to ask if teenagers are a lot more expensive than children?

[burgatroyd]

Yesterday I asked advice on how to stop my rather irrational broody feelings. Money is a large factor for me not considering a third as I hear teenagers are a LOT more expensive than young children. So though I could possibly afford more kids now would worry I'd find it tough when they are older.

Those with teenagers or older kids, do you find it a lot more expensive?

MrsPnut

Some people buy their dc practical items for birthday because it is the only way they can afford to buy them.
Yes, if you can afford to buy them whenever they want them, but some parents teach the value of money in this way.
My dd will be getting musical accessories for xmas because we spend a fortune on lessons, travel and subs. We can't afford the special case she needs for her instrument, it will be a present.

Ragwort are you serious? Your mind boggles at make up and hair straighteners? That's odd. My dd is 20 and has had straighteners since she was 14. She doesn't like thenGHD ones as they kept breaking so she has a cheap pair which are great.

Morethan

What is right for one family isn't necessarily right for another, I can only speak about my family. It isn't the right way or the only way.

morethan how does it show them the value of money?

DS has just bought himself a new winter overcoat, John Lewis, well cut and a heavy wool mix. £14.99 from a local charity shop.
So there are some ways around the expenses.

The teenage years weren't more expensive for me,

I have two DDs, now aged 23 and 21, and I have been a single parent for the past 12 years, for most of that time I have been on disability benefits, there just wasn't the money for anything that wasn't essential. Luckily, my girls have never been demanding, and never asked for a thing, they didn't have laptops or hair straighteners, and have never been into computer games, so no XBoxes, or anything like that.

I did buy DD1 a cheap mobile when she was 12, but that was out of necessity, as my XH would not allow the girls to even say goodnight to me when they were away at his on visits (he lives over 300 miles away)

I'm still on disability benefits, but am trying a part time job for the first time in many years, and both DDs now have good jobs, so things are better financially for us now, but we're not well off by any means.

Growing up, the girls were not allowed to just help themselves to food, as once something was gone, there wasn't the money to replace it for another week or so, so things had to last, they never went without essentials, but there was many a time I went without eating, to make sure there was enough.

I never understand this argument. While they are 0-5 they cost a fortune as someone either has to give up an income or pay someone else to look after them full-time (or a mix of both).

Despite spending more cash on teenagers (a LOT more!) you can go out to work and pay for it!!!

I have 16 and 18 year olds. They get an allowance of about £60 a month to cover clothes and entertainment and both have very small part time jobs.

Yes they eat more and adult clothes are more expensive than children's but they almost never ask for anything. They are a bit about friends who are handed every new gadget on the market.

I don't understand this demand for labels or expensive gadgets? Mine get decent gifts (eg phone or laptop) at Christmas and birthday but I don't recall buying anything much in between. In fact I often struggle to find something to treat them with for a birthday.

I have paid for driving lessons because we live in the sticks and the freedom has transformed DS1's life. He doesn't have a car but is allowed to borrow mine.

I don't think I have ever said no to anything they have asked for they just don't ask. Perhaps those who demand the latest iPhone have parents who have them? I don't know.

My eldest will be 13 in a few months, she has been a teenager since 9 she costs a bloody fortune, high school bus pass, school dinners, clothes that get abandoned very quickly, shoes, trips to cinema, outing with pals, school uniform, school trips, toiletries, eats same as adult. I know give mine a monthly allowance which she has to make last for some of these things.

Good point mutley

I have to say I'm a bit at some of the posts.
Christmas present that can't be practical? What on earth do you get? If it's going to be relegated to the cupboard after a week, I'm struggling to see the point. One of my dcs got a new tennis racquet plus bag for a birthday as he loves tennis. DH got some walking shoes for his b'day. And I got some bed linen. All very happy by these 'practical' stuff that we would never have bought otherwise. (Ie we could all have done wo them therefore they are not essentials iyswim)
If you said yes to one child for take on music you can't say no to all the others? Again why? They aren't supposed to do all the same thing. I actually encourage my dcs to do different things. But they know they can do x number of activities and have to chose.
What I do agree is the cost of trips when they are in secondary and the uniforms and the food.

secret I don't think anyone has mentioned their teen demanding anything, have they?

What most of us are talking about are things we want our DC to have.

For parents who don't want their DC to have these things or can't provide them, then fair enough.

