to think you are NOT skint if...

[macdoodle]

You have a nanny and a child in private school. Come on, you obviously have plenty of money, you just choose to spend it all on your choices. You are not skint are you?? AIBU to think this.
Have had to listen to someone moan and moan and moan about how they never have any money left and are always "skint". But they have an almost full time nanny for their younger child (and at times I know mum is having a coffee/going to gym etc while nanny is there, not working), and older child is at a private school. Thats not skint in my book.

It's all relative. One person's truly skint is another person's "only" a grand until pay-day while they have assets and substantial savings.

People who appear to have comfortable life-styles often admit to being skint in order to not be seen to lord it over those who they think are substantially less well-off.

I once had an employer expect sympathy from me when the exchange-rates changed significantly and they "lost" thousands of pounds. Which to me meant they had hundreds of thousands of pounds to hand, maybe millions, in order to for it to make any impact. Meanwhile I was being paid in shirt-buttons.

I dont know how much private school costs, but I can imagine that only a very small percentage of the population can afford it without making sacrifices elsewhere.

Similarly, the annual salary of a nanny, when taking into account employers NI contributions etc is probably higher than most peoples take home pay, so you need two very substantial salaries just to cover just getting up and going to work every day and if you know you are a high earner, you probably think I earn more than most people, so I should be able to spend on ordinary stuff without thinking, but the problem is that many peoples definition of normal/every day/pretty ordinary expenditure can be quite extravagent and many luxuries are seen as essential to the extent that you need a very substantial income to afford it all.

So there will be people on quite substantial incomes leading what they think are not especially extravagant lifestyles that are either getting into debt, or running out of money or whatever, that therefore feel skint.

Yanbu. I find people who claim to be broke when they are clearly either well off or making their own lavish choices very annoying and insensitive.

My in laws say this constantly! Apparently they don't have any money because it's all being swallowed up by the mortgage ... on their third home.

Before i say what I'm about to say, I'd just like to say that in not 'well off'. No nannies, private schools or horses round here.

But, on the other side of this coin, its also annoying when sometimes you aren't allowed to say that you don't have the money for x, just because you happen to have y. For example, dh and i were invited on a holiday abroad (well a wedding but would have been at least a weeks holiday) which we declined due to finances. We were slagged off about that because we happened to give the kitchen a lick of paint and new floor, and get a new fridge. I dont see what business it is of anyone else what we chose to spend our money on and what we considered the priority.

I have friends like this.

I think they actually really believe they are skint.

I only know 2 people who consider themselves skint and they are also the richest people I know. One just inherited £2.5M and the other has 5 children at private schools

Oh god a friend of mine, probably the wealthiest friend I know (husband works in the city, massive ancient listed house, new clothes and hols all the time etc) once announced to me "it's terrible. We've done the calculations and we MAY be overdrawn by October."

My response of "welcome to my life, you get used to it" didn't go down well. Neither did my suggestion of sending her kids to one of the three outstanding local state schools rather than the private one she opted for. You makes your bed...

Can i just say that having a nanny in general does not indicate wealth.

In my case it is after school nanny and only 3 times pw so total 10-12 hrs. This is to enable me to work. It is cheaper than cm because i have 3 dcs.

In your friend's case it does sound like a luxury. Ditto the private school.

The. 'we are skint after our hol in Flirida/villa/cruise annoys me too.

Or the 100K new house extension and luxury kitchen 'skint'.

What annoys me is that those people usually say this just before a birtday/wedding in the group or christmas. So it is like a warning/excuse for no present or contribution to something for the group.

it sounds as if 'Im skint' is often a euphemism for 'I cant afford to live up to my own expectations' :o

They probably feel skint if they have no money left at the end if the month, but they aren't really skint as they can easily change their lifestyle and have lots of spare money.

or
'I have no disposable income and I dont want to liquidate my assets'

Oops !
Sorry Bauer!
I ve just read your post. I didn't mean it as a response to you.

I guess it is all relative. We are having problems paying our bills each month, it is very worrying. I got moaned at by a friend for not attending a mutual friend's £50 a head birthday meal and I said we are a bit broke and she ranted back at me that she too is broke despite having been to France and the Carribbean this year.

What she means is there is a handbag she fancies buying and can't buy it today.

My SiL and her DH are just like this. Constantly moaning about how they can't make ends meet, yet can't contribute to any large purchases for the parents. For instance, we have had to buy PiL two cars over the years. First time, we already weren't going on holiday as we wanted to get our bathroom done. Had to buy PiL this car (under strict instruction from Sil, who couldn't afford to contribute). We consequently had to put our bathroom on hold. She, on the other hand went on holiday and bought a new carpet. And this happens time after time (we've since had to fund another car, without any contribution from her). And then they post pics on F/Book of their holidays in Dubai, Mexico, the Bahamas, etc, always got the latest phones and gadgets, always in new clothes.

(I could go on and on - GAAAHHHHHH)!

A couple of friends do it too. I think some people don't understand the meaning of the word "skint" (or they see the rest of us with the word 'MUG' written on our foreheads).

Annoys the hell out of me, but DP lets them get on with it. Grrrr

evans well done on not saying anything to your sil. Not sure I would have been quite do restrained.

Agree with bauer. Really not ok to expect people to go on holiday and slag them off for sensible spending.

It is insensitive and therefore awful if people are moaning about being skint when they are with others who have so much less BUT skint is a relative concept and there will always be someone with less.

So if I'm skint because I can't afford a holiday this year - that's fine if I am talking to my just -off-to-the-beach friends but if my friend has never had a holiday that is insensitive and NOT skint.

Maybe she is skint because she has spent it all!
Not relevant what she does when nanny is looking after children

Skint is not having enough money for food and bills. They are not skint.

The classic for me is when dp prices non essential work for people who make a point of saying how skint they are and have a limited budget....errr don't have a built in wardrobe built with separate compartments for your 40 pairs of shoes then......its not the best negotiating tool , it puts my back up and i have the veto on the quotes and unlike dp i am not a push over!

I'm wondering how having horses indicates wealth?

..depends what you mean by skint. They could well have a cash flow problem.

Skint is relative, and a feeling of being skint is dependant not always on how much you have, but on how much others around you have.

It's all relative isn't it? They may have high incomings but also high outgoings? If there's nothing left at the end of the month they may indeed feel skint.