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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a grump about dp getting takeaway

30 replies

MoreTeaPenguin · 21/08/2014 20:28

Last night I cooked dinner for dp and the kids (not for me because I was going out), fed the kids and left dp's on the side with a note with instructions how to heat it and a cheesy "I heart U" at the bottom of the note. DP ordered himself takeaway for a treat after a long day (with his own money) and put the dinner in the fridge. It hasn't been wasted - we're having it tonight for dinner. But I have the rage, and I'm not sure if it's reasonable or not! I think I'm annoyed because it feels like a rejection of the note. Writing it down I feel less and less reasonable! Maybe it's just because I'm generally angry because of something else and it's leaking out here! So, what would your reaction be? Thank you!

OP posts:
TeaAndALemonTart · 21/08/2014 20:30

YABU, sorry. Is something else bothering you?

Only1scoop · 21/08/2014 20:30

Well you know what to do next time Wink

awsomer · 21/08/2014 20:31

Sorry but YAB a bit unreasonable. I love a night in by myself so when my OH goes out I tend to treat myself (glass of wine, chops, crap tv), this just sounds like his version of that. Also, look on the bright side; you don't have to cook tonight!

PlushSuppie · 21/08/2014 20:31

I think I would be a bit annoyed but the fact that it hasn't gone to waste would help.
He just may have really fancied a takeaway and not what you cooked. He could have been thinking about it all day and really looking forward to it, so I would probably just let it go, this time!

awsomer · 21/08/2014 20:32

Chocs* not chops!

FunkyBoldRibena · 21/08/2014 20:33

What else is the actual problem?

Friedbrain · 21/08/2014 20:35

With his own money....

Is he your husband or son.....

Only1scoop · 21/08/2014 20:37

The with his own money did make me chuckle Smile

And the note explaining how to heat it up Confused

Hope you enjoyed it

Flexibilityisquay · 21/08/2014 20:37

YABU about this, but it sounds like there is something else going on and you are trying to suppress how you feel about that.

Ihatemytoes · 21/08/2014 20:38

I wouldn't be bothered by this at all. We always get a takeaway when DH is away/out.

awsomer · 21/08/2014 20:39

Calm down, fried, people have different ways of organising their finances. It was a bit of a hilar comment but no need to get snidey.

gamerchick · 21/08/2014 20:41

Well you know not to cook for him the next time you're going out.

I really wouldn't give it any more headspace.. He just fancied something else and put your dinner away to use the next day.

thatstoast · 21/08/2014 20:41

If there is something else going on and this is the straw that broke the camel's back then please ignore this post.

Have you heard of languages of love? You made him food and left him a note because you love him and you think that if he loved you he'd eat the food. You perceive him not eating the food as a rejection.

He communicates his love differently and in no way associates the food with love. He is not rejecting you. It's just food.

(waits for massive drip feed)

McBear · 21/08/2014 20:42

Id feel a tad rejected too in all honesty but it has no logic behind it so Y(or weWink)ABU

MrsWinnibago · 21/08/2014 20:45

If there's one thing I hate it's couples who try to control one another in petty ways! YABU.

magicalmrmistofelees · 21/08/2014 20:47

YABU for seeing it as a rejection of your note... I think there must be something else going on for that to even enter your head. I've done this a few times to my DH, he often leaves me something for dinner and I'll cook something else I fancy instead then have it for my lunch the next day (or he will).

Marmiteandjamislush · 21/08/2014 20:47

YABU, majorly. He hasn't rejected anything. He is an adult who did not want a home cooked meal, neither did you. Give yourself a shake.

scottishmummy · 21/08/2014 20:49

If it's only take away I can't see issue,if you have other issues the note triggered that different
Adult decides they want a take away after hard day?I fail to see the issue

AmIthatHot · 21/08/2014 20:49

Fried appears perfectly calm, not need to have a go at her. OP yes YABU, it wasn't wasted.

It was nice of you to make him something last night, but if he's eating it to tonight then not such a problem

Purplepoodle · 21/08/2014 20:49

Annoys me too when dh does this. It makes me feel like my cookings not good enough for him.

MsUumellmahaye · 21/08/2014 20:51

Sorry but i had a good giggle at the chop eating Grin

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 21/08/2014 20:51

Obviously YABU here, have some Wine

BravePotato · 21/08/2014 20:51

He rejected the meal. That is a fact.

I would just stop leaving him meals with notes, instead let him fend for himself on days he does not eat with the rest of you.

This happened to me, and this us what I did!

Less of the housewifely martyr, for you AND me!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 21/08/2014 20:52

I would be slightly irritated but relieved that what I'd had not gone to waste.

You know not to prepare anything for in future for him.

Hope whatever else bothering you isn't too big xx

ilovesooty · 21/08/2014 21:02

I don't see an issue unless it's part of a wider picture.

Why did he need instructions on how to heat it up?