To wonder why so many MNers treat FB with such disdain?

[moominmarvellous]

Not so much a thread about a thread as a thread based on several.

There seems to be a nasty undercurrent on Mumsnet that Facebook/Social Media (yes, including the current ice phenomenon) is for plebs and those who are self centred or somehow out of touch with reality.

The same remarks are to be found on pretty much all threads that mention FB - along the lines of:

'You're not a teenager!'

'How do you have time for it?'

'You do know it's not real?'

'It's so self absorbed/self centred/ Me, me, me'

Mumsnet Talk is itself a form of social media, on which we all air our personal views and opinions, and which we all find time for. TBH more time than it takes scrolling through an FB newsfeed.

But also our children will at some point, if not already, be experiencing many of the issues that online communication presents. They'll come to us for advice on managing online relationships and/or we'll have to deal with the fallout of something said or posted in haste or poor judgement.

It seems to me that those not making the time for it - even on a basic level are actually leaving themselves out of touch with how society and communication is changing?

It probably colours my view that I work with teens on issues surrounding the ways in which they communicate and form relationships (on and offline) and to see so many negative, and in some cases uninformed* opinions on a parenting site is a bit worrying.

i agree with Latte
plus it is naff

'like this post if you hate cancer'
and GROWN ADULTS lining up pictures of their birthday presents with ' lucky me' under it

I like Facebook.

I have made so many friends by meeting people in real life and then adding them on FB and keeping in touch.

I'm going on holiday with 5 of them tomorrow, people I'd probably only ever see every now again have become proper friends I see all the time because it's so easy to keep in touch.

I like seeing my friends' photos from their holidays and of their families.

No one annoys me on it because I don't add people I dislike, and if people start being tedious I hide them.

I think it's such a great tool for sharing and my life is genuinely the better for it.

kablooger Ooh yes, naff. And I bet all those people who use FB decorate their house with twigs in tall glass jars, pebbles, fairy lights and have wooden posters saying 'live, laugh, love'. Bet they wear tunics with leggings too.

raises eyebrow at lure

Oh definitely Penises.

Your entire post has touched upon the very reasons that I have a job.

It's also the reason why it really does pay to not look down upon it. It's just the superior attitude we see on here that widens the gap between teens and their parents at a time when it's actually far easier to stay in touch with them. On both a communication and an emotional level.

To me, using that to our advantage is definitely more intelligent than saying 'It's crap'.

I don't use FB, so coming at this from an outside perspective, but as I encounter it, via other people's usage, conversation, and Mn threads, it often seems like a huge devourer of time, a constant source of alienation and irritation (defriending, friends posting about social events other friends not invited to, feeling depressed or competitive about other people's perceived better lives 'friends' posting rancid political views, or sexist/homophobic material etc) and a way of being exposed to what sounds, frankly, like a load of banality - photos of cute pets, ravings about TV programmes, selfies, inane memes, and the online equivalent of chain letters.

I appreciate it's a good way to keep in touch with distant family and friends, but it sounds to me as if far too much other stuff is potentially involved.

It appeals to the toddler in all of us. Endless showing off, nosiness and petty squabbling abound.

It's juvenile and naff.

I think perhaps you're confusing things somewhat. Many people, such as myself, like many good things about Facebook but get pissed off with many things about it too. It's like the rest of life in that respect, doesn't mean you have to pigeon-hole it all as loving Facebook or hating Facebook.

Agree totally - like anything in life, it is what you make it, delete & hide what you don't like - not rocket science is it. I use it for keeping in touch with friends scattered to the 4 corners if the earth, family we don't live close to & keeping up with what's going on locally too - plus like x2boys it's been invaluable with groups relating to a rare condition my DD was diagnosed with

Though that said, we've had RL friends not get the tongue firmly in cheek, jokey nature of some other mutual friends posts, ours too for that matter & go off pee taking & gossiping about "airing dirty laundry in public" & attention seeking" or "their a bit mad really" posts - but then IME these have been the same people whose DCS have been left free reign to roam & do what they like in cyberspace & end up in trouble because the parents have missed it - so I do think that in those cases, case it's Simpky more about general ignorance of FB et al

'like this post if you hate cancer' and GROWN ADULTS lining up pictures of their birthday presents with 'lucky me' under it

I am laughing out loud at that. It's funny cos it's true.

