to wonder where some fat blokes get their seemingly boundless self-confidence with women from...

[fishdishwish]

Whereas others really seem to struggle on the dating/romance front?

And do early experiences have much to do with it?

If you take out the weight aspect, some men simply believe that women will naturally fall at the feet because of them being male.

A little, or a lot in some cases, of extra weight doesn't dent that kind of ego.

Because some people realise that the worth of a person is not based at all in their aesthetic? Maybe that's wishful thinking.

It's all about the confidence OP. Love your self and others will love you. Seriously.

Maybe they're just nicer people than you with your fat prejudice.

Agree with Talcum.

Disgrace i hope your username is meant in a lighhearted way.

Sorry lighThearted.

agree that it is confidence.

Confident (not cocky!) people are attractive.

If you feel like you are not good enough - you will seem not good enough.

your weight is not the issue, it is how you feel about yourself.

There are a lot of women who are very very attracted to larger men.

You need to work on raising your self esteem. I am sure you are a perfectly nice person. You need to let people see that.

To be honest fat men do just fine short men on the other hand can get it a little rough.

Its all to do with personality and self confidence I think. There's more to a person than their weight and/or looks.

im fat, have been for a while. Without being big headed i have always had interest from the opposite sex (not always wanted!!) and i believe that's because im bubbly, approachable, fun and very smiley (helps i have a nice smile too!) i think they see that before they see the fat!

if you go around thinking "im fat, im fat" then that's all people will see. And shallow people will only notice the fat, less shallow people wont be attracted to someone with low self confidence.

Darkesteyes Oh yes! I created it as a not so wry comment on the misogynist arsebiscuits who do indeed disgrace their gender. You meet a lot of them in haulage.

MardyBra - erm, I'm over 20 stone, so I don't think I can really be accused of anti-fat prejudice...!!

When I was a teenager, I had a lot of 'not if you were the last person on the planet'-type rejections - hardly uncommon, I know, but I took them to heart, and they still affect me 20 years later - which is why I put in the bit about early experiences.

Whilst I think there's far less pressure on men than women when it comes to appearance and body shape, I think there's still an expectation for men to make the first move when it comes to dating - which is where low self-esteem can be crucial.

You might still have internalised the prejudice fish

Maybe, Arsenicy. I hope not, though...

No idea where they get it from OP, maybe they're just too thick to realise that their fatness means they really should be filled with self loathing and insecurity. Who do they think they are, having confidence?

Well, from your posts you almost certainly have. As have ninety five per cent plus of society.

Your question starts from a position of assuming fat is undesirable rather than a neutral fact or feature.

Not everyone sees it that way.

I know it isn't easy to ignore societal ideas about weight, shape, height, hair colour etc BTW

We all absorb them.

Where are these fat blokes in the media? Even Chris Pratt and Seth Rogen are ripped now. Maybe some rappers? Everyone else seems to be pumped regardless of gender.

Oh i see Cool @Disgrace

I used to date a lorry driver wayyyyyyyyyyy back in 1991. Ive never seen such a huge stack of porn in all my life.

Sorry.........slghtly off topic. And i do realise not all drivers are like it.

i know what you mean op.

Strangest couple I know of, the revolting and unfunny Johnny Vegas, and the beautiful journalist/presenter Maia Dunphy. Google 'em.

Are 'fat' men confident around women? I have NO idea. Because fat men, thin men, fit men, ugly men, green men - none of them ever chat me up. Sob.

You might as well say where do some men get their confidence with women from whereas other men struggle on the romance front.

Take out the 'fat' and it's just the same. Some men seem confident some do not. It's all about how you feel about yourself and others.

I think it can depend on the environment a person grows up in. Some parents see instilling confidence in their children as an important thing. Some dont.

There are loads of different factors that can affect a childs confidence while growing up. Whether or not they are bullied at school as just one example.

Confidence and a warm heart will make any person look attractive.

The trick is (and I'm not saying this is easy for everyone) to love yourself and realize that you are a fantastic catch that a man would be lucky to have. Then pick your man accordingly, and don't ever settle thinking you're lucky a man put up with you.

Anyway, figure out what your strong points are and emphasize them, and wear whatever makes you feel good and attractive. Everyone has a few outfits that they look fantastic in (and if you don't, get one. Even thrift stores have nice things).

Girl with a lion heart has it

The media is always showing shambolic, fat, nerdy, boy/men getting dates from women 12 million times more attractive than them
Knocked up etc etc
This gives idiots everywhere the belief that they are too good for women who are similar to them
It also reinforces to women that they should give them a go

The only fat actresses we now have are Melissa McCarthy being... well ...professionally fat in place of humour or the roles and comedy she deserves
She doesn't have a crazily hot boyfriend
No messages to men there

There are millions of women simply not represented by film and tv and this is really influencing what women and men think about themselves and their attractiveness

Don't even get me started on disabled women....and their chances

Robbie Coltrane when he was doing Cracker. I so would have.