to want the mother of my child to email me a response?

[genericeric]

I became a Dad to a beautiful boy last August. although the situation is not how i planned, i am proud to have become a father even though my visits are limited to once a month. He was changed my life for the better.

I need to explain that she is in the Midlands and i am in east Anglia, i was living in the same city as her but moved away before she became pregnant (still meeting up)

Me and his mother were FWB. We got pregnant and i told her i did not want a relationship but would support my son. We agreed to raise him together as friends.

soon after his birth things went south. Everything we agreed on she has not followed through:

1. double barrelled surname (agreed then changed her mind)
   
2. visiting his grandparents (as above)
   
3. allowing me time alone with him (as above)
   
4. getting christened (i refused but she stated the church only needs one parents consent)
   
   as well as not keeping her promise she is also starting to say some very nasty things to me. not only are the totally untrue (and can be proven with text messages) It's quite obvious that she is trying to become an obstacle between me and my sons relationship.
   
   last week i asked for her email address. I informed her that i will be sending her emails with all these requests i have made and that she can reply in her own time.
   
   in my opinion this is the only way that i can get cast iron evidence that i am trying to make the effort and she is not letting me.
   
   she has refused to do this.
   
   
   i made the decision last week to find work and move back to the same city as her with the intention of taking a hands on role in my sons life. It wont happen overnight i know that.
   
   So my question is .........
   
   
   
   Am i being unreasonable to ask my childs mother to email me a response to my requests?
   
   would you be receptive to the idea?
   
   would you show these emails to your child in 17 years time?
   
   have i opened up a can of worms?
   
   any advice would be much appreciated.
   
   Eric

[JanineStHubbins]

on one of my visits her friend was saying how was waiting until she was on holiday with her bf to tell him he was pregnant (on the phone in the other room) my sons mum thought it was a brilliant idea.

So?

[VeryStressedMum]

Listen Eric, the obstacles in your way about having a relationship with your son have been put there by you.
You cannot expect to see a very small baby once a month then expect for the mother to hand him over for unsupervised visits. The reason you see him once a month is because you moved away from the city your son is in.
You are not there for your son, therefore you don't have a very good relationship with the mother of your son. Therefore she has no interest in doing what you want her to do as these things benefit you but put her out (going to stay in the middle of nowhere with her ex and his parents!).

If you want things to improve you're going to have to see your son more and actually be active in his life. If that is what you want.

[gobbynorthernbird]

What has her friend got to do with anything?

[mathsgsceresit]

What has her friend and her friend's relationship with her boyfriend got to do with you and your Fuckbuddy's lack of relationship?

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

on one of my visits her friend was saying how was waiting until she was on holiday with her bf to tell him he was pregnant (on the phone in the other room) my sons mum thought it was a brilliant idea

Do you mean your child's mother thought it was an idea to give you the news this way or is her agreeing with her friend an example of her unreasonableness?

[gentlehoney]

I am completely lost now.
What does the friend telling her boyfriend she is pregnant have to do with anything?

[VeryStressedMum]

What on earth has that got to do with this situation?!!

[genericeric]

i personally think its bad as she thinks it's ok not to tell her bf about her pregnancy until they are miles from home and is put on the spot?

trapped?

should she not have told him the moment she found out? i truly dont know what your answer will be to that one but if it was me i would tell them asap.

[genericeric]

her mother also waited until she was on holiday with her husband before telling him about my son

[Bambamboom]

Jeremy Kyle show?

[mathsgsceresit]

Your last post just says all I need to know. You think she trapped you.

Did you use condoms?

[BlackWings]

Why are you blanking/not responding to all the advice you've been given and mentioning completely irrelevant facts that are nothing to do with your situation?
outta here

[Vivacia]

Deletes post about how women should share the happy news of pregnancy

I think it'd be best to focus on you and your relationship with your child and their mother.

[JanineStHubbins]

Ah, wise up OP. Who gives a fuck about the friend and the friend's boyfriend? It's NONE of your business whatsoever and has nothing to do with your situation.

[Vivacia]

But Janine it's important evidence about how women trap poor menz.

[KanyeBeArsed]

You might be right about your FWB's friend, or it could be that she wanted to make it a romantic surprise. Or any one of a hundred other motives, not one of which has anything to do with you or indicates anything at all about your FWB's character.

Totally agree with maths

[HoldMeCloserTonyDanza]

Believe it or not for many people in happy relationships news of a baby is warmly received.

I personally couldn't hold good news in that long but I think surprising someone with news that we were about to become parents while on holiday could be lovely and romantic.

I think if you keep looking for reasons to think the worst of someone you will never have a productive relationship.

I'm glad you're moving back nearer to your son. Less of the emails now, less of the pointless arguments online with strangers. Just put your head down and muck in with the job of actually raising him. Everything will be fine.

[genericeric]

summary of advice:

change my communication with her to a more friendly tone

accept my relationship with my son will not be how i want it

[CromerSutra]

I guess honestly she may be feeling that since you are not together it is easier to do it on her own. I'm not saying I agree with that just that it IS hard to really co parent when you live in different places. There's nothing wrong with your wanting this to be sorted and be fair.

[IfNotNowThenWhen]

Put on the spot?? Trapped?? Maybe the friend thought her BF would be happy, and she wanted to make an occasion of telling him?

Eric.
If you don't want the risk of getting a woman pregnant, don't fuck without contraception.
That's 1.

1. Believe it or not, it seems highly unlikely, given your obvious, er, difficulties communicating with humans, that your ex-FWB was trying to "trap" you, by getting pregnant.
   

Honestly.

[LineRunner]

I don't understand OP why you reported a post?

[mathsgsceresit]

Did you use a condom?

[prettywhiteguitar]

Not read much of the advice then have you mate ?

[LineRunner]

Sorry, on mobile site, I refreshed and was taken to first page.

[CromerSutra]

Sorry, didn't realise the thread was this long and only read the first page . Hope you've received some helpful advice and that things improve Eric.