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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what actually helped when you were suffering from depression?

169 replies

iamelectrogirl · 25/08/2014 02:32

Hi, quite a self explanatory title really.
Just wondering if there was anything that really made a difference to you when you were suffering from depression.
I'm really really struggling right now and I can't easily take Anti-Depressants due to pregnancy/ breastfeeding plans. I'd really like to hear if anything helped from anybody with any experience
Smile

(Chose this forum due to high traffic but can delete/move)

OP posts:
nexxa · 25/08/2014 09:54

I have to exercise several times a week (won't out self), so I don't feel this makes a difference to me personally. Though maybe I'd feel worse without it...I don't know

I do feel making sure am awake and washed and dressed very early helps.

The tidy house helps me too. But I worry about ridiculous details (E.g. one coat hanger not facing right direction) and can't rest until I've altered it.

DearTeddyRobinson · 25/08/2014 10:07

Antidepressants. There are several types that are ok to take while pregnant & breast feeding, I was on Efexor. I had severe depression pre-pregnancy, sorted by ADs. Stopped taking them when pregnant and felt dreadful immediately, I saw a psychiatrist (IME GPs know sod all about depression) who reassured me it was ok to go back on the meds. DS is now 18mo and very happy and healthy Smile

CarbeDiem · 25/08/2014 10:09

Exercise.
Good diet.
Writing my thoughts in a diary.
Counselling.
I've tried many different AD's and while they chemically work I found they made me numb. It often felt like I was standing on glass with my depression underneath it - it wasn't touching me but I could still see it.

I may sound a bit 'woohoo' here but it works for me so I don't mind sharing :)

  • visualise a big box in your head (place it in the back of your mind) It has a big lock. If you are worrying, stressing or sad about about something lock the problem in the box, lock it and push it to it's place (to the back of your mind) It obviously doesn't make any problems/worries magically better but can give you a break from them- to give you 10 mins peace or let you sleep, you know where they are and can choose when to take them out and deal with them.
BoffinMum · 25/08/2014 10:13

Citalopram and a great GP.
Final step was getting proper medical treatment for the condition I had that had removed my mobility. Then all the psychological stuff all evaporated in a puff of smoke and I was my old self again.

LaBelleDameSansPatience · 25/08/2014 10:13

My counsellor told me that the tidy house is a symptom not a cure ... as in, when I can't bear the mess and can't cope and my 8-year-old ends up do the washing up at 9pm because she is so desperate to help Blush, then I need help. When I feel good, I can wade through piles of untidiness without noticing because I am busy doing things. It is not tidying the house that has cured the depression!
Exercise - fast walks with dog. Getting harder now it is darker in the mornings.
Homeopathy ... I know that loads of people are now going to jump in to pour scorn and ridicule upon my head (MN is such a lovely supportive place at times Hmm) but it helps me. It's up to others whether they want to try it ...
Counsellor doesn't actually help much - NH referral by GP as support in my role as a carer - but homeopath has been in a similar position to me re caring, so also acts as counsellor.

RonaldMcDonald · 25/08/2014 10:18

Therapy and anti ds

meglet · 25/08/2014 10:20

Exercise, every single day. A mixture of martial arts, yoga, gym, pump etc. I'm naturally hyper so long walks don't touch the sides and I need something harder to relax me.

And good CBT counselling. For months, none of this silly 8 week course nonsense that seems to be handed out these days.

Having said that I'm struggling massively this summer. I'm either at work or with the dc's, not been to the gym since July and my moods are shot to pieces Sad. Next time I'm booking them in to a short activity even on my days off.

jammygem · 25/08/2014 10:22

I did a course of intensive CBT, which did help - but the most helpful thing from that was the little project my therapist asked me to do at the end. I chose to make a scrapbook, just detailing my thougths about therapy/antidepressants/things that help/triggers/what to do when suicidal/my goals...

I finished CBT nearly 3 years ago now, but still add a few pages every 6 months or so - just reading back through it I see how far I've come and it gets me through the really dark days.

redexpat · 25/08/2014 10:23

Exercise.

Routine.If you're going on ML research what groups meet when and where. The knowledge that they are there helps.

Sleeping - when depressed I sleep for 16 hours, so try not to.

Getting out for a walk first thing in the morning.

Eating regularly.

5 portions of fruit nad veg.

Counselling - when my other fiend got a job in her field (we were the last 2 left without jobs in our circle) I booked an appointment immediately. I didnt feel down at that point, but I thought that it might adfect me, and it did.

YY to a tidy house, but I find it has to be tidy when I get up, because otherwise the day never gets going. So tidy up before you go to bed.

bebebringingup · 25/08/2014 10:24

Meds, exercise and getting out and about.

FelineLou · 25/08/2014 10:26

This saying helped me adjust my thoughts. A bit soft but it rang in my head in a military hospital.
................................
I wept because I had no shoes
And then I met a man who had no feet.

Poetry, in general, sums up emotions in small portions.

Oh and jam sandwiches when I came home from work! Don't try to eat sensible - comfort food can lift your mood.

