To find the idea of exercise and fitness so intimidating that I don't even try

[justwondering72]

I've never been sporty or fit. When I was at school, the choice was music lessons or sport, and I opted for music. I never had a 'thing' that was my sport, never did anything other than games at school. My family is not sporty, music and literature and science and exams were always considered more important.

And here I am, age 43, overweight, unfit and unable to keep up with my children when they want to play tag. No sporting hobbies. Envying friends who cycle, ski, do tough mudder etc or even just play tag with their children.

I want to start running this year when my youngest goes to school, I'll have the mornings free and I can commit to it. But I am scared. Scared that it's going to be really hard work, and sweaty, and sore. That I will hate it. And that I will fail. Again. I don't want to be such an unfit blob all the rest of my life, I'm fed up of it. But the alternative seems just as appealing.

Please inspire me! Is it worth it to turn this around? I'm not too late, am I?

Most people need

1. to walk or move regularly
2. to get out of breath and sweaty - do a bit of skipping or star jumps or run upstairs or cycle to work up hills or just do hard domestic work at home, dig the garden
3. to stretch - you can just sit at home and stretch, yoga etc or whatever.

Now none of that has to be a proper exercise programme but you need those elements to be healthy. It just can be 10 minutes a few times a week, nothing more. I find it much better when I move 40 heavy boxes of stuff or heavy gardening or running up stairs doing jobs than in a gym and I prefer to be alone ( so all this class suggestion for me would just be repulsive) and I like to be outside (not inside in gyms).

Everyone is different in what they should do but don't assume it has to be running for you. It might just be doing more harder house and garden work for example or cycling to the station rather than driving.

Also although exercise is good for you losing weight is about 80% in the food, not the exercise and some people who need to lose weight who start exercising then eat bigger meals to compensate. I am not saying don't exercise but don't expect it to be the sure fire way to lose weight.

[Vision of all those rather large people at our gym who exercise not much at all and don't even sweat and then as a reward sit down to massive meals about 3x the calories they just expended]

"Also although exercise is good for you losing weight is about 80% in the food, not the exercise and some people who need to lose weight who start exercising then eat bigger meals to compensate. I am not saying don't exercise but don't expect it to be the sure fire way to lose weight."

I would say it is 50/50, exercise is hugely important not just in terms of burning of calories during the exercise itself but also in how it raises your resting metabolic rate so that you continue burn calories at a higher rate even when you are sitting on the sofa between gym/running sessions. Of course you can lose fat by just concentrating on your diet, but it is a hell of a lot harder if you keep your exercise to a minimum.

I tried the gym and swimming but there was so much faff involved.
I go running now (although I haven't been in about 2 weeks)
I did the couch to 5k using the get running app and I listen to podcasts as I go. I go at 6.30 as there are very few people about to see me.

find something you LIKE.

For me running is hell, torture, hideousness and pain.

Whereas tennis, swimming and walking outdoors are so much fun I don't feel like I am "exercising", I feel I am spending precious time on a lovely activity.

Find what you love, or you won't stick to it.

Try a few things out!

Justwondering if you're in the capital, I'll come running with you on a weekend. I used to be unfit. Now I run a few times a week and I'm just middlingly unfit... A lot of whether running is fun or not, is in the technique and in whether your muscles are strong enough to support your joints - took me years to find out that my knee didn't have to hurt and my feet didn't have to slap the ground. Had I altered my technique a bit earlier i might have got better a lot sooner!

BTW if you'd like to run round your local park, just give it a go. You don't have to become a marathoner. Walking a bit, running a bit, listening to nice music or podcasts, focus on treading lightly (land on your midfoot rather than your heel or toes) and short steps (don't overstride). Stay out for half an hour, go home and have a shower. Whole thing done in an hour.

I've had multiple friends who have taken up running a few years post kids, who've never done sport before. They're all still running and enjoying it - some are now into half marathons etc, others still enjoy the freedom of jogging round the park without a deadline hanging over their head

I'm quite fit and I have never been running (though I can run for the bus without getting out of breath). Instead I do lots of walking, swimming, some weights, pushups and abdominal crunches, and a bit of yoga.

You're not a failure. It will hurt if you're not used to it. Learning to do anything takes practice. Very few people are good at anything the first time they attempt it. My first mile is usually sore as my body gets used to it, then it gets flowing and more pleasurable. Many people who consider themselves to be runners feel the same. The reward and achievement exist because you gave challenged yourself to beyond your comfort zone whether you're just starting or are an olympian. Some days my body's not in the mood and I have to walk or cut the distance. I haven't failed, I'm adapting. I repeated weeks in C25k to give my body chance to catch up with itself if I felt I wasn't ready to progress. That's not failing. Half of the effort of running is mental. It takes patience and perseverence. Many who complete c25k weren't on their first attempt at running.

If you have a smart tv, there are loads of exercise classes on YouTube that you can watch for free in private. There are some good 2 mile walking ones ( they are more fun than walking on the spot). They take about 40mins with stretching.

They are good to start with. My mum is 70 and does them she has lost two stone in three months.
If you start with those then you can build up to running.

Equally, you could play them on a laptop.

The trick to getting fit is to find a form of exercise that you enjoy.

