Trying to make DT2 safe at night

[lock951753]

Have NC for this.

I have 2.5yo DT's. This evening we've just put a tiny lock, similar to the ones that you might use on the inside of a toilet cubicle, on the outside of their bedroom door.

We've done this because DT2 is a sleepwalker (multiple times a night) and during the night got up and went into the living room, climbed up on the shelves, slipped and fell to the floor, luckily didn't hurt himself, from the things that fell off the shelf I think he must have been 3 or 4 up. We woke up to a crash as things fell of the shelf as he did at 3am.

We have childproofed as much as possible and have baby gates on the kitchen door and a lock on the outside of the bathroom that we shut at night but in the living area it's all open plan so there is no way we can put safety barriers to protect him. The only other way we could assure his safety would be to remove all furniture and have a totally empty lounge/diner.

The DT's bedroom is next to ours so if either cries we hear them and we would never use it for punishment or getting them to go to sleep, thankfully they are good at that, I would also never leave them to cry. We will only use it after we go to bed for a safety precaution for DT2.

DH and I thought this was the best option but talking to a friend this afternoon and she was horrified.

What else are we supposed to do, sit in shifts outside their room through the night? I don't think my friend realises how lucky we were that he didn't fall badly and hurt himself.

AWBU to have done this?

It's for fine for now stop worrying and ignore your friend

Take the lock off the door, put the gate on their door and put the lock on the kitchen door.

Not one of us knows what is going to happen when we go to bed tonight. It is far too easy to say he will be fine for tonight.

Tough one OP. My DH is a sleepwalker and it' AWFUL waking up to find a big man (DH) wandering about senseless. Sometimes I stay up later than he does and he comes crashing out of the bedroom chasing things which aren't there.

I am interested to hear about the weighted blankets....I think I will put a heavy eiderdown on us tonight in addition to the duvet.

2.5 and he has no awareness of it and what he is doing. Doesn't seem to remember it at all the next day. DH and BIL are like that too. Usually I just guide him back to bed as he is quite obviously fast asleep and just playing out whatever he is dreaming about. He usually just settles down. With the more night terror type sleepwalks I stroke his hair and after a while that seems to settle him down. I don't think he even realises we're there tbh.

I'll look online now for a weighted blanket. Thank you.

Fairy I already explained upthread that there is no kitchen door, just a doorway.

Also Fairy I think there is more chance of him hurting himself by climbing and falling if we hadn't done something tonight.

As a temporary measure a lock is fine for tonight.

Personally I don't think YABU. I used to sleepwalk all the time as a kid and remember once waking up outside of our house at 2am, standing in front of our locked front door barefoot in 6 inches of snow with my duvet in my hands! Talk about scary--I had no idea how I'd gotten there or how to get back inside (was all fine in the end, found my tracks in the snow from the back garden to the unlocked back door I'd apparently exited). Just to say, sleepwalking can be quite dangerous for a small child, so locking the door from the outside, where they can't undo it in their sleep (which I've also done) seems a good idea to me, as a sleepwalker.

That said, potty training and the end result of that will be an issue.

I used to sleep walk, can't remember what my parents did about it though [helpful]
The lock will be fine short term, don't worry about what your friend said.

Stable doors are a great idea, you might be able to pick up a free or cheap gate on the fb selling pages to tide you over til,then.

I bought a very cheap 'shop door' alarm so I knew when DS was going in the kitchen.

It was about £4 from Amazon. It works when someone passes it and you can chose about 100 different noises. It didn't work for us because DS worked out he could duck underneath it but if your little one is sleepwalking that shouldn't be a problem.

Don't fret about what your friend said. people tend to have knee jerk reactions to locks and doors.

I've got 2 sleepwalkers. They are much older now, but we caught DS2 going out of the front door once when he was about 6, I would have never locked them in their rooms. It goes against everything my dad, who was a fireman, taught me.

MrsW I know. DH has pulled me out of bed many times because rocks are falling from the ceiling or the floor is caving in, then there's all the people that come to attack us.. It takes some getting used to.

Maybe I am being very dense but I don't really see why having a lock on the outside of his door is any more dangerous than having a stair-gate across his door. Either way in an emergency (fire etc) he won't be able to get out of his room on his own and will rely on an adult to get him out.

If it is just for one night though maybe you could have him in your room?

For one night, is this unreasonable? No, of course not, but you don't need us to tell you that.

For one night fine, then perhaps not the best option when there are better options available.

Another good idea, thanks Devere will also look for one of those.

Fairy I had visions of walking in in the morning and seeing DS laying with a broken neck because he had climbed and fallen. I've been scared all day. As I said their room is next to ours, I can hear them cry, our bedroom has a door to the back garden so we would be able to exit quickly and we have smoke alarms.
What else do you think I could have done tonight to ensure his safety?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wireless-Door-Bell-Welcome-Alarm-Chime-Motion-Sensor-Detector-Shop-/171397157071?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Door_Accessories_LE&hash=item27e81110cf

this sort of thing. Really easy to install.

DH's sleepwalking means neither of them can be in our bedroom at night, and we unfortunately don't have a spare room.

Thank for all the suggestions. You have given me some good ideas of how we can tackle this.

Its up to you, lock.

You asked for opinions, mine is you should never, ever lock a child in their bedroom! I would sleep on the floor next to his bed, or have him in with me.

My worry with the lock is that something happens with the children and your DH and yourself don't hear or the children can't make you hear or get out of the room.

They would be pretty quick to bang on the door something they do a lot
If they cry we hear them as the walls are thin. The problem with the sleepwalking is that he gets up and wanders very quietly because he is asleep. I'm definitely getting one of those shop door alerts and will be looking into replacing their door with a stable type one.

A 2 year old in a cot with a closed door isn't getting out by themselves in a fire either, so I'm not sure how different a locked door is.

I suppose I can see it would be harder to hear them with a shut, locked door than an open door and stair gate but then having the doors open rather than shut is a risk were there a fire in itself. I think it is probably a case of recognising whatever you do there is some risk (as with most parenting decisions) but it's a case of taking the action which will minimise the risk as much as possible. In your situation I would probably be okay with locking my DD in a room for one night, I would consider it less of a risk than the climbing/falling. If you still have one from when they were smaller perhaps have a baby monitor on in the room so that you could hear them.

Alternatively, if they are in proper beds rather than toddler beds, could you have the twins in your bed with you and DH in their room for one night?

How about taking off the door handle and turning it upside down?

Have you already tried using a cot or sleep sack?