To find the idea of exercise and fitness so intimidating that I don't even try

[justwondering72]

I've never been sporty or fit. When I was at school, the choice was music lessons or sport, and I opted for music. I never had a 'thing' that was my sport, never did anything other than games at school. My family is not sporty, music and literature and science and exams were always considered more important.

And here I am, age 43, overweight, unfit and unable to keep up with my children when they want to play tag. No sporting hobbies. Envying friends who cycle, ski, do tough mudder etc or even just play tag with their children.

I want to start running this year when my youngest goes to school, I'll have the mornings free and I can commit to it. But I am scared. Scared that it's going to be really hard work, and sweaty, and sore. That I will hate it. And that I will fail. Again. I don't want to be such an unfit blob all the rest of my life, I'm fed up of it. But the alternative seems just as appealing.

Please inspire me! Is it worth it to turn this around? I'm not too late, am I?

The thing I hate most about exercise is all the fucking encouragement! There's nothing more likely to demotivate me than having my nearest and dearest ask me about it and be all smilingly hopeful for me when I start what is likely to be another short-lived phase.

I am similar to previous posters - slim, never ill, very lazy and properly unfit, cardiovascular-wise. Getting started from that standpoint is really hard because I look as though I could do the exercises at this class or that group and people get concerned/find it funny when I go purple and start crying with rage and frustration (or, as I did at my first ever spinning class, faint off the bicycle and break my nose).

My plan now is secret exercise. I'm trying couch to 5k sneakily and not telling anyone until I've raised my fitness enough to avoid humiliation. The first week seems okay, although the nice lady on the podcast who tells you that you've run a total of 8 minutes makes you want to spit a bit.

It's only half an hour and it doesn't cost anything. So that's good.

Phaedra that is exactly what my Dad said. Unfortunately your body needs proper weight bearing exercise to maintain bone density. Dad is not in his early 70s and barely able to walk while the gym-going friends he rolled his eyes at are still running around on the beach with their grandkids.

There are so many muscles you are simply not engaging through the incidental exercise of your everyday activity.

Totally agree about needing to find the right thing. I'm also very unsporty and there are lots of forms of exercise that I absolutely hate (inc running and the gym)

I had a bit of an epiphany when I realised that I need something to distract me from the fact that I am exercising So running and swimming no good for me but a brisk walk or a cycle with a friend I really enjoy. Zumba is good as it's fun and I have to concentrate quite hard on the steps - and I decided that at 42 I am grown up enough not to care what other people think, so who cares if I get some wrong?

As already mentioned, a good aqua fit class might not be a bad place to start? Or try and incorporate more walking into your day to day activities?

I priced our local council sports facility (all that's available) and worked out that even with concessions, a reduced price but decent quality exercise bike on sale on Amazon was still far better value over a year. It was bought and has now been 'paid for' so I'm ahead.

I do several kilometres every weekday morning and have now for over a year. A bum that was once flabby is now significantly tighter and my thighs are leaner, in better condition and more able to take the strain of everyday movements thus saving my back.

I also have it in front of the telly and watch a movie or two while I'm 'cycling'. That might be frowned upon by some but it's usually my only chance to see certain things and it makes the time and the distance speed by.

If you're strapped for cash, maybe gently enquire of friends whether they might have one languishing in a cellar somewhere that you could borrow for a little? Many people have bought an exercise machine/bike because it seemed like a good idea at the time but end up sticking it somewhere and not using it. If you could find one to borrow, that might give you an idea of whether it suits without the immediate outlay.

The fittest I have been was when I was also the richest I've been. I would try a new activity every 2-3 weeks leaving when I could no longer stand it and trying something else in the hope that I would find something I could bear.

I never did, but I got fit doing the research and the novelty of each new activity just took the edge off the boredom.

I also lived on vodka in those days too though, at least I'd skip dinner and go out socialising, standing for hours in a bar I'd hurried to as didn't want to miss the gossip etc.

Hello op,

I am you! I decided about a month ago I should start becoming fitter. I had been thinking about it for a long time before hand.

I bought the 30 day shred, I bought some trainers and decided it didn't really matter what I did as long as I did something!

I work full time and have 3 kids, have never exercised and got very fed up of looking at my wobbly bits.

I try to do at least a half hour of something every day.

Some days I will shred, some days I will walk briskly for half an hour, some days I will do a session of couch to 5k and on a Friday I Zumba! I will take the opportunity to walk further if it presents itself and sometimes I will swim.

I can usually find half an hour for something, it's a matter of using that half hour wisely.

I started running and my shins hurt a lot so I started walking briskly instead and my shins seem to be better now. Perhaps my overall fitness is improving. I hurt my back shredding so just cut out the jumping things until I could manage them again.

For me it's all about finding your own level and working on from there.

Good luck. Trust me, nobody is thinking anything other than "wow, go for it". Who wouldn't want to see someone trying to improve themselves.

