in putting my 14 week old in her own room?

[Whatabeautifulsight10]

You will see from a previous post that 3ish weeks ago I had a perfect sleeping baby at night. I'm talking 13 hours no feeds solid sleep (I take no credit, she was sucking her fingers and taking herself off to sleep). It was amazing.

Fast forward 3 weeks and dd has hit the growth spurt/sleep regression/milestone meeting stage and therefore it's all gone wrong.

She's forgotten how to self soothe, is up every 2 hours at least and stirs constantly from 4am.

So, to give background I'm a light sleeper and ftm so I wake every time dd blinks. I've resorted to wearing ear plugs so I can't hear the constant wriggling, but can hear grizzles/crying, and we have a motion sensor. Dh is heavy sleeper and none of this bothers him..

Obviously I accept that I will be without sleep but I've realised that DD's sleep is being affected by room sharing too. She is, since last week, stiring at the slightest noise, waking each time I move in bed, I have to wake up each time dh starts to move and hold him so the bed doesn't creak, and poor dd is woken up by dh coming in from night shifts also.

Tonight, I've gone without a shower so as not to make noise, but dd woke as I switched a light off in en suite. I've been literally silent but she's just woken and was screaming.

So.. Would I be unreasonable in light of current guidelines considering dh's shifts, me being awake all night, and Dds interrupted sleep to put her into her own room near to ours if movement monitor was used??

Anyone been in this situation? Did the separate rooms help? Sorry for long post, I'm tired and hiding my head under covers so light doesn't disturb dd who is thrashing about again...

Must be a marsupial thing MrsKoala.

OP can you come back with an update re simulated breathing? I've got #3 due in March and I'd be very interested to know what options are available.

FGS. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MONITOR YOU HAVE. They need to be in with you to regulate their breathing.

How do people STILL not know this?

YABU

She has addressed that Grobags - the HV is getting back to her re breathing simulators.

As someone else pointed out, in a BF baby in a non-smoking house the risk is actually only similar to FF, so actually not that huge. Everyone makes their own risk assessments and works out what is best for their own situation. Being exhausted also carries risks.

They don't need to be in with you; it's a risk-assessment situation. It's not a case of, 'if you don't do X, then Y will happen'. Because it won't, necessarily. It might. But it also might might not.

I'm sure the OP knows the risks - she must do, or otherwise she'd just be blithely going ahead and doing what she wants without worry, and the need to garner opinions on the internet.

Hi OP, I hope it worked out for you; it's awful trying to function & feed & care for a baby when you're suffering from sleep deprivation yourself.
You have to weigh up the risks & do what's right for you & your baby. The sleep simulator does sound like a wonderful thing, though would your baby monitor pick it up as actual breathing?

(At the other end of the spectrum, how do I get my 16 year old out of his own bedroom? )

But it's not just about the noise. It's the production of carbon dioxide. I wish the NHS etc would stop patronising women and share the actual science behind advice so we could make informed choices.

I'm sure OPs baby will be fine. The risk for a BF baby is tiny. But choices should be based on science not myths.

The CO2 may be why a fan in the room cuts SIDS risk down a lot. Also white noise to help everyone sleep. Would that be an option?

Totally personal choice. You're making an informed decision. both of my DC went into their own room at 2weeks which just gave me enough time with DH helping out after EMCS. We just used to wake them up with lights, bathroom noise, snoring (DH) etc. it was best for us. You need to do what's best for you.

But it's not just about the noise. It's the production of carbon dioxide

But the production of carbon dioxide and the breathing regulation are two different factors.
The carbon dioxide thing is why you don't give them bumpers, blankets and you don't smoke around them etc and the breathing thing is because the sound of a parent's breathing helps them to regulate their own breathing.
So if your concern is that moving them into a different room would mean they can't hear the breathing then a breathing simulator can help. The carbon dioxide issues can be dealt with separately.

Put her in her own room. My babies went into their own rooms when we returned from the maternity unit, 3 days and 5 days, and they were both good sleepers, never any problems. Of course, it was the 1970s; I don't know anything about these new guidelines.

Things have changed a bit in 40 years. Then babies would have slept on their tummies as well. That change alone has prevented many babies dying from SIDS.

I wouldn't do it. But then my dc did stop breathing one night. Even though I was asleep I heard her stop. And I woke up with a start. Silence. No breathing. I grabbed her out of the cot to try and bring her round, and, thank goodness, after a while she did start breathing again. But I sometimes wonder what would happened if she hadn't been right next to me and instead in a room where I couldn't hear her as clearly.

DD went in her room at about 17 weeks, wasn't really through choice. We were having a bad night and I put her in her cot for a break and she settled immediately. I felt dreadful and fretted all night but she seemed to prefer it and has slept like a log pretty much since

My DD woke once during the night for a feed when she was born. I put her in her own room at 8 weeks and from that day on she didnt wake up through the night til she was night trained and got up to go to the toilet.

DS1 went in at 5 months but only because we hadnt got round to decorating his room. DS2 went in around 4 months for the same reason.

Ive never had problems with any of them at bedtime. DS2 has just transitioned into his big boy bed like a dream.

OP YANBU and are getting a bit if a hard time here.

SIDS risk drops off sharply after 3 months and own room is no larger a risk factor than co-sleeping or formula feeding.