I found my DC expensive as babies and toddlers, mainly because I went a bit mad on baby equipment, their nurseries and clothes. Then they were not as expensive as children, then more expensive as young teens. We spent a lot on days out and eating out became more expensive when they started having adult meals. Now my youngest 2 DC are 14 and 16 and things have got slightly cheaper as they have started hanging out with their friends and doing things like playing football all afternoon and I just give them a couple of pound for a drink. Things like laptops, nice phones we give as Christmas or birthday presents.

I'm laughing at some of the posts on here. I think some of you are going to have a real wake up call when your children become teens!

I chose to fund their university fees and costs which is quite expensive so even once the teens are over plenty of parents have those big costs.

Surely any parent of an under 5 on here either has lost one whole salary she had before she had children if she now stays at home - say £25k a year over a good many years and probably lost chances of promotion to double that, for life and lost may be £100k worth of pension entitlements she might have built up over 40 years had she worked rather than been home or part time Or else she is paying £10k a year per child full time childcare with her husband. Surely either of those option are much much more than a few pairs of trainers for a teenager?

So the only people who find teenagers more expensive than babies are women who expected always to live on benefits or who would expect to be at home whilst their husband supported them even if they had never had a child which I expect is very few.

I found my daughters more expensive then sons as teenagers as they had a horse each so that was probably £12k a year in total for stabling plus the £20k a year school efes etc etc. This just shows how relative it all is. I have been able (because I never gave up work) to give each daughter £40k towards their first flats too and I funded one through law school too which with university and the flat means in her case is probably about £150k since she left school oh plus an additional loan towards her flat deposit but she's paying that back so I don't quite found it. Mind you there is little I would rather spend my money on that the children's education, much nicer investment in learning than in say my hair or buying a boat or whatever. My teenage sons don't have a horse so they are a lot cheaper indeed - just a few takeaways, school clubs, £30k a year school fees and some clothes.

MrsPnut

Apologies, I read your post in the wrong way.
totally agree we all do it differently.

Word

It taught mine the value of money in terms of you can't always get what you need let alone what you want and sometimes if something is important to you and funds are tight having it as a present is the only way.

We have the same with a case for an instrument for dd, it has to be a special type due to a technical issue, it is only made by one manufacturer and is expensive. It has to be part of xmas present as I can't afford it before xmas with everything else to buy.

But when I found out I was pg when DC 3 my reasoning for continuing with the pg was that I would rather sit in an old peoples home chatting about my three DC and and grandchildren I might have, than what nice dresses and cars I owned

what an excellent line. brilliant.

I wouldn't like to receive practical items for my birthday or christmas so why would I make my kids have them?

True but I think every child only knows what they know of their family, so whatever you do /can afford will be, what they know.

if we struggle to fund dc life style when they are older, they will know that and we will struggle.

does no one any harm!

LOL @greengrow's post

Mutley 77 - You have it exactly right. I think people are overlooking that in this thread. A full time nursery place is about £1000 so that is a good rule of thumb as to much kids per month in child care whether you pay the nursery to do it or reduce you working hours so you can do it yourself. That buys an awful lot of gadgets, clubs and adult size clothes...

Mutley, I somehow assumed the OP had primary school-age littl'uns rather than preschoolers. Teenagers are definitely more expensive than 8 year olds.

I have luckily blanked from my mind the eyewatering expense of nursery and childminders for the under-fives.

Yes but those of us with teenagers just now were having preschoolers over a decade ago when Childcare costs were definitely a lot lower...also my mil had my children one day a week when tiny, my mother one day a week and DH finished at lunchtime every Friday, plus they were spaced out five years apart so one lot of Childcare practically ended as dd2 was born.

I know those are specific to my situation but I don't think I am now spending any less on them than when they were preschoolers.

Gym memberships, martial arts lessons, drama lessons, sailing lessons, archery lessons, bus passes, increased food and clothing costs, etc etc...plus friends birthdays, sleepovers, school residential trips, duke of edinburgh, you name it. And yes I don't HAVE to do it and I appreciate I am fortunate that I can.

But still I maintain it costs more!

I never gave up work. I still found them hideously expensive....

In fact I worked to fund them. And that was just for the normal every day stuff, no school fees or horses for us....

Yes, v expensive if you are counting university fees, accommodation, driving lessons, mobile phones, trips abroad etc etc. And bugger me they eat a lot! And stay up all night with the heating on.

Some teenagers are going to get a massive shock when they hit their twenties and suddenly have to maintain the lifestyle they've become accustomed to out of entry level pay packets.

I say this as someone who is stopping at two because I know they'll get more expensive!