Justwondering, I haven't read the entire thread so I might be repeating something someone's already said, but you might want to consider alternatives to running. It's quite tough on the joints and you might struggle if you're overweight and completely unused to exercise.

Like you, I was never into anything sporty as a child or adolescent - PE was supposed to be compulsory at my school but it wasn't taken seriously and no-one minded if you bunked off, which I did. Spent the next couple of decades being exercise-phobic, and even now you wouldn't get me through the doors of a gym. But about five years ago, at about the age you are now, I started walking for exercise, as well as for getting from A to B, and I haven't looked back. I now walk at least four miles a day (built into my daily commute) and try to manage at least one half-day walk and one full-day walk each month. I also go on walking holidays - there's a company called HF Holidays that does family walking holidays where they either put on children's activities during the day while parents are doing organised walks, or have walks that children can manage if yours are up for it! There are probably other companies doing similar things.

When I decided I needed to get fit I tried running, and found it to be just as you predict - hot, sweaty and sore, and I got zero enjoyment out of it. Walking, on the other hand, makes me feel great. I'm much fitter than I was when I started but it hasn't been hard work at all, just an easy, gentle increase in what I can do. Five years ago I struggled to walk a mile on flat ground. Now I can easily do about 12 miles with 2000 feet of ascent in a day.

If you're committed to running, then good luck with it. But it's not the only option out there, so if it doesn't work for you, don't feel a failure, but try some other ways to get active.

Another one here who hates running and gets zero endorphins out of exercise. I realised awhile ago that I just loathe being too hot & also need some mental stimulation - so switched to a combination of aqua aerobics, dances and Pilates and haven't looked back.

Walking and weights are the best form of exercise .
I hate running with a passion and therefore I don't do it

and again...any movement is exercise. Start by building lots more walking into your day - any journey under 2 miles should be on foot. Try some gym classes that look interesting; if you don't enjoy them, do something different.

if you hate 'team' sports, there are plenty of sports that don't work like this, including most of those on the water. Wrong time of year to start those but think about it next April.

meantime - one foot in front of the other to get places!

A few years ago i found myself about 5st over weight and faced with the prospect of having to fly to cyprus for a family wedding. The thought of my bum not fitting in the tiny plane seat terrified me and gave me the motivation i needed to diet. I lost 2st in a few months through SW but wanted to exercise to tone up a bit.

Being rather unfit i thought i'd start gently with some basic yoga through my local gym but was mortified when the instructor asked my in front of the whole class whether i realised that this activity was for "fit people". That really shook my confidence and I couldn't drag myself back there.

What really worked for my was aqua aerobics at my local pool. If you put the effort in you get a really good work out. The water supports your weight and hides any wobbly bits, without the sweating and soreness.

I have done a full barre ballet class every day for over 60 years, through illness and childbirth.

See if there is one near you and start slowly.It is never too late ...lovely music and like a meditation.

Walk every day for 30 minutes ...another meditation.

Starting quickly with running will injure you.

If you have money and space, a treadmill or exercise bike to use at home while you watch telly is a good option. A trainer told me that even sitting on a Swiss ball rather than a chair was good. You have to make lots of small movements to stay in a stable position.

Hey justwondering I've PMed you - running is awesome and it is hard, but totally worth it

Walking even a mile a day can have health benefits www.theguardian.com/society/2014/aug/29/walking-mile-day-cut-risk-dying-breast-prostate-cancer-40pc
It's also known that exercise helps to reduce visceral fat ,thus reducing risks of developing diabetes and associated conditions www.webmd.com/diet/news/20050914/exercise-fights-hidden-body-fat
At least this might help to motivate you OP, even if you don't enjoy it.

A sedentary life style is very damaging to health so yes a mile a day is better than nothing, even so if walking is your only exercise I'd aim for a bit more than that if at all possible!

Hi OP (and any others)

If you fancy doing C25k, feel free to join us on our thread in Exercise. We're a nice bunch. It gives me a boost every time I add one of my runs to the thread. The problem with telling people in RL is that quite often they don't much want to hear about your exercise regime or sport.

I started in late June and this morning ran 28 minutes without stopping. I am a size 20 so definitely overweight.

Start small. I started walking the kids to and from school 20 mins each way, the. I started adding in a bit more of a walk when I dropped then off. Then I brought an ipad with some really good music and started walk/jog home. It's took me weeks but it works well as I have to take the kids to school and it's much easier once you are out. If you have the money a personal trainer once a week might help

Be carefull starting with running. Im size 20 and injured my achilles and nearly a year later its still not right. I loved c25k but even that wasnt enough to compensate for weight on my joints...

No. Exercise is crap and boring as fuck.

well, depends on what you like. Unfortunately, the OP has said she doesn't like any sport and hasn't done them in ages. I love to play the few sports I am good at and look forward to it all week long.

