Hate myself for being so envious. A bit trivial.

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Ok really trivial.

Had a bit of a row with dh last week and decided to go to my friend's house at a moments notice to get some space (and some sense talked into me).

Her house was like a showhome... it normally is but i always assumed she just made a massive effort for guests. There was nothing out of place, they'd just had therir dinner and there was nothing on the kitchen sides, no toys all over the living room floor, toddler tucked up in bed dead on 7... she didn't even know i was coming until 5 (if that) minutes before i arrived.

How does she do it?! Tidy women.. am i being unreasonable to be super jealous of you?!

She works full time and i'm a sahm so i can't even blame it on that !!!

Yeah, we don't have much 'stuff' I hate 'stuff'.

The kids have toys, but everything has a place.

But no 'stuff'.

Our place is tidy in the evenings. Everything gets tidied away at the end of the day. We don't store any toys in the living room at all, which helps (the kids room is across the hallway; we live in a bungalow).

Dishes and kitchen is tidied up immediately ater dinner, before the kids go to bed.

The place is always guest ready at 7pm, and I've never really thought about it before. Certainly no mad effort would be needed, if we had someone unexpectedly pop round.

It's really not that much of an effort (which, I suspect, is what puts some people off doing it) - no need to be envious, you can live like that, too!

I have to say, keeping the living room entirely* toy-free (in the evenings, obviously, not during the day) always makes a house look and feel calm and tidy.

As in, literally, entirely* toy-free - so not even nice, neat boxes closed with toys in them.

DC are 5 and 4.

given that the children's room does not fit two single beds in it (they are in smaller beds) there is not much chance of keeping toys in their room.

we also have far too much stuff though I am cutting back.

If you came over to mine at half seven you would find dinner cooking and baby sleeping with a clean and tidy living room.

If you came over at half six you would see a half prepared dinner, a living room with toys all over it, and hear a baby screaming while getting his teeth brushed.

It's all about the timing

Oh yes, he is only 17 months. I'm sure when he is a bit more independent the house will show it!

We have shitloads of toys out, but the best thing I bought was a huge storage ottoman for the living room that they all get haphazardly chucked into neatly tidied away in before bed, which makes all the difference.

My parents house was like that. Not the most relaxing environment to live in as a kid. My house is fairly tidy but I prefer lived in over show home any day.

The cleaning alway loomed over whatever else was going on.

If she works full-time, she most likely has a cleaner (I have one I don't even WOH right now for god's sake!). Also the whole family will be out of the house all day and the toddler at daycare / with child minder so of course her house at 7pm will be looking a lot better than a house with a SAHM in it and DC messing the whole place up.

Or maybe she just spends her entire time tidying the house when she gets home from work while her DH puts the toddler to bed and cooks dinner?

I reads something the other day about thinking tidying like a treat not a chore, in the same way as you would think of a bath or a bar of chocolate or a massage as a treat.

The end result is the same as having tidy surroundings leads to calm and peace and feeling nice.

It's sounds a bit wanky but I I have been using it and it mostly works.

Mangled that first sentence. Thinking of tidying as a treat is what I meant.

You see a house and family like that wouldn't make me envious. I have next door neighbours like that and their two ( lovely) daughters were constantly in our house)

I love seeing family homes with kids messy oictures everywhere, half finished construction projects taking up the kitchen table, funny bits of string tied with foild as decorations, paper mache things tied up to dry seeds germinating on the kitchen windowsill in yogurt pots.

To me these type of homes are much worthier of admiration/jealousy ( although I rarely feel jealous)

Our house is like this
Every once in a blue moon
I bet they were thanking their lucky stars you chose that night to come round rather than the "there are bits of boiled egg up the walls but I'm too tired to care" night

My house has been chaos forever (work long hours). However, since starting back after summer I've decided that I don't sit down to do more work as soon as I get in, that I do some chores like put on a wash, hoover/dust a room, swish and swipe bathroom (proper 'cleans' to be done Friday evening and Saturday morning). My job takes over everything and I have decided to force myself to take the time for the home each day.

I will not lie - this is just about killing me, but I'm at the end of week one and the house does not look like a total dump so I feel I have had some success.

Let's see if this is still the case at week 8...

Our home was immaculate when dh and I worked full time, right up until dts (dc3&4) arrived. I swear it was easier to keep things that way when we weren't in all day to untidy it. Now, well the midget hurricanes follow me around untidying everything as soon as I tidy it. So...

They're at preschool now term is back. So fingers crossed.

For a different perspective:

I am very neat, the house is very neat and tidy, the kids stuff is well contained and I spend a good few hours on housework daily. I wouldn't say it's showhome-worthy, but it's certainly minimalist and organised.

The reason I do this is because I associate mess with depression. For years and years I thought I was a naturally messy, slovenly person who just didn't care about the state of the house. Turns out all of that, all of it, was untreated bipolar depression. Now that I'm getting proper treatment, unreasonable levels of mess make me feel really terrible; sad, ashamed, guilty, sick to my stomach. Keeping things orderly is a HUGE part of keeping my mood and wellbeing stable.

So, maybe your friend isn't like me, but her tidiness might be a bit more complicated than just being "naturally" neat.

I'm awfully messy but you wouldn't necessarily know that if you came to my house. Just don't open / move anything. And do not go in the playroom.