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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To loathe the council for making this decision about awarding a grant to my disabled dad?

73 replies

Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 18:44

My dad has motor neurone disease. He has lived downstairs for several years, with a bed in the living room and a commode in the same place. He has carers 4 times a day. His quality of life is awful. He can't move or speak but is exactly the same guy mentally as he always was. He is hoisted out of bed and seen to by the carers. He goes to the loo in the living room and hasn't had a bath or shower in all these years. My mum is there too. She is very frail, blind and has terminal cancer. I moved in a while back so I could help in whatever way I could - shopping, cleaning, hospital appointments etc. We applied for a grant to convert the garage into a bedroom and wet room. It took 18 months but we finally got there. Mum and dads contribution was assessed as £700. Finance officer came out today to carry out a final review of everything before the work started (builders chosen, designs already drawn etc). During this review, it came up that I lived there. She said this changed everything and that we would now have to pay £6000 rather than £700. We are devastated. We don't have that kind of money. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. I said if it came to it, I'd move out. She said they'd now look on that as fraudulently trying to claim the grant. AIBU in feeling that there is no justice and my dad deserves this grant and that the council policy is a bag of steaming horse shit?

OP posts:
Missunreasonable · 05/09/2014 18:47

That is awful. I don't have any advice but I think the council gave been really shitty Sad

SuperScrimper · 05/09/2014 18:47

I don't understand how you living there hadn't come up before hand?

kinkyfuckery · 05/09/2014 18:50

Oh that is so awful. I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this Sad

Is there an appeal process you are up to? Is there a charity that you can turn to for advice/funding?

ashtrayheart · 05/09/2014 19:00

Is it because it's based on household income?

ashtrayheart · 05/09/2014 19:02

They might be able to do it and put a charge on the property as a secured loan.

ilovechristmas1 · 05/09/2014 19:07

really feel for all of you in this situation

i would be tempted to either say you had moved out or actually move out till the grant is sorted

it must be very stressful for you all,seems very unfair as im sure the room is well over needed

MiscellaneousAssortment · 05/09/2014 19:10

Get specialist legal advice... The whole things stinks and you may be able to challenge their decision making process.

Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 19:10

Not based on household income no. They would do no financial assessment on me. It wouldn't matter if I was unemployed or earning £100k a year - it's just the very fact that I'm living here.

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Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 19:12

She was lovely and apologetic but said there was no point in writing to anyone or appealing because it was a simple calculation, not open to any interpretation.

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tarkawithaparka · 05/09/2014 19:12

Awful Sad Thanks

Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 19:14

The MND society have already been good to us and have supplied a riser chair, which helps with hoisting him up.

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AwkwardSquad · 05/09/2014 19:15

That sounds odd. Have you had a carer assessment? Might help.

ilovechristmas1 · 05/09/2014 19:16

i dont understand how they access you but i dosent matter if you earn £1 or £20000

it dosent make sense to me

sorry if im being thick

ilovechristmas1 · 05/09/2014 19:17

and if your living there would you not be overcrowded without converting the garage in the LA eyes

proudmum74 · 05/09/2014 19:23

Speak to your MP. Mine has been really helpful in the past when I needed their help with my disabled daughter.

Floralnomad · 05/09/2014 19:24

She is talking rubbish ,on the Gov.uk website it says you can get up to £30000 and it is dependent on household income and household savings over £6000 . So without assessing your income and knowing the financial position she can't say what you will get.

Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 19:33

It's a 3 bed house and privately owned (mortgage still) so I doubt overcrowding would apply. I don't understand either how it's worked financially. It's my parents house, nothing to do with me, so not sure why my income would or should come into it. I'm seriously considering moving out.

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Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 19:34

Awkward, do you mean a Carer assessment for me? If so, no I haven't.

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MrsWinnibago · 05/09/2014 19:37

WHAT!?? Have you contacted Citizens Advice?

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 05/09/2014 19:38

That stinks, and I would see if you can get an appt at a CAB to see if this could be wrong/challenged.

Get back in touch with the MNDA though, they are very good at offering financial assistance as well as the chair.

NapoleonsNose · 05/09/2014 19:48

That is fucking outrageous OP. Definitely see if you can get some independent advice from the CAB or a disability advice service. I know what a horrible disease MND is too as my own DF died from it. Hope you are able to get the council to see sense.

AwkwardSquad · 05/09/2014 19:54

I really don't know enough about this. But I think what can happen is that the DLF grant is separate from care assessments. I'm just wondering if it would help if it is clear that you are providing regular and substantial care, not just living there. You need proper advice - I would try Age UK.

Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 20:02

It all happened today, so not had chance to speak to anyone yet about it. We just feel pretty low and upset right now but need to re-group and consider our next steps.

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Ididntseeitsoitdidnthappen · 05/09/2014 20:16

That doesn't sound right.

Is it a disabled facilities grant you've gone for? That's a means tested grant and you can only apply once every 5 years

Truckingalong · 05/09/2014 20:35

Yes, it's a disabled facilities grant. It's also been assessed as a Category One, as in the highest priority of need.

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