to ask you how bad this is.

[4boys78]

last child unplanned. so at dinner whilst on holiday I said I hadn't relaxed as much as I woud have liked (due to running around after toddler).
dh replied well you never had an abortion.
I feel so sad as I feel dh will always throw this back in my face and will never do the hard slog withh our last child
so how bad is this on scale 1 to 10

10

In front of the children?

Unbelievable.

How do you put up with him?

not sure I can anymore

I usually find quite a few on mn a lot more sensitive to comment than I am irl, but what he said would definitely not go unchallenged by me - it's horrid.

What a nasty thing to say.

11

Truly awful. Especially on front of your other children. Making it clear that any child is unwanted is unforgivable.

I honestly think I would be questioning the relationship.

1. For thinking that about our child.
2. For having told me to abort.
3. For expecting me to do all the childcare.

This seems to be a relatively black and white choice between keeping a husband and the emotional well being of my son

No contest.

156 - what an utter cunt

For your boys you need to sort this out. And by sort it out I mean read him the fucking riot act or show him the door.

Being kind, was wondering if it was a really badly thought out attempt at a joke. Reading that he said it front of the kids and hasn't been much help - then he sounds like a wanker.

Wow. Just awful. Deal breaker if that's really how he feels. He needs to never say again and work on relationship with DS4 and you.

That's terrible, I'm not sure I could get over that.

87

I don't think I could get over that comment. To imply that you should have aborted an existing child is just hateful. Is he generally cold with the child?

Oh gosh, i'm so sorry he said that, OP

Awful.

I think i'd leave, to be honest, i could and have taken a lot of crap, but when they start on the children directly, that's a dealbreaker for me.
He could so easily say these sort of things as your last DS gets older, when it would really hurt, and damage his emotional wellbeing.

Yours too, because you don't say you wish you hadn't had him despite being the one run ragged.

Fuck him off.
Twat.

10
I had an unplanned third. He's 7 now. My husband can be insensitive at the best of times but never at the expense of his children

10