Angry at DM

[Orangeisthenewblack1]

My dm has been in a relationship with a man for over 10 years, he's from overseas and has spent majority if their relationship going to and fro. Dm said earlier in the year she wanted to go back with him and spend a few months there. I also have 2 dsis (17&19) who live at home so they would be home alone and left in charge.
The mortgage is paid on the house and dm has savings for dsis to pay for other bills (food, gas, lekkie).

I told her I didn't agree because it was a long period of time and it would ultimately be left to me to be on hand if there are any probs etc. I live about 15 miles away with DS and Dp.

She booked her tickets anyway for 2.5 months and we reluctantly we waved her off.

After about 2 months she announced she was extending her ticket and staying for another 4 months, missing an important family event too. Dsis and I were not happy and told her so, but dm talked about never having a holiday since she has has kids and how much she needed the break, continued to book her ticket.

Dsis (19) goes off to university in shortly (when dm was due back) so I stressed how import it was for her to come home so dsis (17) isn't home alone. Dm has ignored this and has now announced she is extended her ticket a further 3 months.

I am absolutely livid and think she's being so selfish. She's basically having an extremely long holiday and leaving the house and dsis to be sorted by me.

I can't even speak to her at the moment. AIBU to be so mad at her or do I just shut up and agree she 'really needs a holiday'?

personally i could have been left home alone at 17 but my dd? no chance it depends on the child in question not everyone elses experience if she doesn't want to be alone her bloody mother should be there or make sure someone is there for her not sod off because she feels like it

I could have been left at home at 17 too. And been fine.

No way in hell would my mother have done it, though. No way I'd do it. It all sounds very odd.

I agree there is a massive difference between choosing to leave home/ live by yourself at that age, and suddenly being abandoned with no preparation or say in the matter.

There's no reason why she shouldn't technically be able to cope - but she wasn't looking to have to cope and she has been left in the lurch rather with her older sister moving out to college, hasn't she!

No, you shouldn't have to step in in loco parentis and I hope you don't need to too often, but your little sister is more than likely going to find it quite the burden to now be in charge of her mother's house and bills, even if your mother has left her the money.

Your mother does seem to have decided that she's "done" being mum and is over it and now it's her time - it's just a shame she's done it this year instead of in a couple of years' time, when both younger DDs would be at university.

YANBU to be angry. I would be too.

She is being incredibly selfish and unfair on 17 year old. People cope if they have to or want to move out but this is entirely needless.
Doubly unfair if sis leaving home next year anyway.