To think it's rude to tell someone they smell?

[chumrun]

Obviously, if it was an ongoing problem like body odour or halitosis that would be different.

Went to my next door neighbours house last night to give a birthday card. Neighbour is very elderly and requires care. She's also a bit deaf, so I leaned over to speak to her as one of her carers also leaned over. Carer pulls a face and says something like "ugh, have you been eating garlic?"

I hadn't, as it happens, but I do have just a touch of hayfever which is probably blocking the back of my mouth a bit. But no one else has complained!

AIBU to think this was extremely bad manners?! It's made me quite cross!

[chumrun]

I know what you mean as I worked with a lady with dreadful body odour; I don't know how she didn't notice herself to be honest!

But even if it was someone you knew well you wouldn't deal with it by saying 'eww' or 'ugh' surely - well I might with DH if he reeks to cuddle me when all sweaty and stinky!

[Beastofburden]

I agree. I had a colleague who truly honked and I never found a acceptable way to raise it with him. If you say nothing they don't know- but if you say so etching, it is so personal and difficult, especially when they start from the premise that you are wrong, because then you have to give evidence that it is true and prove it to them, and that is just awful (everyone thinks you smell, it's not just me...)

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I think it shows a distinct lack of social skills and concern for others feelings.

[AdamLambsbreath]

I've worked with people who stink, and had to tolerate it for years. One guy grew mildew on his dreadlocks. MILDEW.

And we had to work outside, in summer, in the hot hot sun.

It was grim.

He knew full well though. It was all part of a late teen rebellion thing. No-one said anything (apart from to our manager, who failed to deal with it professionally), but eventually after 3 years someone snapped and sprayed the guy with Lynx in the changing rooms.

Not kind, but I can't get too cross about it

[Tikimon]

I only tell people they smell if I'm staying with them. It's not hard to shower.

But they're normally close friends or family, so it's fine.

Some people need to be told about their smell, but it should be done by someone in a sensitive manner. It's better you tell them before everyone talks and makes fun of them behind their back.

[fiorentina]

She was rude but sorry to say that you also are a little rude asking for advice and then ignoring all responses.

[chumrun]

I'm not asking for advice on my hygiene though :) and I definitely haven't been rude to anybody here

I have to admit I was surprised by initial posts that implied I was the rude one for daring to venture near anyone with my fetid breath so I hastily explained this was not the case!