However, I absolutely agree about running. it is worse than boring as fuck, but I also agree it is efficient. The first run I did after years of inactivity was brutal. I was convinced a 2 year old could outrun me. I think the trick is not to get discouraged and accept that the first few times are going to be extra shit.

However. the nice thing about being inactive for so long is that you improve very fast. Fit people can beat their best (whatever that is) by only seconds, whereas someone who has been inactive can double the distance they first ran after a few runs. You can use that extra encouragement. But you have to do it a few times. The first time is no fun.

All that being said, I think it's probably better to find an activity you actually like, as mustering up motivation for something you hate is really hard (much harder than the physical activity in my opinion). if sports aren't your thing, try cycling, walking, hiking, etc. I have now had many years of being very active and it's great, but I rarely go for a run. I just hate it. But give it a try. There are nuts out there who love it.

It is most definitely worth it and definitely not too late.

You are not wrong though in that for the first several weeks it will be hard work, you will feel sore and depressingly for the first few weeks you will not notice much difference to your fitness levels or weight. This is when most people throw in the towel, but be strong, once you get through the first few weeks of exercise your body WILL begin to respond, you will stop feeling like you have been run over by a herd of elephants in the morning, you will notice it gets that little bit easier to run between A and B, you will bit by bit start shedding weight, start to tone up, you will have more energy, sleep better and dare I say it start to get a bit addicted to it. Friends you have not seen in a while will look shocked at how well you look. It is so so worth it.

First things first, get yourself a decent pair of running shoes, you might have to shell out £60-70 for them but nothing will grind your initial forays into jogging to halt then having poorly fitted shoes that tear your feet to shreds. Get yourself to a proper running shop and ask for an assessment. They will film you for about 30 seconds running on the treadmill then check your gait in slow motion to see how your foot falls and from there they will recommend the correct running shoe for you and your budget.

Second, hop onto runnersworld website and check what events are going on in your area, sign up to a 10km race in say 4 to 5 months’ time which should give you plenty of time to train and get into shape as well as providing a focus for your exercise. There are events up and down the country every weekend hosted by local running clubs, typically you will be paying about £15-22 to enter.

Search for local running clubs, some of these can be a bit ‘hardcore’ but most are very friendly and welcome people of all abilities, I can guarantee that you will not be the only beginner when you join and you will soon find a running partner, also a great way to alleviate any flagging motivation or make sure you turn up on those evenings after a tough day and your body and mind are screaming ‘sit on the sofa’.

If there are no running clubs leave a notice down your local gym asking for a local running partner.

Forget about distance at first, your first objective is to train to the point where you can run without stopping for 30mins, that might be 1km, it might be 5km, it does not matter, if you can run for 30 mins without stopping you are fit enough to start training for a race. This might take you up to 4-6 weeks to get to this point.

Open a free account with mapmyrun.com and buy yourself a cheapo sports watch from Argos, at this stage you do not need some £250 GPS enabled uber watch.

Before and after running stretch, and stretch some more, there are lots of online resources that give sound advice as to how you can do this without hurting yourself. More experienced folk down your running club will be more than happy to help out here.

But remember, it is the first month or so that is the toughest part, when your body wants nothing to do with your new regime, when initial results are not forthcoming as quickly as you like and it is all too easy to say ‘fuck this’. Get through this initial period and you will be laughing!

Forget what you look like when you are out and about, when you are puffing your way around the block and are all sweaty and beetroot red, seriously, nobody gives a shit, at least you are out doing what 95% of people can’t be bothered to do.

Buy some big fluffy towels and a huge bottle of Radox!

Good luck

I agree on the running thing, it's not just being heavy that makes it difficult, Im about 7st 10 and still hate it, am very slow, I do about 10 minutes on the treadmill a few times a week, I prefer cycling, way way more enjoyable, and walking because I love to walk while listening to the radio, or poscasts, or just thinking.
When I run my only thoughts are 'IhaterunningIhaterunningIhaterunning'

I was in your position 2 years ago, hate gyms or running with a passion, I have 2 young children with no family nearby to look after them and dh who works long hours. I love kickboxing so got some good recommendations for DVD that I could do at home in my own time. I do 40 mins a day, I don't drive and have to walk everywhere. I went from a size 16-10 over the course of a year. I am just maintaining

Look at dancing groups, Zumba in your area. Try out some DVDs

That made me laugh, Suzanne. My only thoughts (just started after a long break from exercise) are IwanttostopIwanttostopIwanttostopnow'.

my legs say 'IwanttostopIwanttostop' and my head says IhaterunningIhaterunning

I'd love to love running, there have been fleeting moments of euphoria but mostly it feels like struggling through treacle.
The post exercise high with running for me tends to be a strange sort of wired feeling, swimming gives me the best post and during exercise bliss, but cycling is pretty good