Personally I love running. There is no reason why you can't start running at your age. Go to any race and you'll see men and women in their 70s+ happily doing their thing! Just take it very slow (start with lots of walking, then gradually add v slow running) and get good advice from a running shop about shoes.

But if you don't enjoy it then find something else - ski lessons on a dry slope, cycling, hiking, tennis.

I find exercising to be my antisocial quiet time, but some people love running clubs etc, and they will normally have people of all levels.

I don't understand the argument about exercise being rubbish for losing weight, btw. A) being fit is its own reward and B) if you are trying to cut 500 calories per day from your diet, Imo it would be much easier to run 5 miles than to cut out a whole meal worth of food.

Swim! NO ONE cares what you look like in a cossie and its easy and you dont get out of breath.
I swim all the time and when I started 10 lengths was daunting but I can easily do a hundred now.
I also like going to things like yoga and pilates.
Exercise DOES help me feel better. I struggle with low moods and if I can force myself in to that pool, I absolutely always come out feeling better and with a lot clearer mind.
I also took my bike out for the first time in years the other day, I managed 3 miles straight off :D

I am like you OP - hate pretty much everything. I used to enjoy aerobics classes, I like swimming but most other things I really dislike. I start something new regularly but never ever keep it up. I have just started Zumba which I do find fun and am going to try and do a bit more of that, I have tried running a couple of times but my knees just can't take it, or they can eventually but it takes weeks and weeks of very gentle persuasion to get them to accept it and I don't like the pain during those weeks of waiting. The one thing that I have done consistently for 3 years is walking 3-4 miles everyday, more recently 4-4.5 miles a day. Yes having the dog helped but I actually miss it now if I don't go. When I first started walking 3 miles a day my legs and bum hurt for about 4 weeks and I thought I would never get into it but now I just get on with it and try and incorporate hills and faster walking when I am feeling a bit flabby.

Re exercise vs diet.

Exercise cannot undo all the harm caused by bad diet, neither can good diet undo all the damage done by a sedentary life.
Both are important, they work via different mechanisms and it is not possible to directly quantify and compare them.

I wanted to start exercising more and feeling fitter after years of being ill with misdiagnosed hypothyroidism. Once I did, the difference was amazing. I started c25k, and cycling. I bought a brill bike and now cycle about 40 miles a week.

I still can't run well - but we bought a treadmill as I felt a right tit running outside to be honest. I run for about 30 mins a day, 4 times a week too. I've just started Les Mills Bodybalance too - it's a blend of tai chi, yoga and pilates. I thought it would be a welcome, somewhat stretchy change from cycling and running, and I love it.

You can, and will get hooked, once you make it part of your life. Try out as many things as you can until you click with something - for me it's really my bike.

Les Mills Bodybalance great workout.

I need to catch up with thread again, but I felt v similar after my attempt at couch25k. I got to week 4, felt so proud of myself, happy hormones the lot, then really hurt my ankle. Got scared to put too much weight on an unfit overweight body.... and gave up. For a year.

I really need to Do Something.

I was wondering about swimming. I absolutely loved bodybalance a few years ago when I tried that but that's not at the council pool and I can't afford the private one. There is pilates at the council one though if I joined.

This is what I do to make myself exercise, enjoy it, and actually look forward to it:

Stay at home (nobody can see me)
Put on a favourite film
Put on (different, smaller screen like phone/laptop) a varied and appealing workout, e.g. Cindy Crawford's Next Challenge on youtube.

Once familiar with the workout, turn volume right down and just glance at it when needed, and turn the film up. Works best with an exciting/action type film.

It has to be maximum fun, minimum misery otherwise I wouldn't bother

Also it's free, and I can strip off as I get hotter!

This evening I went to my first session at a beginners running course. It was fantastic - and I say that as someone 4 stone overweight, with fibromyalgia and having not run for about 15 years.

There was easily 40 people in the group, all new to running, many overweight and all of us with tremendous anxiety about exercising. The group leaders were amazing; so kind and encouraging. It was a very gentle pace and I was shocked at the end when they said we'd run over a mile.

I would very happily recommend this sort of group to anyone struggling to get on board with exercise. I loved it, and I really didn't think I would.

How about the obvious thing the gym?

I detest exercise and have tried everything but I can just about force myself to go to the gym few times with the reward of leaving dh to do bedtimes and having a lovely long shower and smoothing on some body cream in the changing room with no kids yelling at me then into a lovely soft lounging outfit ready to go home and relax.

Also if I can't be arsed I can just have a nice swim.
Added bonus too of being able to take the children swimming free.

My advice to you would be to forget about the running for just now. Begin just going out for walks. Buy a pedometer- each day set yourself a challenge to beat your steps from the day before. Slowly but surely and lasting for longer is far better than hard and fast and giving up after the first experience of getting hot and sweaty. (so i tell my husband anyway!!)

Soverylucky, have you tried any other sports since?

I recommend swimming

I suggest you start with walking.
Download free pedometer on your phone and start recording your steps.
Is self paced, you won't injure yourself and in few months time you will be able to feel much fitter.
Then if you feel like - start running, but fast walk (130-150 steps per min) is equally beneficial, will make you sweat and won't ruin your joints.

At the beginning you won't be able to walk that fast but give it few weeks and you would.

If you can get the recommended 10000 steps a day - the sooner the better, then you can increase that.