Who would think this was a sensible option?

[Thistledew]

At a wedding this weekend. The wedding breakfast was a hog roast, so guests were asked in advance if they wanted a vegetarian option.

MIL is vegetarian, so requested this option. The food was served buffet style, so we all went up to collect our meal. MIL says "Please can I have the vegetarian option - what is it?"

...


"Salmon"!




I'm still boggling as to who might have selected this. I know that some 'vegetarians' or rather pescetarians eat fish, but surely it is common knowledge that most many vegetarians don't? Who would have thought it a good idea?

Fortunately, she didn't go hungry as there were several salads served as accompaniment although there had been no veggie canapés but she had to fend of several enquiries from her friend, the mother of the groom, as to whether she had enjoyed her meal!

AIBU to think this was rather bonkers?

[KrisBH]

Shop girl, thanks for making my point for me. Can't state you're a veggie/pesce/vegan etc without these lovely questions.
Pescetarians eat fish. If you want to educate them to the cruelty of fish farming, go ahead, but you may as well talk to all your meat eating friends about it at the same time, because for the purposes of fish eating, we're all in the same boat. This just ties into an assumption that pescetarians are just 'weak' veggies, who lapse by eating fish when they really want to be fully paid up vegetarians. Trying to 'catch them out' by asking if they eat cruelly farmed fish/wear leather shoes/eat sweets with gelatine etc doesn't work because they never said that they didn't!

[ToffeePenny]

And I'd need to add in something to cover eggs as FreelifeInTheWild chickens tend to get eaten by foxes before they lay eggs.

And milk products need to be included. Damn.

HadAFreeLifeInTheWildThenUnderwentAHumaneDeathOrIsAnEggThatCameFromAFreeRangeOrganicChickenOrDuckOrGooseOrIsMilkOrFromMilkThatCameFromAFreeRangeOrganicCowOrBuffaloOrGoatOrSheepThatWasStillAllowedToFeedItsYoungAlongsideMilking-atarian

I'll have the veggie option please.

[QueenTilly]

I don't think eggs are dairy. Unfortunately, some of my non-vegan relatives think anything that says dairy-free from Tesco's Trufree section is egg-free.

So, once, I got given gluten-free bread with egg in as a present.

Sweet thought, but the application went a bit skew-wiffy.

[Boleh]

DP is a pescitarian and I am a fussy meat eater (will only eat welfare friendly type meat) but these are time consuming to convey (not in a country where most people would recognise 'pescitarian') so we either explain - no meat or chicken, fish, seafood, eggs and dairy are all fine or say 'vegetarian' and accept that here that generally means vegan although they may check with you if eggs are OK.
I have seen fish served as the vegetarian option in a UK hotel on a fieldtrip, fortunately the lady who ordered it did occasionally eat fish although she really preferred not to - very odd.

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

YANBU
I really would have assumed in this day and age that everyone would know that if someone says they are a vegetarian you provide a non meat, non fish, veggie cheese if applicable meal.

Yes, there are people who are mostly veggie, but eat fish like my Jewish DF (who would have been delighted with Salmon, but not prawns, as kosher fish must have scales) and DMIL who generally choose the veggi option, but never entirely gave up bacon and the odd bit of Christmas Turkey. DSIL was a strict veggie from 14ish and DMIL mostly joined in because it was easier, cheaper and she liked thinking up interesting meals.

But if catering for strangers you always assume they are strict veggies.

[higgle]

Vegetarians do not eat fish. I have recently been on a group holiday where there were 5 vegetarians at the start of the week, including me. One other ate vegetarian all through the expedition, the other three ate fish when it was offered, and one gave up being vegetarian to eat sausages. haggis and black pudding! In one hotel I was offered Plaice as "the vegetarian option" when I questioned it I was told they might be able to find me a veggie burger in the bottom of the freezer! Even in Hotel Du Vin in Cheltenham I have been told that it was acceptable to offer egg salad as a main course because "most vegetarians eat fish". I despair.

[slithytove]

My best friend is pescatarian and would find questions about the ethics of that completely pointless (e.g. Farmed salmon). He cares as much about that as the average meat eater cares about cows etc.

He doesn't like meat. Hates poultry, can't digest red meat, cba with pork. He likes fish and seafood. Therefore he is pescatarian.

Why assume ethics come into it.

[slithytove]

And yes, it's not rocket science. Vegetarians don't eat meat or fish. Which should include gelatine and stock etc but doesn't seem to for my otherwise staunchly veggie sister, which fucks me right off when I have to use separate cutlery for her but then she will chuck gravy all over her veggie parcel and eat haribo

[Ultracrepidarian]

YANBU
I went to a wedding this weekend I'm a vegetarian who is allergic to gluten and dairy (I eat eggs and honey so I'm not vegan)
Option for me was a vegetarian Wellington, mushrooms and seitan wrapped in pastry it looked lovely but wasn't gluten free the other non meat option was fish. This was professionally catered, I feel bad for your MIL as it's not easy even with vast amounts planning it can still go wrong.
I ended up having vegetables with potatoes and a herb pesto drizzled over the top. They made the pesto quickly to improve on plain sides.
No pudding as it all contained dairy, I had the melon starter again served with a summer berry coulees.
In the defence of caters it's must be tricky meeting everyone's needs, but it's a bit depressing when there's nothing to eat again!

