To think this misses the point about costs of childcare?

[adsy]

"Critics have complained that homes where one parent stays at home to look after children will not benefit."

This is in response to the new scheme where parents will get 20% of childcare costs paid for by the government.
I'm a CM and all for subsidies of any sort to help out parents, but other than the odd day when you might need to go for an interview etc. I can't see why a stay at home parent needs to get childcare subsidies or am I missing a major point here?!

And I didn't mean I want people to agree with me necessarily - just that we need to respect each others' choices, but accept that some people really don't have a choice (and all agree that all parents should be able to access something from a family pot, be it help with child care, or staying at home or whatever). Utopian maybe.

Still not a Con-dem fan though -hopefully not too long now!

A quick one whilst DD talks to herself a bit and Location Location Location is about to start so need to get her off. . If Scotland vote to leave we may see a Con government for a very long time!

Have been following this thread....the sentence which stood out for me (can't remember who posted it), was 'I want my children to know that life = work' or something to that effect.

Really? I want my children to know that life = being happy/fulfilled, first and foremost. 'Work' may be the means to it; either by doing a job/vocation you love that is fulfilling, or by doing something/being in a partnership that pays enough to fund the things that make you happy/fulfilled.

Wanting my children to know that life = work, just sounds a bit depressing.

That is all, as you were.

Crikey handcream that's a bit of a 'point out the obvious' post.

Yet people still choose to disadvantage themselves for a few years and risk their own security (including, would you believe, some men) despite your six points. Why do you think that is?

Really? I want my children to know that life = being happy/fulfilled, first and foremost.

Oh yes halla! Me too.

I am so pleased that attempts to quantify and measure such intangibles are being made. It seems some small glimmer of hope in the push to see us all purely as economic units.

I'd better go and to something economically productive I suppose

There are certainly people on this thread that think its very unfair that working parents are getting help with childcare. They claim to not want the 'money' but clearly they are very miffed.

When you are spending household money that you havent personally earned surely that doesnt count. You are spending someone else's, whether that be benefit money, your partners money or maintenance money. But you havent earned it personally have you? Or am I missing something here...

I dont think anyone has said that non taxpayers shouldnt be able to access the services they need Curly
I for one believe the opposite-thats what a Big Society ( blech) means to me .Not cutting jobs and forcing people to work for free- DC
Supporting the disabled, ill,vulnerable, improving MH services -we need taxpayers and a different bloody government to enable this to happen.

1)you can be independent being a sahp,plenty are.It is mostly temporary and many plan for it

2)many families with a sahp work as a team and rely on each other.Many of the wp in the partnership wouldn't survive without the other. Many sahp will be prefectly capable of getting work after and most do.a Teamwork is good for kids to experience.

3)most sahp aren't tied to the home.Even when I had 3 under 18 months there was no ball on chain.Many of us do masses out of the home and lead varied active lives.

4)bigger houses and private schools,pmsl at that.Most will never,ever in a million years be able to afford private schools and one of the reasons I put off going back in the higher primary years.The vast maj of 2x wp will have a life nothing like the political elite or those on higher salaries.They just don't compare and a good reason to consider other ideas rather than blindly shovelling families down the 2x wp route.The hours I have put into my dc's education will enable them to give many privately educated kids a run for their money.Oh and many don't need big houses,gadgets and expensive lifestyles to be happy.

5)perhaps the stressed of 2x wp causes couples to break up more.I know if I had an equal job to dp it would be more likely.I'm sure most sahp have decent brains and can run a decent risk assessment.

6)cosseting is down to the individual.Some of the most cosseted kids I know have 2x wp. Having a sahp and freedom from wrap around means you can play outdoors more with less direction.My dc go to the parks,shops and friend's houses alone.They can cross roads,cycled the local roads,use money in shops and take risks daily as they are free from childcare or direction.My dc experience more out of life because they spend less time in their school building and we embrace new experiences.They are tough hardy kids who cope well with what life throws at them.

7. sahp have plenty of roles to undertake.I do more as a sahp than when I was a wp as there is more free time.

8)can we compile an equally scathing list towards wp extolling the virtues of having a sahp?Nah thought not.

Ilove - I know, I know... the thread just feels as though there are people being particularly up themselves about who is and who isn't entitled to what.