RonaldMcDonald · 25/08/2014 10:30

BTW there are a number of anti ds that you can take very safely whilst preg

1Cheesedoff · 25/08/2014 10:34

I totally agree with you on the homoeopathy. It is the worlds best kept secret. I used to have the worse panic attacks thought I was going crazy. Use homoeopath for children too hayfever etc, REALLY WORKS! Good luck.

bananaleaf · 25/08/2014 10:41

I have also taken a multi pronged approach over the years, so yes to exercise, yoga, walking, limiting processed foods, significantly reducing alcohol consumption. Have had ADs in the past but hated them and weaned off them.
The the most effective thing I have done however is to change the way I think. I have achieved this through a lot of reading, admittedly 'self help' type books and also meditation. This has been instrumental in:
Reminding myself this dark cloud will lift and the depressed state I'm currently in will not last. This is important for me as it's the thought of it going on and on which causes the most anxiety.
Ceasing the negative inner dialogue and constantly berating myself (Louise Hay - you can heal your life)
Asking myself if a certain negative or pessimistic thought is actually true, and if it's possible that it's not true then questioning whether I should believe it (Byron Katie - loving what is)
Asking myself if the perceived problem I am worrying about is actually a real problem I have to deal with right now. If it's something that happened in the past or might happen in the future I stop thinking about it.
Being aware of my thoughts and not allowing the mind to race along like a runaway train convincing me everything is gloom and doom. It's an interesting exercise to watch and wait for your next thought and see what it is. (Eckhart Tolle - Power of Now)
Also Depressive Illness by Chris Cantopher. This book recognises depression as a physical illness. It does talk about ADs but also addresses the way of thinking as being of critical importance and recommends further reading including the Eckhart Tolle book.
I had a baby 8 months ago and was very worried about PND and I have felt myself on the edge a few times but where in the past my thinking would have pushed me over I now don't place as much importance on the worries and what-if scenarios my mind conjures up. This is where a moment or two of meditation helps me. I don't feel complacent about this, but I do feel I have more tools at my disposal and more of a sense that it's not inevitable.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 25/08/2014 10:42

Great advice on here but please be careful with omega 3 supplements as the high levels of vitamin A can be harmful in pregnancy.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 25/08/2014 10:43

Great advice on here but please be careful with omega 3 supplements as the high levels of vitamin A can be harmful in pregnancy.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 25/08/2014 10:43

Great advice on here but please be careful with omega 3 supplements as the high levels of vitamin A can be harmful in pregnancy.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 25/08/2014 10:43

Great advice on here but please be careful with omega 3 supplements as the high levels of vitamin A can be harmful in pregnancy.

mammmamia · 25/08/2014 10:43

Exercise
Diet
Getting enough sleep - absolutely key for me
I had psychotherapy and found it a total waste of time. Never tried CBT but I would if I needed help again.
Also changed jobs

bananaleaf · 25/08/2014 10:44

Love that saying feline

chinamoon · 25/08/2014 10:45

Also, if you do take Omega 3, get advice on which products. Some are in casings that trigger cystitis. Last thing you want while pregnant.

chinamoon · 25/08/2014 10:48

Jammygem would you mind explaining more about the project/scrap book thing - the purpose of it and what your therapist suggested you include?

I absolutely loathe therapy/counselling. The few times I've tried it I felt so much worse, so quickly, for the whole time it lasted (not long!) but love some of the techniques (CBT) and this one sounds good.

Terrierterror · 25/08/2014 10:48

Being kind to yourself.

On a day when you're feeling awful, getting up and having a shower is an achievement. Don't judge yourself because you can find things daunting. Focus on each small positive step you take.

travelswithtea · 25/08/2014 10:49

Sorry things are so rubbish for you. Everyone has said exercise, but it is awfully hard to get motivated to do stuff like that when you are alone. Yoga etcetc is all good and well, but when getting out of bed is hard enough spending time with yourself is, well, you have to be in the 'right' mindset. I would honestly suggest you join a team instead. Netball, basketball, volleyball, football, something like that. It doesn't have to be a good team, and you don't have to be brilliant. There are leagues all over the UK and people of all abilities. My basketball team is shite (I mean it in the nicest possible way!), way down in the d-league, but it helps seeing the same people every week in a different context, running around like unfits idiots on a court and not catching the ball properly, and playing matches against other teams who you can band against together and say things like 'Whoohoo, we beat the hell out of them, now let's go have a drink!' or 'They are so up themselves and the ref obviously knows them so no wonder we lost, now let's go have a drink!' Your team relies on you, and you rely on your team, and it makes a big difference to how you think about exercise! The commitment isn't every day, so you start slowly, and you don't have to feel like a failure because you didn't do your yoga or jog or walk every single day that week.

iK8 · 25/08/2014 10:51

I had antenatal depression. It was horrendous and i really don't think anything other than having the baby would have sorted it out.

The minute I gave birth it was as if a cloud had lifted. It was literally as though I was "me" again. I did feel a bit better when labour started but nothing compared to the sheer relief and me-ness after I delivered dd.

I'm sure in my case it was hormonal.