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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hate myself for being so envious. A bit trivial.

43 replies

ithoughtofitfirst · 04/09/2014 21:21

Ok really trivial.

Had a bit of a row with dh last week and decided to go to my friend's house at a moments notice to get some space (and some sense talked into me).

Her house was like a showhome... it normally is but i always assumed she just made a massive effort for guests. There was nothing out of place, they'd just had therir dinner and there was nothing on the kitchen sides, no toys all over the living room floor, toddler tucked up in bed dead on 7... she didn't even know i was coming until 5 (if that) minutes before i arrived.

How does she do it?! Tidy women.. am i being unreasonable to be super jealous of you?!

She works full time and i'm a sahm so i can't even blame it on that !!!

OP posts:

Shockers · 04/09/2014 21:29

There's nobody there during the day to make a mess....?

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 04/09/2014 21:30

My house usually looks tidy. It's because I like to shove the mess where I can't see it. Open her cupboards.

kslatts · 04/09/2014 21:31

Maybe she has a cleaner

seasavage · 04/09/2014 21:31

Does she have a spare room to chuck it all in?

IMurderedStampyLongnose · 04/09/2014 21:33

YAB(a bit)U.I think sometimes it is easier to be tidy and clean when you are out of the house all day.Presumably her dc is at some kind of care outside of the house during the day?I work about 30 hours a week and have 2 dc,and normally 2 more here in the afternoon.My house isn't show standard but the kitchen and living room are always spotless,cause I run round like a maniac for about half an hour after dinner doing absolutely everything,everything is put away,floor brushed/hoovered and sides cleaned wtc.Just a little every day keeps it at bay I think.

BrianButterfield · 04/09/2014 21:33

It's silly to be envious. Clearly she values having a tidy house and so she keeps it tidy. If you want a tidy house you have to make an effort to keep it tidy - if it's not that important to you you can do something else instead! But being envious doesn't really help - she doesn't have a tidying fairy or anything.

hmc · 04/09/2014 21:36

My house was immaculate when the dc were small, in day nursery all day and I was at work....

MammaTJ · 04/09/2014 21:38

Come round mine, that will make you feel better!

Curiouslygrumpycola · 04/09/2014 21:39

My friends house is like this and it is because she works full time. Her dc have their meals provided by nursery and neither her or her husband tend to throw their spag Bol around at dinner All she needs to do is throw a few toys in the toy box at bedtime.

CromerSutra · 04/09/2014 21:40

My brother and Sil are like this. Their house is absolutely spotless and even the kids bedrooms look like they are out of an interior design magazine. It must be SIL because my brother was THE most untidy, disorganised person ever before she came along. I do envy them but otoh I just know I couldn't keep that up. It is just not me.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/09/2014 21:43

if she gets home late they could just do bath and bed with toddler, so no time for toys. she could also only allow one toy at a time, which is not good practice in the early years. (as my living room testifies) they could have had a simple meal and chucked the packets in the bin or the plates in the dishwasher.

I find if you have less stuff it is easier to keep tidy.

Original poster

ithoughtofitfirst · 04/09/2014 21:44

brianbutterfield so true i've been telling myself that over and over again. That's how she likes having her home to look so she puts in a lot of effort to achieve it... but i'm still jealous

OP posts:

Peppa87 · 04/09/2014 21:46

Its not hard to have a tidy and calm home if you want one.

I let my daughter have her toys out whenever she wants but they are stored in a cupboard when not being used. I do bits of cleaning throughout the week, keep ontop of dirty dishes and laundry during the day, and have a good bath-bottle-bedtime routine for DD so she is out like a light at 7:30.

At bedtime all baby things are tidied away and quick hoover every other night or as and when needed!

Original poster

ithoughtofitfirst · 04/09/2014 21:52

The toys thing is the worst. They're just fucking everywhere, even the washing machine.

I love how i'm sitting here eating a packet of oreos MNing and doing nothing around the house

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 04/09/2014 22:58

Its not hard to have a tidy and calm home if you want one

Ha ha ha! Come back in a few years when she is no longer a baby and changing outfits for the fun of it and spreading everything through the house! Maybe she will be like my DD who had ADHD and on one of the rare occasions it was tidy, got a toilet roll and ripped it up and spread it over the floor as she didn't like it!

