · 06/09/2014 09:02

Just saw that she's a lodger - tell to her to act like a considerate adult or you'll give her notice.

Original poster
elvenbread · 06/09/2014 09:04

She's a lodger.

OP posts:
ILovePud · 06/09/2014 09:04

I don't think you're being unreasonable, flat shares need a bit of consideration and reciprocity to work. If you were asking for this kind of allowance every other weekend then I'd say you were BU but this was a one off and if she can't even show a bit of consideration knowing what you had on then I'd be contemplating getting rid too. Hope it goes well this weekend.

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