[blanklook]

"I don't know any 'proper' (ie no meat or fish at all) vegetarians anymore"

<br />
I'm surprised at all the tales of people being given fish as the veggie option in restaurants nowadays, it happened to me a lot when I was apparrently the only vegetarian anyone had ever encountered on this planet ahemty years ago.  About 20 years ago, the restaurant veg options used to be lasagne, curry or chilli, nowadays it's often goats cheese tart with caramelised onion or butternut squash risotto.<br />
<br />
Poor MIL at that wedding, I'd have been speechless (and hungry).

[Andrewofgg]

Lettertoherms it's a fact that most who call themselves vegetarian eat eggs and drink milk, so a caterer who includes such things in a veggie option is not wrong.

[TheJiminyConjecture]

Hi blanklook! Come be my friend, I have a vacancy for a vegetarian

Loving the fishandchipocrite also!

Whois your friend is clearly unreasonable, cheesy chips are disgusting!

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Yup, I went to a 4 day work expo fully catered and absolutely no skiving off site ... And they failed to cater for proper vegetarians, as over a third of the company were 'vegetarians who ate fish and white meat'.

I was fuxking starving!!! There were words exchanged and the conclusion was I was being a party pooper who wasn't getting into the company spirit. Grrrrrrrr.

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

Gluten free veggie is fun. DF visited at Passover and we decided to try and not cheat and use matzos.

I think we ended up with vegetable chilli and some sort if fruit salad and her amazing almond cake.

She says the ground almond cake is stupidly expensive to make, so it's a Passover only treat.

[HSMMaCM]

Can I just clarify that vegetarians never ever eat fish. I have no problem with people who eat fish, meat, or those horrible apricots. Each to his own, but saying you're a vegetarian when you're not leads to us getting fed the wrong food.

Hats off to the plane captain who swapped my chicken meal for his cheese sandwiches when someone decided to pretend they were vegetarian and eat my dinner !

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

I frequently order vegetarian meals because I don't much like pork/beef/lamb/fish. If asked "are you veggie?" I say "no, I'm just fussy", seems to work well enough.

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

Yes, we were told very firmly we were/were not veggies for our university field trip as it was a long way to the shops and buggering up the catering just because you didn't like the meat course wasn't fair.

One exception was made when my DF realised she'd forgotten to say she was allergic to fish, but otherwise it was eat up. Fortunately the food was gorgeous. Our hall food wasn't.

[Hakluyt]

What I find very odd is the view that somehow carnivores aren't supposed to eat vegetarian food. How very dare they eat a cheese sandwich- they should only eat meat all the time.

[Me624]

I don't think carnivores shouldn't eat veggie food, however when it's a lunchtime seminar and catering have clearly provided a meat sandwich platter and a veggie sandwich platter, and my colleagues all know I'm a vegetarian, it would be considerate for them not to gobble all the veggie ones before I get there. Just like if I were a meat eater and I had a colleague who I knew didn't like ham, I wouldn't eat all the beef/prawn/chicken sandwiches and leave them only with the ham ones.

[Dontgotosleep]

I agree o.p. If you don't eat meat then you shouldn't eat fish.

[Catnuzzle]

When arranging the food for my wedding I asked the hotel's wedding coordinator if the puddings were vegetarian, her response she was a bit of a dullard 'Well they don't have any meat in them'.
You don't say!!

[exexpat]

Hakluyt - I don't think anyone was saying meat-eaters should never eat cheese sandwiches, just that they shouldn't eat all the cheese sandwiches leaving vegetarians with the ham sandwiches… I have often found that I get to a buffet and all the (obviously more appetising-looking) veggie-friendly stuff has gone, leaving me with a few lettuce leaves and all the leftover sausage rolls/ham sandwiches etc.

[PixieofCatan]

YANBU, my sister almost chose fish as the veggie option at her wedding. She's been a veggie for over 20 years but eats fish I've been a veggie for 20 years and have never eaten fish, you'd think she'd know by now!

[pointythings]

I always ask about cheese, milk and eggs when catering for vegetarians - we have a lot of staff turnover where I work and I love to bake, so I've learned to ask - and to adapt. There are so many 'Free from' recipes of all kind out there, there's no excuse for not trying. At one time I had a coeliac vegetarian with dairy intolerance on the team, I learned a lot and it will stand me in good stand in the future, no doubt.