To have thrown the children's tea in the sink?

[Athyrium]

DS2 enters kitchen and asks what's for tea. I answer, to which he says he hates it (He has never had it before.)

DS1 enters kitchen and asks what we're having. When I reply he tells me it's gross (He has never had it before.)

I have a PMT induced moment of RAGE and the throw the lot in the sink on top of the dirty washing up.

Am now skulking upstairs.

I think half of it bounced off the washing up and is now stuck on the wall, which I suppose serves me right...

"can't believe how fussy kids are these days. In my day you just ate the food you were given and it wasn't an issue. "

Rubbish: I can remember at least 3 of my primary school friends being ridiculously fussy. One would only eat rissoles cooked by my mum and her Mum used to pay my mum to cook up big batches. That's all she ate: my mum's rissoles, and sandwiches of Primula cheese on white bread. All the packed lunch kids wee extremely fussy, that's why they had packed lunch. My brother was incredibly fussy.

Not unreasonable, and a very amusing thread. When my 2 are old enough to start being fussy, my dogs will finally seem to serve a purpose bar "franking" our mail.

"You can eat it, or feed it to the dogs, your choice.... "

aaaah! or maybe "If you don't like it, feel free to swap with the dog."

YANBU, the way they spoke to you is quite rude really, that kind of attitude drives me nuts. My DC have pushed me in the past, I really understand how it just hits your buttons when you've been busy cooking good food for them and they couldn't give a shite.

Glad to hear you're now settled with a glass of wine!

YANBU, and I think your solution was hilarious! I was hiding my annoyed face in my wine out for a family meal on Friday when dp's sister wouldn't eat anything on the pub menu (steak, salmon, veg risotto, chicken salad, lamb). I wish her mum had thrown dinner in the sink when she was little (she's 24 btw)!

I've found it helpful to not say exactly what it is when asked. I often will say 'start eating hen tell me what you can taste' it limits the 'but I don't like' responses and limits expectations to be based only on what they can see, whilst also distracting them a bit to see if they can work out what's in it.

Rude responses equals time out for DS2. Politely declining to eat is acceptable, however I offer no alternatives at all.

Awful rudeness about food has resulted in me letting DS1 cook his own tea the next night.

I can understand your frustration OP

But it must have been pretty scary for a 7 and 9yr old to see their Mum do that in a fit of rage.

So they didn't like the thought of chilli and rice. One thought it sounded gross and the other said he didn't like it without having tried it. Ungrateful yes, but still your reaction was way OTT and unlikely to encourage them to try untested foods in the future.

But it must have been pretty scary for a 7 and 9yr old to see their Mum do that in a fit of rage

Really? Or perhaps a lesson in the fact that mum has limits too?

Sometimes utterly losing it to the point of tears makes the point that mum is not a robot, not a food producing machine, but a person with feelings that can be hurt. I am not afraid to cry in front of my children when they have hurt my feelings, its very very rare, but on the odd occasion it has happened they have always thought about what they did and why it hurt me and apologised. I know they have because I usually go into the conservatory to calm down and can hear them in the lounge discussing it!

The analogy a PP posted is a good one. If it isnt ok for you to say "URGH! I dont want to see the picture you did at school, I dont like it!" then why is it ok the other way around? They are 7 and 9, more than old enough to understand that their actions can hurt others.

As for "Mum breaking things"..... my mum had horrendous hormonal issues, only diagnosed after sis and I left home.

So her temper at that time of the month was something to behold, the rest of the time was no picnic but that week was something else.

We lived in a bog standard 60's semi. Lounge with wooden framed plate glass door into kitchen/diner. The glass door was broken three times. Once when she slammed it so hard the glass broke and fell out, once when she threw a pewter tankard at my father (who had the sense to see it coming and duck) and once, the most memorable, just after he replaced the glass from the tankard incident and she broke it deliberately knowing the trouble he went to to mend it. She actually said that she was going to break it because she knew it would piss him off, the putty wasnt even hard. Dsis and I tried to stop her but to no avail. (Stately homes, dont get me started).

But the main thing wasnt the breakages, it was the fact that it left a wooden door frame with a massive gap, so me and my sister and my dad would just step through it. She hated it and insisted that we open the now glassless door, walk through it and close it again afterwards. Everytime we stepped through the gap she was reminded of her pychobitch moments. The last time was the worst, she would get insanely cross if we stepped through because she knew she had done it on purpose.

Thinking about that, binning a dinner is nothing!

But what about YOUR dinner?

Take it or leave it is the only option here.

My kids have seen me lose my temper before. Being human this happens occasionally, they get over it.

Mummy's first coffee of the morning is everyone's Number One Priority in our house for good reason.