And UncleT you're absolutely right. It's very varied. I find I can't love or hate it. It just is.

I love FB too and don't understand why so many people have a downer on it. You don't have to act like a teenager or update your status every hour or share all your personal information. You can use it how you like and set your privacy settings etc how you like. I use it to share pictures of my DS mostly (most family and friends are in other countries), to connect with people I knew long ago (has lead to some lovely reunions) and to connect with sites and people related to my DS's special needs. It is fab.

I hate the threads on here endlessly whinging about it!
They hate people posting on holidays, they hate children being mentioned- especially if they have done well- they hate parties and people having a good time generally! They can't win because they don't like the banal stuff either! I asked once if there was anything people could safely post about and there was nothing!
There is a lot of sneering about 'you can't be having a good holiday if you are online'- when that is mainly when I post to keep in touch with my sons and it takes literally seconds to upload a photo.
Instead of whinging - accept it is not for you and keep off. Above all cut it down to real friends that you are bothered about. Hundreds of friends on there means that you don't really know most of them! And you couldn't care less about most of them!
Generally it is envy- people are perceived to be having a better life- which you would do if you present only the side you want to present!

Exactly theDudesmummy- if you don't use it like that , and it upsets you, keep off!

Latte - I think you've taken my point differently than I intend it.

I have no problems with FB personally and I didn't mean to come across as whinging at all. I'm just having a bit of a debate about it because of some of the opinions I notice on here and I suppose, how that crosses over with the opinions and issues I discuss at work.

Social media is a big deal and the way some people dismiss it (parents especially) seems a bit shortsighted.

True that FB isn't the media of choice for later teens but it does seem to be for 13-15 year olds who I work with. It's quite often the first foray into social media - then they drop it for something their parents haven't heard of yet!

Again - who's whinging? sigh

The problem with facebook is not facebook.

Its people who have too many people on facebook. People who they don't really understand and think they know, but don't.

Its unlike forums, because of the level of intimacy and how personal it can therefore be.

You expect different things from people you interact with on FB and those you meet elsewhere on the internet.

And yes, the purpose of FB is essentially about you - rather than somewhere like MN where it is about issues or people.

Communication online is also a skill. One that a lot of people don't really understand. Tone is completely absent and its difficult to convey the same message in written format as a result. We take it for granted that communication on the internet is the same as in person, and its just not.

Today 10:46 moominmarvellous

Again - who's whinging? sigh

^^ sorry my turn to read out of context

There are a lot of pretentious self absorbed idiots on Facebook too but I just hide people when they annoy me!

That's true that the yoof don't use FB that much. Ds2 uses it a bit but does far more communication via other new fangled social networking sites.

moomin - no, you have misread my post. It's perfectly clear you don't have an issue with FB.

It seems to me that those not making the time for it - even on a basic level are actually leaving themselves out of touch with how society and communication is changing?

I think ^ is a ridiculous comment.

My other point was that I don't care whether people use Facebook or not & I don't see it as being for plebs and I think it's brilliant for some people. However, what does irritate the crap out of me are all the threads (for clarity not this one) where people are moaning about xyz on Facebook. If it's on FB keep it on FB, stop starting a zillion threads on here whinging about FB - it's irritating.

If you have FB, I suspect that it is quite a good barometer for your life. If you choose to surround yourself with stupid shallow people, your FB feed will be full of "like if you hate cancer" posts.

For keeping in touch with distant relatives and friends it can be nice.

However I seem to have to hide more and more nowadays and it's not really worth it. The endless selfies, the daft statuses, the "I love my hubby and little cute tutti so much" (apparently not enough to just tell them given they are sat in the same room) etc are simply tedious and behaviour I would expect from teens not grown adults.

I like facebook. It is like anything else. If you go to the pub with bores and drama queens you are not going to enjoy yourself. If you have facebook friends who are bores and drama queens, you are going to get frustrated with it.

Once people accept it is not FB but FB friends who are the problem they might enjoy it!