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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To use this baby name regardless?

59 replies

fairyteepee · 20/08/2014 18:32

My husband and i are in our late 20's, when my husband was 17 he had a girlfriend for 1 year with the surname Jax.

He lost his virginity to her and they had a typical teenage romance. We still run in similar circles to her through mutual friends my husband and her have kept for many years.

We bump into her at birthday parties for mutual friends children's birthday parties and the occasional wedding. I have no problem with her nor should i.

ANYWAY both me and my husband really like the name Jax for a boy but as i said its her surname. Should this put me off?

Thanks!

OP posts:

FacebookWillEatItself · 20/08/2014 19:30

If it doesn't bother him, or more to the point you then I really don't see what you are worrying about!

Original poster

fairyteepee · 20/08/2014 19:31

attheendoftheday good for you! that was where i was initially coming from. I think in your situation by going ahead and naming your child that despite her actions you showed how irrelevant that woman was to your relationship.

OP posts:

Xmasbaby11 · 20/08/2014 19:35

I wouldn't do it. I'm sure you can find another lovely name that doesn't have negative connotations for you.

Tikimon · 20/08/2014 19:36

You just don't name babies after ex's. Save yourself the headache. Even if you don't associate it with your ex, other people will. You don't want that on your child.

There's lots of really nice boys names out there, why not find another?

Original poster

fairyteepee · 20/08/2014 19:42

Tikimon i dont think i would be naming my child after his ex it woudnt be in her honour or anything! i would just not allow myself to be deterred from a pre wanted baby name by my husbands teenage fumbles surname.

OP posts:

Leeds2 · 20/08/2014 19:47

I wouldn't even consider it.

It's your baby, so you can obviously call him what you want, and rightly so, but I think if you called him Jax there would be a lot of gossip behind your back (and maybe to your face!) which I wouldn't want to sour my baby's arrival.

Castlemilk · 20/08/2014 19:53

No, don't. If it were a more common name then fine. But it's really going to look as though you named him after her, or rather it's her name which gave you the idea. She would definitely think so, and would indeed be weirded out. Don't do it.

ROARmeow · 20/08/2014 21:29

OP, are you actually even pregnant??? Your OP doesn't say that you are

Original poster

fairyteepee · 21/08/2014 08:15

Yes i am pregnant

OP posts:

CheerfulYank · 21/08/2014 08:29

Tough one. I don't know what I would do!

Also, I want to know the real name now...

DizzyKipper · 21/08/2014 08:32

The only people whose opinions really matter are your's and your DP's. If both of you are ok with it, and genuinely will be ok with it in the long-term, then there isn't an issue. Besides, just because you still know her and run in the same circles now that doesn't mean you will forever. People move, grow apart etc. The name of your child will likely be much more long-term than these friendships, you should really make sure it's the one you both want and not compromise based on your current situation.

SylvaniansKeepGettingHoovered · 23/08/2014 16:46

God I really wouldn't use her name. People are going to think he's got back with her (or that he wants to!). It's always going to remind your DP of her, surely? Especially as you still bump into her socially sometimes.

There must be other names that you like. Seriously, you can find another name that you really love, if you try hard enough. You sound determined to use it though.

Muskey · 23/08/2014 16:48

I don't think it is a good idea sorry

PhaedraIsMyName · 23/08/2014 17:58

It's a pretty awful name if you're in the UK .

I'm fairly certain "Jacksie" which sounds similar is rude in Scotland

OxfordBags · 23/08/2014 18:55

Have you considered that the Ex might hear of it, and think that your OH has tricked you into naming the kid after her, cos he still loves her, or something like that?

northlight · 23/08/2014 18:59

Is it Jago, by any chance. I love that name.

Jux · 23/08/2014 19:06

I think it's an ugly name. Furthermore, I think it gives a very strange message to your social group who know her, let alone she herself.

KatherinaMinola · 23/08/2014 19:08

Deeply weird, sorry.

windchime · 23/08/2014 19:48

Not relevant to the question but for your information in Ireland, this is a very popular/slangish word for toilet.

Username12345 · 23/08/2014 21:18

If you and your H have no problem with it, then go for it.

She might be a bit weirded out when she finds out though.

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 23/08/2014 21:30

Jax? As a name? Bizarre. It's awful. It's like text speak or Tacky pub signs 'kidz pudz'.

ShadowStar · 23/08/2014 22:48

I wouldn't want to use an ex's surname unless it was a fairly common name. It would feel too much like naming my baby after them.

HaroldLloyd · 23/08/2014 22:56

My favourite girls name is the name of DPs immediate ex.

I probably wouldn't but I don't know, I mean I am 38 now and can't imagine giving much of a shit if I found out my dad once went out with someone with my name? Dunno,

No help sorry.

Maybe it's worse as it's do distinctive, if it was William or something it wouldn't be an issue at all.

Original poster

fairyteepee · 24/08/2014 20:23

DameEdna, i didnt ask for an opinion on the name and if you read the thread ive changed the name for sake of privacy. Jax is very much a real name though and isnt far from Jack, a very ordinary name so not sure how you can say its awful

Thanks for replies but I've decided not to use it!

OP posts:

Methe · 24/08/2014 20:24

You've been watching to much Sons of Anarchy.

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