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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it me or is this a bit odd??

50 replies

Justaquickone1 · 21/08/2014 16:20

...Friend has endometriosis and just got married. I think it causes her a lot of problems but she is quite stoical about it and doesn't make much of a fuss. I know she worries a bit about whether she'll conceive but it doesn't rule her life or stop her doing things iyswim.

Anyway, i went to see her last weekend. She had just come back from LA where she went on honeymoon and had dumped all her purchases in the spare room and i had a look. There was a baby's blanket on the chest of drawers with a label. I asked her if she was pregnant and she insisted she wasn't (we later went out for drinks so she's definitely telling the truth) but asked her why she had done that. She said she thought it would be nice for when she does have a baby. Struck me as a bit odd but then i tend not to be too sentimental about things. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Justaquickone1 · 21/08/2014 16:21

..especially when she says she plans to have first baby in a couple of years all being well?

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 21/08/2014 16:23

I don't think dumping purchases in the spare room is odd. Why were you poking around in her spare room?

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 21/08/2014 16:24

Of course it's not odd.

You sound odd though in your reaction to it.

She's bought a memento of her honeymoon for her future possible child. It's a fairly normal thing to do.

Original poster
Justaquickone1 · 21/08/2014 16:24

No i meant buying a blanket for a baby you don't have? I asked to look at what she'd bought.

OP posts:
OldCatLady · 21/08/2014 16:24

to be honest I know quite a few people who have bought baby items when not pregnant (or trying). But only if they were very special items...so I'm guessing she saw it in LA, loved it and decided to buy it since she wouldn't have another opportunity

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 21/08/2014 16:24

And why were you rooting around in her stuff anyway?

tootiredtothink · 21/08/2014 16:25

It's you....

Lweji · 21/08/2014 16:28

At some point there was a sort of tradition of buying a first item for something that we didn't yet have. Such for a house, car, or child.

I had chosen my son's name a few years before I had him, although I don't remember if I actually bought something.

She took pleasure in buying something and planning for a baby that she may never have (or may have, who knows?). Let her be.

m0therofdragons · 21/08/2014 16:28

I have endometriosis. The year we decided to try for dc dh bought me a dragon toy thing that I will keep forever. It was his way of telling me we could try after 3 years of my broodiness and him not being ready. We were told conceiving could be tricky. I fell pg on 2nd month of trying. 2nd pg happened a month before we planned to ttc (but being less careful) I fell pg with twins! I guess she's not planning on visiting la again and wanted to be able to say she'd bought a blanket while over their. I don't get the issue, she's not decorated a full nursery.

Lweji · 21/08/2014 16:28

I mean we had that tradition as a family, almost by accident.

Rokenswife · 21/08/2014 16:30

My mum bought a little Christmas train for 'future grandchildren' because she fell in love with it.

NorwaySpruce · 21/08/2014 16:31

What your friend did wasn't odd.

Asking outright whether she was pregnant on the back of seeing a baby's blanket in amongst her holiday stuff was odd and mean.

m0therofdragons · 21/08/2014 16:32

There not their grrrr sorry, on phone

fabulousfour · 21/08/2014 16:34

I think thats actually a lovely thing to dox

WooWooOwl · 21/08/2014 16:34

It's you.

Legionofboom · 21/08/2014 16:34

Yes, YABU

I don't think it is odd in the slightest. She wanted to buy something for her possible future child while on honeymoon. I think it's rather sweet.

fabulousfour · 21/08/2014 16:35

Oh for the love of cheese... Didn't mean to xx

Tikimon · 21/08/2014 16:35

Asking outright whether she was pregnant on the back of seeing a baby's blanket in amongst her holiday stuff was odd and mean.

That's not odd, nor is it mean. If I saw baby things, I'd get excited and ask if one was on the way too.

That said, I never bought baby things before getting pregnant, and I don't know anyone that has. The closest I've come is just picking out a few things that I will pass down to my children if I ever had them. But it's not odd if she's planning on having one anyway. Why not?

Butterpuff · 21/08/2014 16:37

Not odd but I wouldn't do it.

I have a thing about not buying things in case of disappointments. For that reason I don't like Baby showers, knowing the sex, etc. But to be honest I think that says more about me than others.

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 21/08/2014 16:43

I wouldn't have mentioned it. I had endometriosis and was worried I'd never conceive. Sometimes, during low times, I'd buy baby/pregnancy mags. Just so I could have the experience of doing so. But I'd have been embarrassed if anyone had noticed or pointed it out.

Sootgremlin · 21/08/2014 16:44

I think it's you too.

When I was newly married and a few years off even thinking about trying for a baby, I was browsing books and bought a couple of special editions of children's picture books that I kept 'for a future child' because I liked the stories and the idea of having them.

They lived in a spare room for five years, now they are read over and over to my little boy, and will be again to my daughter, and I have a nice memory of being young and free with it all ahead of me, choosing those books.

If someone had questioned my rationale for buying them, asked outright if I was pregnant and implied it was odd, I'd have thought they were rude and rather too into my business.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2014 16:51

I think it's a nice idea

For all you know, they might privately have decided to start trying sooner rather than later.

DarkHeart · 21/08/2014 16:58

I think it is you too

Dontstepinthecowpat · 21/08/2014 16:58

I think it's a lovely thing to buy. It's not like she can just nip across for another one when/if she has a baby.

I was a bit peeved when MIL bought a pink bunny for our third baby, a psychic told her I would have a girl Confused, I thought it was because she hoped for a girl after two DGS's. Anyway I had a girl and that bunny has never left her side since she was born, she loves it and it has become sentimental to me.

ILovePud · 21/08/2014 17:02

I don't think it's weird, in fact that sounds like a lovely idea, I wish I'd have thought of doing it.