I think you are being YABU. I would be furious if my DC threw away and wasted their food- why should you get to do it, even if it is in a moment of rage? Sure, we all have our limits, but we do also have to control ourselves. I expect my DC to be able to, however angry they are, like I'd expect any other (nt, of appropriate age and so on) child to be able to, why is it fine cos you're a mum?

They once had sunday tea for Monday breakfast, then weirdly enough their fussiness had gone
You don't want to do this with a stubborn child. I know somebody (not me) who was served the same meal every day, twice a day, for over a week. More than fifty years on and she hasn't eaten it yet. I think she's still proud of that fact.

You don't want to do this with a stubborn child. I know somebody (not me) who was served the same meal every day, twice a day, for over a week. More than fifty years on and she hasn't eaten it yet.

My parents packed left over dinner as my school lunch, where there were no microwaves so I'd have to eat it cold. I threw it right in the trash and refused to eat it. The teachers thought my parents didn't bring my lunch, and I was afraid to tell them I threw my lunch away so I fibbed. They got a hold of my parents. I got in huge trouble.

But my parents didn't do the "Fine you'll eat it tomorrow then" again. I don't even think it was something I didn't like. I just didn't want to eat it.

This made me laugh op.
About 5 years ago, ds came back from his dad's telling me how nice his special home made lasagne was so I got exact recipe from ex and made it.

Ds sat down to eat it, took one bite then said " this is disgusting and nothing like my dad's one"
Cue me, picked up the remaining lasagne in my only posh casserole dish thingy and threw it at the wall.
To this day I don't know why I did it, it landed on my kitchen tiles, smashed a tile, smashed the dish and lasagne was all down the wall and all over the floor, had to re-paint the kitchen:)

He's now 11 and came back from his dad's a few weeks ago and told me how nice his dad's " special sausage casserole" was.

I've yet to make that one, couldn't cope with more painting!

Worra, are you really suggesting you have never lost it? I gave them a bit of a shock, but Im fairly sure they weren't particularly traumatised, hence the giggling outside my bedroom door when I was sulking! [little buggers emoticon]

Still, you are right, it was a bit OTT! But all is harmony and love here this morning I have apologised and DS2 has promised to eat his chilli today, I might add lots more chilli to it and I am back to my normal totally reasonable non-grudge bearing self!

The thread cheered me up last night when I needed it so thanks for the replies!

YWNBU.

"I don't cook for a fucking hobby"

^ stealing that.

My dsis remembers going to to uncles house-real Victorian dad. She wouldn't eat spinach, got it for breakfast, lunch and tea until she left two days later and nothing else. Then told our dm that she was out if control and needed a good smack. (Da snuck her bread and jam)
Spinach still makes her boak.
Arf at rice down top though.

YANBU, I've never done it, but DD2 has tempted me many many times.

I was a bit unclear. I don't think the OP was unreasonable and I do make sure my DCs have given things a good try before refusing to eat something.

What I am talking about is serving stuff up day after day until they eat it.

I have vivid memories of sitting at the table for what felt like hours in front of cold food that I hated and then knowing it would be back on the table the next day.

I accept that isn't what happened in this instance but was just a bit taken
Aback by the stance that if you don't like what's on offer you go without. I may have a skewed perspective!

That my dear was an awesome tantrum well done you sometimes it's just to much and we snap. I once took a knifeto burst a blow up seat my 2 were fighting over for days not my finest parenting moment

We used to say,"there's bread, there's cheese" if they didn't eat what was offered. I wouldn't re offer the chilli.

I can't stand fussy entitled kids.
If you don't like a food, that's fine.

Ds2 has started to become fussier. Dh and I agreed last night that we are going to take a much tougher line: "that's it, that's all that's on offer. "

I completely sympathise and can see myself doing similar in future when DS2 is big enough to start with that crap (he's not quite 2, so the worst I get at the moment is "YuK!" followed by either extreme head turning or giving it a go)

DS1 has tried it on a few times but as soon as I take the plate away and say "well that's you done, off to bed then" he backtracks. He's nearly 7.

There are things I know he doesn't like though - visible mushrooms and visible onions being 2 of them (slime factor) - so although I still put them in, I make sure they're chopped fine enough that he can't see them. He won't eat sliced cooked mushrooms either, but will eat them raw (not slimy raw).

The only thing YWBU about IMO is to have actually wasted the food - I'm way too stingy to do that! If Ds2 doesn't finish his dinner, I'll keep it until the next day and either eat it myself or try him with it again - almost nothing gets binned in terms of cooked food.

YANBU. I tipped a large trout into my husband's bath water once (we were having a domestic while he was bathing and the trout was cooking).