Who would think this was a sensible option?

[Thistledew]

At a wedding this weekend. The wedding breakfast was a hog roast, so guests were asked in advance if they wanted a vegetarian option.

MIL is vegetarian, so requested this option. The food was served buffet style, so we all went up to collect our meal. MIL says "Please can I have the vegetarian option - what is it?"

...


"Salmon"!




I'm still boggling as to who might have selected this. I know that some 'vegetarians' or rather pescetarians eat fish, but surely it is common knowledge that most many vegetarians don't? Who would have thought it a good idea?

Fortunately, she didn't go hungry as there were several salads served as accompaniment although there had been no veggie canapés but she had to fend of several enquiries from her friend, the mother of the groom, as to whether she had enjoyed her meal!

AIBU to think this was rather bonkers?

[PeterParkerSays]

When I've been to weddings before, it's been the bride and groom who've chosen the menu, which the caterers then prepared. Are you sure that they didn't chose salmon as their preferred option for vegetarians?

[HSMMaCM]

I hate it when people who eat meat or fish call themselves vegetarian. It means I get food with non veggie ingredients in it all the time ie prawns. I convinced a friend at work to introduce herself as a chickenetarian.

[Hakluyt]

"I think there is an issue that every vegetarian eat different things."

No they don't. A vegetarian does not eat meat or fish. Simple.

[Lucyccfc]

I'm not a vegetarian, but I organise lots of meetings and events where we provide lunch.

3 things that really wind me up:

People who say they are vegetarian and proceed to eat the fish option.
Caterers who think prawn or tuna sandwiches are a vegetarian option
Caterers who put the cheese sandwiches or vegetarian options on the same serving plates as meat or fish.

It really isn't that difficult to get this right.

2 of my team are vegetarian and I just read the labels to make sure that any cakes, sweets or biscuits are suitable.

[Leeds2]

If the bridal party had chosen salmon as the veggie option, you would hope that the caterers would have told them it wasn't, and suggested having a third veggie option if having salmon on the menu was important. And if the caterers pointed this out, you would hope it would prompt the mother of the groom to remember that MIL, her friend, didn't eat fish.

I suppose mother of the groom may not have been involved in menu selection!

[KrisBH]

YANBU, this situation was the caterers fault, if they didn't understand what vegetarian means, 2 seconds on google would sort that out. I'm another one of these seemingly annoying pescetarians who describe themselves as veggie in social circumstances. Its not because I can't be bothered to explain it (although I am sick of having to explain the concept to every tom dick or harry) its more to avoid the overly personal questions and criticisms I get whenever I say I'm pescetarian. It then opens you up to those obnoxious people who say'ooh well you're not a proper veggie are you' Erm, no, I'm a pescetarian...? For the people on here getting into semantics about why veggies don't eat meat for ethical reasons, and saying 'why do they eat this, and not this, it doesn't make sense' you're the reason why people don't want to talk about their particular dietary ethos. Its a choice, we don't always want to have a round table debate about our personal ethics every time we go out for a meal fgs.
Also, on the whole, I do it because I think its easier for hosts to cater for one group of veggies than to add an extra group (in this case pescetarian) in. Just because I can eat fish, doesn't mean I have to, but most meat eaters would try and stick in a fish option for me when I'm happy to just eat the roasted pepper quiche or whatever unimaginative veggie dish the meat obsessed chef has chucked together with the minimum of consideration
I don't think we're confusing the issue at all, perhaps I should say something similar to the next carnivore I meet who refuses to eat horse/frogs legs/dog? I'll tell them not to confuse the issue for veggies wanting to cook for their meat eater friends by describing themselves as meat eaters and then not eating EVERY meat available??! How strange that they would have specific preferences as to what they put in their mouths eh?

[Deverethemuzzler]

I have had several discussions rows with non vegetarians who insist that vegetarians eat fish. Usually because they know someone who eats fish who says they are a vegetarian.

It makes NO sense. Vegetarians do not eat animals. A fish is not a plant.

[JustSpeakSense]

YABU

Salmon is not a vegetable!

Where was the wedding OP surely the venue / catering company knew better!?

[KrisBH]

Can I also point out that I don't see as problem with someone saying they are veggie then eating a prawn sarnie at a buffet? They were prob like me, also avoiding the annoying pescetarian inquisition by describing themselves as veggie, but then thought, ooh that prawn sarnie looks nice. The amount of buffets I've been to where meat eaters munch all of the cheese salad sandwiches first (leaving a load of manky looking ham ones leftover), should I march over and demand they put them back and eat the meat ones only? That would be ridiculous!

[TheJiminyConjecture]

I don't know any 'proper' (ie no meat or fish at all) vegetarians anymore. Only ones that eat chicken, fish and things that don't look like mea, sausage rolls and the like. I don't care what people eat but if you tell me you're vegetarian and I cook vegetarian options for you please don't turn your nose up at the thought I might expect you to eat vegetables!

[HappyAgainOneDay]

I went to a party recently and guests were asked in advance what their choice of sit-down main course would be - beef, chicken or fish. I'm not vegetarian but will often eat a vegetarian meal if there's such a choice. I felt sorry for any guests who were vegetarian. I had the fish.

