to think you are NOT skint if...

[macdoodle]

You have a nanny and a child in private school. Come on, you obviously have plenty of money, you just choose to spend it all on your choices. You are not skint are you?? AIBU to think this.
Have had to listen to someone moan and moan and moan about how they never have any money left and are always "skint". But they have an almost full time nanny for their younger child (and at times I know mum is having a coffee/going to gym etc while nanny is there, not working), and older child is at a private school. Thats not skint in my book.

It is only ever acceptable to moan about school fees to other people paying them.

It is very insensitive to say you are skint when paying for a private education.

I have friends with the same age kids as me who raised eyebrows at our choice of car seat which was the safest and then go on two week holidays abroad when we can't afford to.

They might say we are ridiculous when we pay £250 For a car seat when you can get then for £30 but it's all a choice.

I don't slag people off for saying they are poor but I bought the car seat outright and then couldn't afford to go out for dinner with friends as I had no money left in account other than for food.

One of them made a comment like "serves you right for buying a ridiculous car seat" but I would rather spend the money on the car seat than go out for dinner and whilst I could absolutely afford to if I wanted to, I would rather not go over drwn for something I don't see as essential like spending £50 on a night out whereas I choose to spend the money on the safest car seat.

everyone has different priorities.

One of them made a comment like "serves you right for buying a ridiculous car seat"

I'd suggest that the dining out friends were on the defensive because you'd obviously done the 'right' thing and they looked decadent by comparison, so they rubbished you to try and make themselves feel better

It's all relative isn't it? They may have high incomings but also high outgoings? If there's nothing left at the end of the month they may indeed feel skint

That's kind if the point of this thread. Having a high income and choosing to spend it on school fees, expensive cars, posh holidays and horses and being skint after all that. Is very different from having little money no luxuries and being skint.

If you have no money after school fees etc., then yes you may be skint. If you go that route they are a commitment.

We all make choices. Mortgages are a choice, having kids is a choice.

But moaning about it to those even more skint, is a bit tacky.

It depends why and when they're saying they're skint. If it's i can't go out for lunch / drinks because I'm skint then that's fair enough. I think skint means "have no available cash" rather than "am actually poor".

" Add message | Report | Message poster kilmuir Fri 29-Aug-14 19:20:32
Maybe she is skint because she has spent it all!
Not relevant what she does when nanny is looking after children"
Well it sort of is because if she's not working then the nanny is pure luxury in which case they're choosing to spend money on that luxury. And then finding they're skint

Yab a bit ur.

It's all relative to your perception of wealth and what's essential.

When I was 14, I used to steal rolls of toilet paper from the local community centre, or public toilets. Because that was the only way we had them some weeks. My mum used to complain of being skint. That's what skint was for her - toilet paper being a luxury.

DH and I spend money on swimming and music lessons for the kids, and on putting a decent amount into savings for our deposit on a bigger house. I still have the odd moan about being skint, with what's left. We're not rolling in it by any means.

My mum would have laughed herself silly at my perception of 'skint'. But like I said, it's all relative. For some, not having much left after school fees probably does leave them feeling skint.

That's kind if the point of this thread. Having a high income and choosing to spend it on school fees, expensive cars, posh holidays and horses and being skint after all that. Is very different from having little money no luxuries and being skint.

I don't think it is. Everyone lives within their means. Skint to one person isn't skint to another. People's lifestyles are different.

People living outside their means (and let's face it, it's often in order to keep up with the Joneses) and then being "skint"- sorry, no sympathy.

Plenty of people like that at work. One annoying chap I know, he's in massive debt but he's all about status. So it's flashy days out (documented on FB), designer clothing for the kids etc but actually they live in someone else's house. Wouldn't mind but he is a twat anyway and always bragging.
Champagne lifestyle on beer money.

I think skint means "have no available cash" rather than "am actually poor".

I agree with museumum

It's not as if you can suddenly cancel school fees, you've committed to paying them for a certain amount of time.

SIL has a lovely big house with a pool, holidays in long haul destinations 3/4 times a year, eats regularly at seriously top notch restaurants, etc (ad nauseam) and is sooooo skint that she can't possibly wait until recently deceased FIL's house is sold to get her inheritance. She wants access to the money from the savings and shares right now because she has credit card bills to pay inc the bill for the very naice hotel she chose to stay in while attending the funeral.

We stayed in a £70 a night for family of four hotel because our family income is less than a quarter of hers and we struggled to find even that.

To me skinny would be little spare disposable income. So if they are paying nanny and private school there might not be much leftover.

I overheard one of the mums at the school gates last week complaining about money.

"Florida's just completely wrung us out this year, so the kitchen will probably have to wait until after Christmas."

That would be the brand new kitchen her friend had asked her about.

And the 5K holiday to Florida for 2 weeks they just took.

I'm struggling to pay £45 off my Seton Sands caravan holiday next April every month right now

Gah!

I think the problem is peoples' definition of skint.

Personally I think it's fine for anyone to say 'I'm skint' if they have no available cash, irrespective of what it has been spent on. It's a snapshot word, right now, right this minute 'I'm skint'. It's not the same as being broke, poor, on the bread line or hard up.

The dictionary agrees with me too
(Of a person) having little or no money available:
I’m a bit skint just now

Available being the key word.

I agree with musuemum. I often say I can't afford stuff. in reality I have money in a savings account. I have a certain amount to spend each month and I save as much as I can. If I have spent the money I have to spend I don't dip into savings unless it's an emergency. I have savings for a reason - I have things I want to do with that money. I have my priorities right for our lifestyle. Yes I could spend everything we earn but then I wouldn't have a buffer in am emergency and could end up getting in debt.

Yes, but if you have committed to school fees, and a certain type of child care, it's highly likely you have no money left for a night out, or a new dress.

I run a car, and my DC do loads of extra curricular activities 0- and other things I've committed to, but could cancel if really, really necessary and I permanently feel skint, as in I have little money for things l want to do, rather than need to do.

We all have shoes, and coats and food though, so in many peoples books are very well off. It's all relative.

My neighbour is skint. She has no money at all you know. I think it's probably the mooring fees for her yacht that does it.

Or, in SiL's case, she chooses to spend all her money on a lavish lifestyle. We save to buy things we need. Yet when her parents need help, it is our savings that have to pay for it, because she's got nothing left, because she's bloody well spent it all. We then have to go without the things we need. That means WE are subsidising HER lifestyle. Now that is bloody annoying.

YANBU. They should come here and try being skint for a bit, I have a severely bald tyre on my front passenger side, I cant put my spare on because its on the drivers side and has been for ages, we haven't had a tv in over 3 months and my hoovers packed in now. Can I have a nanny so I can go run screaming somewhere to feel better?

Should we distinguish between relative and absolute skint-ness?
I dont think we should, skint surely means potless, close to destitution, lacking in means, unable to procure the basics of life.

it is not the same as having a cashflow problem, or not much cash because your wealth is tied up in property.

If skint means "I've over committed financially and can't pay for X, Y, Z right now" I think that's OK. I think it's unacceptable if they want other people to subsidise them - that's different

Florida's just completely wrung us out this year, so the kitchen will probably have to wait until after Christmas

That doesn't sound like complaining to me, just a statement.

I have friends like this too. They go on and on about how tight finances are one minute and then the next minute they're off to Florida and on skiing holidays for a family of 6!