MammaTJ · 04/09/2014 22:58

Has ADHD, not had. I haven't found a miracle cure!

Pipbin · 04/09/2014 23:14

If you had turned up on my door step at a moments notice today you would have found my house spotless. That is because the cleaner was here for 3.5 hours today!

Morloth · 04/09/2014 23:18

You do things straightaway.

I used to live in mess and then I realised just how much it got me down.

So straightaway, this morning on my way out to work I put the dishwasher on and threw a load of washing on.

When DH gets up with the kids, they will unload and put away dishes, move load from machine to dryer (or hang out if it is nice), chuck another load on. When I get in with the kids tonight, bags/equipment have designated places etc.

Do everything straightaway and it never builds up so never becomes a 'big' job.

My kids like their stuff tidy because it means they can find whatever they need when they need it, so everyday before bed we tidy up.

eveylikesv · 04/09/2014 23:26

She can borrow my ds for an evening, see if her house is still clean then . My house looks as if tornado came through it and l have been at work whole day, every day this week. In a short time from coming home 6.30ish to falling asleep 9ish ds is capable of turning every room upside dow. Tonight he brought every single shoe from hall to the living room and then all towels and blankets he managed to pull from the wardrobe in the bedroom. His cars are everywhere, he sleeps with them, eats with them, baths with them. Yesterday I hanged washing on a little dryer, came back 5 min later, ds helpfully pulled it all down and scattered all over the floor. The list is endless...l leave for work at 7am, back 6.30 pm, by the time ds is sleeping all l can do is collapse and hope a fairy will come to tidy up.

Woozlebear · 04/09/2014 23:29

As far as I am aware there is only one way to achieve permanent tidiness without having staff . Have very few things. It then is remarkably easy. But by very few things I mean you start of averagely cluttered, then halve it and then halve it again. At least. It takes a long time to make a noticeable difference. I did this over 2-3 years.

People always said my last house was like a show home for the same reason. This was the only reason I managed it. Current house is chaotic building site. Grrrrr.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 04/09/2014 23:40

My dsis and BIL are like this, it helps that they are both equally neat freaks, have a cleaner and are militant about not having clutter. They don't keep things 'just in case' or have multiples of stuff.

I'm in the process of a ruthless de clutter and it is already starting to feel easier to keep the house tidier.

OscarWinningActress · 04/09/2014 23:42

She probably had a mad tidy in the two hours before you dropped by. Be flattered!

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 04/09/2014 23:45

We live in a flat and our Master Bedroom is what I refer to as The Staging Area. I need five minutes warning and the flat is visitor ready, as long as said visitor doesnt need to be in our bedroom and why would they

Maybe they have a similar set up?

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 04/09/2014 23:46

I agree woozlebear, I've been slowly decluttering since the beginning of the year and I can still see there is a long way to go (we don't live like hoarders by the way!).

I love my lounge, other than furniture, lamps, picture or two on the wall and TV there is nothing in there to 'tidy' just plump cushions and fold the throw over the sofa.

Boysclothes · 04/09/2014 23:47

My house is OK but I have a friend who's house is just spotless. Even the garden, the driveway, everything is beautiful. Nothing escapes her. No hotspots.

Anyway, over the years when we're over there I notice that's she's sort of constantly doing something in some zen like way. We had dinner there last week and afterwards the kids went off to play and she pulled out their little table, wiped it down legs and all, moved into the kitchen and did all the surfaces, cream cleaned the sink, did the fridge etc whilst me and her chatted. It was all calm and unhurried and nothing was left undone. It was meditative almost.

When I clean I feel bored quickly and start cutting corners and shoving stuff in top of the fridge or in a crevice in the hallway, toys get chucked back in basket without being out back together etc. I just think she enjoys the whole process and finds it very calming. I've been trying to channel that this week and stop thinking about when I've finished the housework and just try and be a bit more contemplative whilst doing it.

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