My mother was very ill in hospital at one time and they knew that she is vegetarian. The meal brought to her was - yes, fish. She couldn't even eat the vegetables on the plate because they'd been with the fish (and it had skin on it and bones inside it).

[SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed]

"Maybe the vegetarian society or someone should start an information campaign to popularise the use of the word pescetarian as opposed to fake vegetarian-who-eats-fish?"

This ^

I am pescetarian, oddly some people seem to think this means I eat chicken. Or can be persuaded to eat bacon or ham because they aren't really meat

[AlpacaYourThings]

For the people on here getting into semantics about why veggies don't eat meat for ethical reasons, and saying 'why do they eat this, and not this, it doesn't make sense' you're the reason why people don't want to talk about their particular dietary ethos.

Oh honestly, I'm the reason people don't talk about their 'dietary ethos'?! Get over yourself. I was making a point about the flaws in the argument of Pescetarians who don't eat meat based on the 'loss of life'. I'm not critiquing any dietary choices. Just making a point that it isn't logical.

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

I am a pesky-tarian and I am least likely to eat ham/chicken etc because of the intensive conditions in which they were farmed. Would prefer to eat game / offal if meat were the only option.

I would ideally be a vegetarian but we eat out and with other people a lot and me eating occasional fish makes life easier.

YANBU - even though I eat fish people call me a vegetarian and it's bloody annoying

[KrisBH]

Alpaca, my point was just that I'm sick of being quizzed on this stuff ALL the time, and of people 'helpfully' pointing out the logical flaws in my dietary choices. Who's business is it but mine? You wanna ask me a genuine question, go ahead, but 99% of the time, its just a prelude to calling me out on my choices for some 'logical' reason.
I also happen to be a staunch atheist, but when I'm in a social situation with religious people, I don't automatically question them on their lifestyle choices/beliefs. I may find them nonsensical and illogical, but it would be rude to start a religious debate with them just because their beliefs don't coincide with mine. I'm sure they don't want to start arguing the existence of god every time they venture out into (supposedly) polite company.
Jiminy - neither the OP or anyone else in this thread has mentioned being vegetarian/vegan/pescetarian and turning their nose up at vegetables? Quite the opposite, i' m sure the OP's mil would have loved a vegetable meal. Its being offered meat or fish when you don't eat them that is the issue!

[HazleNutt]

"I don't see as problem with someone saying they are veggie then eating a prawn sarnie at a buffet?" - well those are exactly the people causing the "But X is vegetarian and eats prawns, therefore vegetarians eat prawns" comments.

[JustAShopGirl]

have you pesky-tarians (sorry pescatarians) ever eaten salmon from "fish farms"

or any river cobbler/basa/panga/catfish/talipia/shrimp/king prawn - they are extremely intensively farmed - some in really bad muddy pond conditions in the far east.

[AlpacaYourThings]

Kris I was just adding a thought into the debate. It wasn't about you or anyone else in particular, it was just a view on eating fish over meat.

I'm vegetarian and I don't eat dairy but I do eat eggs, I get enough questions and confused faces about my dietary choices so I'm certainly not judging anyone else.

[SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed]

I don't eat meat because I don't like it (even as a child I thought it tasted absolutely revolting), but I do like a nice piece of fish.

[Amethyst24]

I always feel a more accurate term for pescatarian is fish-and-chipocrite

I actually get the Rage when people claim to be veggie when actually what they are is fussy. Fine to order the vegetarian meal on a flight or whatever if you don't like eating unhappy chicken/crap beef, but don't pretend it's because you're a vegetarian. You're not. Or the person I know who's "veggie" but eats chicken, but only the white meat. FFS.

And don't get me started on the vegetarians who claim the moral high ground whilst still eating battery eggs, cheese with rennet etc etc.

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

I try and avoid eating fish that isn't British or fished in the North Atlantic - I'm fully aware of the ethical and environmental issues around this and try and reduce the harm I do. I am aware this means I sometimes am hypocritical but would rather make 90% effort than give up.

[ToffeePenny]

have you pesky-tarians (sorry pescatarians) ever eaten salmon from "fish farms"

Of course, not particularly proud of it, but when a meat eater is doing the hosting and has gone to the trouble of catering a fish option for me then it would be rude not to. This is why I usually say I'm vegetarian - farmed salmon or farmed king prawns are the default pescatarian option offered (and often the only decent quality items on the supermarket fish counter).

What I'd like is for there to be some sort of HadAFreeLifeInTheWildThenUnderwentAHumaneDeath-atarian. Then I could eat the foods I'm comfortable with.

I doubt the name will catch on though.

[whois]

I don't care what people eat but if you tell me you're vegetarian and I cook vegetarian options for you please don't turn your nose up at the thought I might expect you to eat vegetables!

One of my friends is a veggie. Proper one, won't eat anything cooked on the same BBQ as meat type veggie.

She doesn't like vegetables! Exists on a diet of fake meat and cheesy chips!

[whois]

The amount of buffets I've been to where meat eaters munch all of the cheese salad sandwiches first (leaving a load of manky looking ham ones leftover), should I march over and demand they put them back and eat the meat ones only? That would be ridiculous!

You know people who eat meat also eat vegetables and cheese yeah? They don't exclusively live off animal flesh.