Oh and Hand I personally have earned the money.I paid for the Masters that provides it and some of the savings we use.I also contribute towards it coming in as we are a team where one needs the other to do the best for our children.

We have joint accounts and a joint mortgage.Everything is joint and we work as a team.

A lot of food for thought on this thread.
DH and I shared care of our DC but it has occurred to me that at times our family set up would have been decribed as less than the "ideal" expected by many posters.
I worked night shifts and DH often weekends -often only one parent around.
We treasured the time we had together and were and still are very happy.( 30 yrs together ,25 married)
Our childrens happiness was the priority ,as it is for most parents ,and that kept me going on those looong nights.
So why was it ok for us and not others ?
Do you know I think its because we went into it eyes wide open,and chose to do it.
We were in control.

I dont understand how SAHP work as a team but WOHP dont ??
Surely all successful couples / parents work as a team and I include parents who are separated but work as a team to ensure their DC happiness.

(soap I find any attempt by that man to steer the work choices of average families to be meddling, it is the pretence at being ordinary -whoever lampooned the sweaters had it spot on- whilst perched atop inherited millions. I shouldn't talk about him. He rubs me up the wrong way entirely)

We work as a team. I work and therefore he does what I tell him.

Who said they don't? I was referring to families with sahp as that was the group being denigrated and pointing out it's teamwork not reliance.

Ah ok -no need for the humpy face seagulls i misunderstood what you meant.

I also dont think writing out long list of benefits to either SAH/WOH based on individuals experiences ie my DC get x inferring that the others dont get it is helpful.
Its that "stop pointing your avocado thing "[ grin]

[Grin] @ Curly

What happened to my ??

It was me with the dontscarethehorsesjumper

It was me with the dontscarethehorsesjumper

I though it might have been.

Like Blair and his mug.

Please dont talk about Cherie like that ! [Grin]

Right off for a run!

I wondered how long it would be before someone piped up with the moan that some WOHP get free childcare from relatives.
Look, you can't base legislation on the fact that some families will choose to give of their own time, freely.
Some people get gifted house deposits from their parents. Some people get a car bought for them. You can either complain that it's 'unfair' or accept that families are entitled to give things, whether time or money, to eachother.

And I speak as someone who paid all our childcare (no subsidies back then!) and has also never been given money for a house deposit.

Handcream

Your list upthread is no different to mine as a sahm, none of your points are solely applicable to wohp.
I also know lots of wohps who hover constantly when they are with their child, to make up for times when they aren't.

I spent the time i was at home with my DC partially at my DP home -on the beach most days or at home,visiting frinds,drinking coffee,playing with my DC,at various groups. avoiding housework
It was bliss -I really dont think I should have been paid to do it!

This is the exact reason there is a problem that people believe that this is always the case! Yes, perfect with DC1 and mostly DC2. However I am now on DC3 with 2 older ones at school so it's not quite such bliss all the time. No lie ins after repeatedly broken nights as got to get up and get 2 children to school with everything they need including packed lunches as well as supervising the already stressful breakfast and getting ready routine. Then got to get all the jobs done (shopping, washing, cooking) - with DC3 in tow, as well as the obvious playing, seeing friends, beach etc. At 2.30pm I am starting the whole school routine so need to whip up DC3 from a calm quiet nap, pick up the older 2 DC and manage all of their extra-curricular activities, playdates, homework, bad moods and emotional needs from anything that may have happened at school. Not quite such bliss with a 14mo under foot screeching, emptying cupboards, etc. Yes sure, I made my choices, but to say that as a SAHP I am hoping for CC for a break or asking to be paid for having fun with my DC - definitely not. Actually just some essential time managing the needs of my older DC, who I choose to look after rather than going out to work and outsourcing it all (which if I chose to do so I would be far better off financially anyway without the added unnecessary benefit of subsidised childcare) - not that I mind WOHP getting the benefit as well as SAHP as that will soon be me again hopefully anyway but I don't see why the benefit wouldn't be universal or have a threshold based on total household income!

This is all very odd.

A tax break is proposed to help working parents with child care. Yet some of those who don't need childcare, don't want to use childcare and actually think childcare is A Bad Thing are asking for the tax break?

Or they're saying that because they can't have the tax break, no one should, especially not those who need and use childcare?

Talk about childish and selfish.

The government offers all kinds of tax breaks and benefits and services that I will never ever use. Should I demand reimbursement?